The Hilarious

HOME ALONE WITH MY STEP BROTHER🏡
[⚠SEMI-FINAL⚠]
EPISODE 35

Demola is de@d,
am i dreaming?
This is not a dream, Demola, my stepfather is really d€.
My life totally ruined, when i saw him st@bbed to de@th on the floor,
I didn’t know what to do than to just to scream.
Very early in the morning, the Police filled our compound,
ambulance van was also in the compound, the house was filled with lot of people, sympathizers, neighbours, i was still in shock.
Who could have done this?
Who killed him, i just pray this doesn’t implicate me.
The police did their work trying to interrogate me.
Policeman 1: How did you say it happened?
Me: (Crying) I met him on the floor….
Oh my God, is this happening for real?
Today is our wedding
Burst into tears…
Policeman 2: Calm down madam.
Me: He woke up in the middle of the night, and said he was thirsty, after so many minutes,
he didn’t return back to the room,
so i decided to go check on what was keeping him,
i got to the kitchen and i found him like that.
Policeman 1: Did you say today is your wedding?
Me: Yes, our court wedding is today….
It is today ooo
The policemen looked surprised, looked at each other,
probably they thought i should be his daughter.
They continued their interrogation,
they asked Alero and gateman questions also,
they asked how many of us was in the house.
I told them 5 of us, including Daniel.
Daniel?
where is Daniel?
Policeman 2: Who is Daniel?
Daniel: What is going on here?
Talk of the devil,
Daniel came downstairs looking so weak,
he was surprised the whole house was filled with lot of people, expecially the policemen.
Me: That is Daniel
I pointed to him….
Daniel: What is happening, what are the policemen doing here?
Alero burst into tears…
Alero: Oga don die.
Daniel: Which oga?
Gateman: Your father.
Daniel: My father?
Is this a joke?
Daniel was already panicking,
he didn’t believe it,
not until Demola’s d€ad body,
covered with cloth was being rolled out from the kitchen.
He quickly rushed to them…
Daniel: Wait, Wait, Wait
He uncovered the face and saw his father, truly dead.
He was so frightened, he began to shiver, he was pulled back.
Daniel: Who, who, who, who, whoooo kiiilled my father my father?
Policeman 2: You must be Daniel?
Daniel: What happened to my father?
Alero: He was st@bbed to d£ath
Tears rolling from Daniel’s eyes….
Daniel: Who did this?
He looked at me, he pointed his fingers at me…
I was nervous..
Daniel: It is you,
Omolola you have killed my father.
Me: Me?
No, i saw him d£ad on the floor
He was moving closer, as he was about to descend on me,
the policemen came to my rescue.
Daniel went crazy, crying profusely, shouting. Claiming i killed his father,
that’s a lie,
i didn’t.
Honestly, i was nervous,
i was the one that saw him,
Alero and the gateman found me with his dead body.
I’m dead, i’m the first suspect, i hope i survive this, this is worst situtation in my life,
i will go to jail?
Demola’s body was taken away, the whole house was on fire.
Daniel continued making allegations, insisting i should be arrested and charged for murder.
I wasn’t suprised he would such allegation, it is expected and i hope i survive this.
The police continued their investigation, i was really nervous, this is a big trouble for me,
who will help me out on this?
No family to call, my family in Ondo, even if i call them, what do i tell them?
How do i tell them?
I don’t have my mother’s number anymore, even if i have it, what will tell her?
But the question now is,
who killed Demola?
Few days, we were all invited for more interrogation at the police station.
We were all questioned, the whole thing was becoming unbearable for me cos Demola’s family got involved,
Daniel poisoned their mind as they all accused me of killing Demola.
It was just too much for me to bear, they were all attacking me,
i cried profusely, they were bent on charging me for murder of Demola.
Daniel was the ring leader, he was so against me, he was ready to see me ruined.
I pleaded, they never listened, i was held in the police station for days,
Alero, the gateman and Daniel also were held in the police station.
I was thoroughly interrogated, i was beaten by these wicked policemen to confess on something i know nothing about, i was severely tortured.
‘Confess, confess, did you kill him?
Why did you kill him?’
these were the policemen words,
but what do they want me to say?
I don’t have anything than to confess,
my confession is,
i didn’t kill him, i didn’t kill Demola.
Nigerian police have got no chill pills at all,
is that how they treat criminals?
I was tortured honestly.
The gateman, Alero was also questioned and probably tortured,
i don’t know about Daniel, but it seems i’m deep trouble cos it all falls to me,
just me, does it mean i will be charged with murder,
does it mean i will be jailed?
Even though there is no evidence, i’m still the first suspect, the number one suspect.
Who will i call to defend me in this?
Nobody to call for help, i’ve made a terrible mistake,
i should have gone back to Akure,
i should have gone back to face the shame, instead of this mess.
This is beyond me, this is the worst ever, so i will eventually be jailed for a crime i know nothing about.
****
2 days later....
i was being interrogated again in the dark room, the truth was revealed,
so i won’t be going to jail after all.
Do you know who killed Demola?
The police told me,
i was told Alero confessed, yes she confessed, she did,
she knows who killed Demola,
she saw the killer, she did, i was told how it all happened,
Daniel k!lled his father, Daniel is the killer.
Alero told the police that she saw Daniel coming out from the kitchen in the midnight but she didn’t see how he stabbed him that he only saw him coming out of the kitchen.
How come?
Is this true, can this be true, she saw him coming out of the kitchen?
What was she doing in the midnight that she saw him, still don’t understand.
Daniel killed his father?
The police man asked…
Policeman: Did Daniel had any quarrel or misunderstanding with his father?
I remembered, that is true, yes….
Me: Yes, officer, yes, they had misunderstanding, yes, yes.
Policeman: Are you sure?
Me: Yes!!!
It was that night he tried To Mo**st me, him and father had a conflict, he was also sent away by his father.
I remembered he threatened, he said i we were gonna regret it.
Policeman: Are you sure of what you’re saying?
Me: Yes, yes, yes, me and Daniel are not in good terms, we are sworn enemies, he doesn’t want me to marry his father, he threatened me so many times…..
Or, was is it me Daniel wanted to kill?
That he mistakenly killed his father?
I am confused as you are, i’m sure you’re also confused.
What really happened?
What happened?
*****
Few days later, after autopsy was done, the knife used to stab Demola had Daniel’s fingerprint and they also found Daniel’s cloth covered with blood in his room.
This is unbelievable, why would Daniel kill his father?
What got into him?
But Daniel was insisting he knows nothing about it, he claimed he knows about it,
it all falls back to Daniel now.
Daniel still denying he didn’t do it, that it was a lie, its too late cos the evidence has shown he is the murderer.
My step brother is a murderer?.....
TBC

