Forward Effect

LISTENING TO SELF. Join us for a 5 week workshop using the tools of reflection, rediscovery and resilience to move towards a more forgiving, loving relationship with what matters most, the relationship we have with ourselves. Listening to Self combines Coaching and BodyAwake Yoga in a way that will ignite your curiosity and discover the authentic you, the who you were meant to be – before life showed up.
https://www.forwardeffectcoaching.com/listening-to-self/

TRANSFORMING THE 3 R’s WORKSHOP
Reflection. Rediscover. Resilience.
Join us for a 4 week workshop that will lead you back to focusing on the spirit of love and authenticity of self. Participants will learn how to understand the power of using your bodies energy to support your personal development. Through the work shop, you will be invited to discover the magical abilities of your bodies energy and ways to tap into reserves to manage difficult moments. https://www.forwardeffectcoaching.com/transforming-the-3-rs/

Forward Effect is at it again – moving forward! For the past seven months I have written and posted a newsletter every Saturday (the exception was when I was out having a great adventure). Two months ago, I added Monday Moments, a short audio podcast posted on Monday, offering tips on how to start your week and move forward with your plans, pun intended.

You liked Monday Moments. You all liked it more than the newsletter. I can understand the ease of opening an audio file while getting ready for the day, or tuning in on your lunch hour, or when you step away for a break, it’s easy. Of course, readers have emailed me to say how much they like the newsletter.

I hope you understand the energy it takes to manage writing a weekly newsletter and posting an audio file at the same time – whew, even I run out of words. I have a plan, and I want to try it out for a couple of months and see what all of you think.

Beginning in June, I will record a slightly longer audio post every week. On the last Saturday of the month I will highlight and wrap up the ideas from the podcasts. I want to make this a collective effort, send me your thoughts.

Words matter, spoken or written. I want this to have meaning for you and your life. Please let me know your ideas. I’m looking forward to hearing from you, until then – always be willing to try something new every day, you never know where it might lead you. Contact me at [email protected]

Let’s keep it simple. One-line thoughts to carry you through the week.
I Believe that I’m:
* Naturally Creative Resourceful and Whole
* Responsible for Creating My Own Happiness
* Learning and Growing with Every New Experience
* Capable of Overcoming Adversity
* Willing to Make Short-Term Sacrifices for Long Term Gains
* Accountable for My Thoughts, Words and Deeds
* Connected to the Great Web of Life Around Me
* Strong Enough to Change the World and those around me

To the Best of My Ability I:
* Know and Live My Values and Principles on a Daily Basis
* Understand that My Words and Actions Impact Others for Good or for Ill
* Accept that My Attitude can Permeate All Life Around Me
* Live in Right Relationship with Others
* Say What I will Do and Do What I Say
* Am My Word

When I Am in Right Relationship with Myself, I Am Capable, Strong and Inspiring, Bringing Light, Joy and Possibility into My Life and the Lives of Others.

Blessed Be

I walked into my garden and pondered what I noticed – weeds, green and plentiful. One day the ground was brown and barren, two days later, magically, the weeds appeared. They were brilliant and strong, disguised with tiny white flowers. I was not fooled.

I took my spaded shovel and dug in. No matter how attractive they first appeared, I knew, left unattended, they would flourish and take over the garden, strangling the flowers and vegetables. So, ruthlessly, I dug and pulled and hoed, until the soil was turned and the dark sweet earth waited for the sun.

Cultivation. Cultivation is yet another tool to use in human development. It sits right next to discipline and together they give you a powerful set of tools to help you grow yourself. However, the real question is what are you cultivating? I notice there are times when I cultivate blame or denial and feel weary. I wonder when I can quit this game of human development. I drag myself from one appointed task to another. The very place of “I’m done,” Creates the possibility of quitting. When I use vigor, discipline and determination, the outlook for success increases.

I know for myself it’s important to root out those defeating thoughts and manage my gremlins. That will spread throughout my being and sap my energy. Ruthless, and I do mean ruthless, cultivation is the only way to create a clearing that generates strength.

