Shaunafensketherapy

Amazing night with amazing people! 💜 If you want the PowerPoint slides to learn more about apologies, drop your email below or sign up on my webpage:


https://shaunafensketherapy.com/connect-with-shauna-fenske/

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Make the Most of Your "Happy Birthday" Post Taking the time out of your day to wish someone a happy birthday is very thoughtful and kind! Take advantage of the opportunity by taking your post to the next level! Rather than simply writing, "Happy Birthday" on someones Facebook wall (or text), consider making the most of your post by including....

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See you tomorrow!

UPDATE!!!
Relationship and Marriage Builders is postponed until TOMORROW night due to the weather! Stay warm! ❄️

A letter to my dad. 💙

I encourage you to write your own “goodbye I thank you” letter for any grief or loss that has been a challenge to transition from. 🙏

Goodbye I Thank You (NOT Goodbye I Hate You) Grief is a part of life...and how you move through it will make or break your human experience. Grief goes beyond death and includes transitions. We are always transitioning in life and as a result, goodbyes are inevitable. I want to share with you my letter to my dad after he left treatment to go b...

Relationship and Marriage Builders TONIGHT! -

Relationship and Marriage Builders TONIGHT! Remember if you attended all three you will be entered in for a prize tonight! Let’s continue this journey of enlightenment and learn how to put our ego in check!

See you Friday!!! Put your ego in check and elevate!

Relationship and Marriage Builders Remember if you attend all three you will be entered in for an awesome prize! Let’s continue this journey of enlightenment and learn how to put our ego in check! But even if you can only come to one or two, you will still experience a SHIFT.

New Bachelorette game I created! Tag all the future brides (or grooms) you know of!

Would you play this game?!

Fresh and NEW Bachelorette Game I have been immersed in planning a dear friend’s bachelorette party and was trying to think of fresh and new games for the gals to enjoy and especially, the bride. We know all the classics…would she rather, bingo, truth or dare and the list goes on. During

Such an incredible night with all of us crazies!

All Aboard the Crazy Train Tomorrow! - https://mailchi.mp/a6701e66ed06/all-aboard-the-crazy-train-tomorrow

LAUNCH PARTY 💜🙌🎉🪩

I am thrilled to introduce my new website!

👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼 Check it out!
Major GIVEAWAY ENTRY for two!
1) Tag someone/share!
2) Comment your favorite part of website!

B💜NUS Entry
3) Subscribe to email list to stay up to date on new blogs, resources, more giveaways, and everything else I’m up to!

https://shaunafensketherapy.com

Shauna Fenske Therapy A Better me for a Better we A Better me for a Better we In an effort to become a better we, each of us needs to become a better me at the intersections of mental health, faith, and culture. How you show up

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Friday!!! Anyone is welcome!

What we want and expect out of our relationships and marriages these days is a relentless type of love. The type of love that helps us become the best version of ourselves. Join Shauna on Friday to learn what is required to achieve relentless love, where we may fall short, and what makes this most profound and meaningful love available and hard to achieve.

Save the Date - https://mailchi.mp/2e18ade696ee/save-the-date
This Friday May 20th at 7pm!

Join me!!! I promise this class with STRETCH you and grow you! And it’s FREE! 🙏

The worst case scenario in any situation is our uninvestigated thoughts. We will learn how to hold these thoughts up to the truth and FLIP THE SCRIPT for more peace in ourselves and our relationships!

Join us in the Multipurpose Room this Friday, 1/21, at 7pm!

Childcare is not available.

It was an honor to serve these veterans and get the opportunity to have a small part on their journeys! I was privileged to spend two sessions with them on how to mend and build healthy and meaningful relationships. Today they graduate the Warrior’s Path Course from Every Third Saturday, a powerful nonprofit that invests and walks along side veterans to foster post traumatic growth. This group of warriors celebrate their hard work and successful completion of a different type of basic training course…one of healing, recovery, hope, and freedom within themselves! 🙌 🇺🇸 🙌
Congratulations cohort 3!

Grateful for engaged and hungry to grow people and community

It’s so easy when a child is upset and is experiencing dysregulation, to follow suit as adults! It can be overwhelming to deal with big emotions of our little loved ones! Especially when adults are already stressed or dealing with mental health/trauma themselves and have lower capacity as a result.