My wife started loving meåt 🍖 ever since she got pregnant 🤰🍖… and not just loving it… she can't stay without meåt 😭
As the husband, I barely see meat to eat again… my own portion is always looking like sample do tiny.. 😒

On that faithful day, I asked her:
“Why is my own meat always small… and you will be serving yourself too much?? 🤨”
My wife cut in immediately:
“Ohh you like complaining a lot… can you see I’m pregnant?? 🤰😒”
Me:
“And so? Because you’re pregnant I shouldn’t eat meat??”
She replied:
“I will cry if you don’t stop complaining about me 😭… my baby wants to eat meåt!”

Then I said to my pregnant wife:
“Okay let me ask you a question… do you want me to stay hungry?”
She replied:
“No.”
“Very good,” i said.....then if you want me to eat then you must give me meat... 🥓
My pregnant wife then asked me 👇....
“Would you love to sleep in peace tonight?”
I said:
“Yes…” 😅
“Would you love to deny your child meat?”
I said:
“No…” 😭
Then she said:
“Then very good… from today, don’t complain about meat again. It’s mine alone.” 😌🍖
At that moment… I didn’t say a word 🤐
Because in this her condition… I knew I would never win 😭
So instead of dragging meat with her…
I changed pattern quietly 😏
I started going to the kitchen late at night 🌙
To be having my own share…
Every night… same process…
I go open pot gently… carry small meat… close am like nothing happened 😂
Everything was going smoothly…
Until she finally noticed 👀
One day as we were eating together…
She asked:
“Honey… have you been taking meat from the pot?? 🙄”
I didn’t allow her to finish…
I just burst out:
“What nonsense is that?? 😡
Are you calling me a th!ef in my own house??
What meat are you even talking about??
Next thing now you will ban me from eating completely!”
Before she could say anything…
I rushed in like a new generator, the vibrate with åñgēr 🏃🏽‍♂️
She just kept quiet… looking at me 😐
Then she said calmly:
“Are you done ranting? Don’t worry… I will find the thief.” 😌
That statement alone… made me realize I need to lay low...😭
I told myself:
“Guy… reduce movement first.”
So I went on break for some days 🚫🍖
After the break…
I came back stronger 😎🔥
This time… I changed my moves…
No more small meat…
I started going for the big big ones 🍖😂
One week passed…
No complaint… no talk…
Everything was smooth 😌
I felt untouchable 😭
I didn’t know my wife had started observing me 👀
Every night I tiptoe out…
She would ask:
“Where are you going?”
I would reply fast:
“To the toilet 🚽”
She would just keep quiet…
And I would continue my operation 😏
One night she asked again:
“Where are you going by this time… sneaking like that?”
I replied:
“I’m not sneaking… I’m going to the toilet.”
She pretended to sleep 😴
I thought everything was under control 😌
I looked left… looked right… 👀
Entered the kitchen with my phone torch 🔦
I didn’t want to on the light…
I moved quietly… opened the pot…
And boom 😳🍖
Big meat dey inside!
I smiled small 😏
Unknown to me…
My wife had checked the toilet 🚽
I was not there…
She didn’t call me…
She just walked straight to the kitchen quietly 🚶🏽‍♀️
Before I knew it…
KPAAM!!! 🚪🔒
She locked the kitchen door from outside 😭
I stood still.
No movement.
No sound.
Then my phone rang 📱
I tried to mute it…
Too late 😭
From outside… I heard her laughing 😂
“I know you’re inside… so this is your toilet??”
😭😭😭
I kept quiet… because I knew where she was heading to 😭
She added:
“Stay there till morning… since you like the kitchen.” 😌
After some minutes…
I tried:
“Baby please… open the door 😭 let’s talk this like husband and wife…”
She replied:
“No problem… you and the meat can settle it tonight.” 😂🍖

Woman warrior