If a child is upset the first thing to do is help them calm themselves down. Teaching children to ground themselves in moments of dysregulation will help them re-engage with focus. Learning emotional regulation young decreases mental health issues and creates more positive social and emotional engagement for healthy relationships!

Follow these steps to help teach emotional regulation:
1. Help them calm down (breathing, safe area, blanket, music, hug, jumping jacks, identifying body sensations, etc) Find out together what works best best for them!
2. Explore what they are feeling, what they want/need. Explore where they are feeling sensations in their body. Help them come up with words to identify and express their feelings! That can be half the battle sometimes. Get a feelings chart on hand for kids! Talking about feelings as well as physical sensations will help integrate mind and body connection.
3. Discuss boundaries. After they find calm and have identified feelings/sensations, you are able to correct the behavior or talk about the situation.
4. Be consistent with the message of the importance of learning their body/emotions and connecting and communicating with others!

And give yourself grace when you do not do this perfect or every time! Know in your heart you are doing the best you can!

Powerful night with powerful people!!!!

ATTENTION COUPLES! 🤗
How do you greet your partner?
In the morning? When you or they get home from work? Or anytime you’ve been a part? Do you say hi? Do you look them in the eye? Do you ask how their day was? Do you say nothing at all? Do you get up and meet them to give them a hug or kiss?

This is one of those seemingly small gestures and rituals that can be more meaningful and boost positive feelings in your relationship! Rule of thumb...don’t let your kids or dogs be more excited to greet your partner than you are! Despite the day you’ve both had...rise to the occasion and give your partner a proper greeting. Perhaps your embrace through a hug for a few moments or checking in is exactly what they (or you) need to melt away the stress!

Make it a goal to create rituals that are meaningful for you and your partner around saying hello and goodbye! It will help your relationship and increase feelings of fondness and admiration!

Leave your partner or someone you love a sticky note to find somewhere with your 5 favorite characteristics about them! 💜

It is likely you’ve heard the phrase “body positive.” Being body positive doesn’t mean that you always feel good about your body or the way you look. It means that you are working on challenging the “standards” society holds as to what is “worthy” and/or desirable.

But I want to take it a step further and challenge you to cultivate body peace. There are so many things attached to body image and how we think and feel about our bodies. It is important we make space to work through these things so we can have a healthy relationship with our bodies. So we can free up the emotional and mental space spent disliking or hating the way we look.

Your body is not your enemy. Hating it will only cause more pain. Explore why, where, and how you developed the relationship you did and consciously work towards feeling peace with your body. While it’s okay to have goals, work on accepting and embracing where you are and your body how it is now.

If you are getting defensive in a conversation, it’s a good indication you’re feeling misunderstood or criticized. Try and take a step back and say, “I think I’m getting defensive because I’m feeling ______. Can you give me a minute so I can listen?” Perhaps try and see if your partner can rephrase it if it is coming off critical.

Are you aware of triggers, phrases, or actions that make you feel defensive? Are there areas where you feel unsafe, unloved, misunderstood, or unsupported? Defensiveness can reveal things if we are paying attention!

remember, defensiveness usually escalates a conversation into an argument or makes an argument worse. Lay your weapon down and check in with yourself. The goal is to hear your partner and understand and you can’t do that with your guard up.

In the midst of career, family, and life in general, it’s hard to find time for anything else let alone taking care of yourself! But part of taking care of YOU is taking care of your friendships.

Friends are life giving and an invaluable part of making life more meaningful and doable. Friends want to support , encourage, and love on you. 💜

Reciprocity is important but if you know your friends heart, be the one to reach out and often. Depending on the season, we all need friends to check in and on when life gets overwhelming or when things get tough.

Just because you understand why your partner is doing what they are doing and you have compassion doesn’t excuse being treated a certain way. You can have compassion AND still have boundaries for how you will and will not be treated.

When you don’t have boundaries and make excuses for people’s behavior, you not only allow yourself to get hurt more, you allow an unhealthy cycle to continue that damages everyone involved.

Love can be messy sometimes but it must be healthy to help and not hurt. And helping can hurt, too. But it’s a hurt that helps and heals...not a hurt that damages and destroys.

Therapy is not just for women. It is for men, too. It is for human beings. The intersection of masculinity and mental health is still something that keeps men from seeking help. Originally, psychotherapy was developed by men to treat women (which is a whole other conversation).

Therapy has been evolving to best serve human beings in general, but especially men’s needs and issues. There are therapists and professionals out there focused on providing therapy for boys and men in today’s society.

Men, don’t be afraid to seek therapy and find a good fit for you. You may have to talk to a few therapists to find the right one but they are out there. Don’t be afraid to share what works for you and what doesn’t...some of that you’ll learn in the process.

We need to create a culture to disrupt the narrative around silent suffering and the expectations for men to be strong, stoic, and silent. Sometimes the act of simply becoming more aware of how men engage with societal expectations of masculinity might be a step toward improved mental health.

Do your part in helping break the barriers for men by not perpetuating stereotypes like avoidance of femininity, homophobia, self-reliance, aggression, achievement/status, attitudes toward s*x, and restrictive emotionality.

If you’re suffering, then you owe it to yourself to get help.

What an awesome evening with imperfectly perfect people! 🙌

It’s very easy to get sucked into our phones with all the media platforms that exist today. Everyone does it but it’s important to be intentional together so it doesn’t cause a rift in your relationship or your partner to feel neglected.

When your on your phone when you’re with your partner, the phone is getting the better of you. You’re denying your partner the opportunity to connect with you and be in relationship. When you spend energy in your phone it’s takes away motivation to spend energy on your partner/relationship.

Make a plan with your partner about cell phone use. Create no phone zones, device free days, or agree on times for use if this is an issue in your relationship. And even if it’s not, be mindful of how it could be impacting your quality time with your family.

It’s sad that many people’s phones know them better than their partner does. Is that true for you?

In my last class about healthy s*xuality, we talked about the importance of affection without expectation in a relationship.

Affection: A gentle feeling of fondness or liking. When people express affection in relationships, it reinforces the bond.

The practice of tenderness, loving gestures, frequent affectionate physical touching (without expectation of s*x), shared thoughts, exchanged feelings, mutual supportiveness and trust, shared laughter, closeness, and sensitivity will take your relationship into another dimension of love and closeness!

Join me for Relationship and Marriage Builders TONIGHT at 7pm in the SVCC multipurpose room!

Last month was the start to a powerful exploration and discussion and we will continue on the topic of healthy s*xuality this evening! A topic that needs to be discussed more on every level-individually, relationally, culturally, and spiritually!

There is so much pain and confusion around s*x and love and we are all in need of healing. I look forward to seeing you tonight to begin that journey!

*xuality *xualwellbeing

Flip the script with the way you think about your partner. Often times, especially when negativity in the relationship builds, couples assume the worst of their partner and their intentions. Doing this only adds animosity and perpetuates a negative cycle of interacting.

For example: Your spouse comes home late from work and you become upset and snap at them as soon as they walk in the door. They are met with criticism and the climate instantly changes. Instead of snapping, you could say something like, you must have had a long day! That way at the appropriate time, you can talk about you being upset in a loving and productive way that you partner can receive.

As you welcome 2021 and say so long to 2020, spend some time reflecting! Write down the highlights under each category as well as your growth areas for 2021!

The best experience is evaluated experience! Research supports that reflection increase self-awareness, insight, emotional regulation and enables us to cope better with life‘s challenges!

Doesn’t it sometimes just seem like the right thing to do when you yield in traffic to another car and let them make their move? For some...it’s difficult to yield for others in traffic. It often seems everyone is in a hurry.

Similarly in relationships, it’s hard for partners to yield to one another. It seems that being “right” is more important than having the right relationship.

Yield: To give way to arguments, demand or pressure; to relinquish possession of something or to give something up; to cease to argue about it.

Sometimes you should give way to LOVE. Choose having the right relationship over being right.

Such an incredible night! 🙌 Grateful for a group of brave people willing to be vulnerable and add so much value to the whole! To be continued...

Do you need more UNDERSTANDING in your relationships? Join us this Friday for Relationship & Marriage Builders as we continue with the FOCUS series!
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Registration is required. Click the “Book Now” button on our Facebook or Instagram pages!
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See you at 7pm in the sanctuary!
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