Often I wish this human development process was easier. That there would be a resting place. I would get it, the final piece. Life is not like that. Life presents us with new experiences every day. Life is full of promise and pitfalls. Balance is the single magical element that gets me through it all. I can be patient (another tool) with myself, remembering I am worthy of Love and capable of creating a life that fills me with joy.

Here are the tools we discovered throughout March and April; Self Love, Discipline, Journaling, Balance, Patience, Cultivation, and Compassion.

I would love to hear how these tools are working for you? Which tools do you like best? Which tools give you a better outcome? Notice how you feel when you turn up the soil of your life, feel the tug to grow or stay the same, and of course journal.

Next Week: Ordinary Time

Though April showers may come your way
They bring the flowers that bloom in May
So if it’s raining have no regrets
Because it isn’t raining rain you know, it’s raining violets…

The words from an old song always make me smile, as I hum them in the early spring days, April is the cruelest month, is it not? We look for sun bonnets, and picnic blankets, yet not so quick. Look in your hall or coat closet, what do you see? Snow jackets hanging next to lightweight spring jackets. Scarfs and gloves still at the ready and boot on the shoe shelf. Of course those light weight fleece jackets add to the collection. Not quite time to pack them away, because April is fickle, one day lovely and fair, the next plunging damp cold whips across our faces.

Spring is also a signal that the long dormant time of winter is over. Life that went deep, waiting through the ice and cold is ready, set free by the warmth of the sun and rain to quench the dry earth. As the days lengthen, the light gives nature the signal, time to bud, bloom and leaf out. Light, Heat and water, the three important ingredients that trigger growth.

Light, heat and water apply to humans. Light allows us to see more, look deeper and, illuminates ideas that engage forward thinking innovations allowing people to pursue possibilities beyond the shadows. Heat ignites our passion, driving us forward when the going gets tough and we want to quit. Heat also brings clarity to our vision, it fuels and fortifies our desire to reach the impossible. Water eases us through the heat, cooling our flames into usable embers and satisfying our thirst for success.

Up to 60% of the human adult body is water. According to H.H. Mitchell, Journal of Biological Chemistry 158, the brain and heart are composed of 73% water, and the lungs are about 83% water. The skin contains 64% water, muscles and kidneys are 79%, and even the bones are watery: 31%. We cannot exist without water and without heat and light, we cannot grow anything, even ourselves.

As we greet April, how will light, heat and water grow the seeds you’ve been planting since January? How will you take a deep breath and enjoy the shifting season? Toss off the layers of winter and embrace the ways you will cultivate your development.

“In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.” – Margaret Atwood

Across the globe people everywhere celebrate the changing of the season. In the USA we move from the dark cold of winter to the sweet scent of Spring while in Australia they are readying for winter. Everywhere the shifting seasons trigger a change in us – we can feel it.

After six months of cool, then cold, bitter cold and deep snow, I am ready to toss out the woolens and welcome the light layers of Spring. Yet as I write this on March 31, we had snow flurries here in the Midwest and freeze temps at night. The birds tell me the weather will shift.

This week, many people will honor sacred traditions. Some traditions reach back centuries, some more recent. Even Spring cleaning or readying the house for winter have traditions and rituals that help us leap from one place to another. In my family home growing up, we spent “Holy Week,” cleaning, scrubbing, baking and preparing our house for Easter. By Sunday Morning you could search in every nook and never find the germ that got away.

Rituals prepare our minds, body and spirit to shift, open our view to something new. Margaret Atwood is right, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt, fresh and clean and full of life.

If you are in my home, you will notice a space created for daily ritual, the lighting of a candle, the pause for intention, the honoring of deities, and symbols and elements of things important to me. One day it’s a photo of my mother or siblings, the next a field of flowers, sometimes it’s names of friends who are struggling. These reminders help me to focus and stay present to the world around me. I grew up with statues of saints everywhere and the glow of the votive candle lighting my way to bed.

What rituals do you honor from your past? What rituals will you create this Spring to honor your life, vision and hopes for the future? How will you stay present to the shifting season and honor the new life growing in you? “…at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.” Yes, I invite you to take on the rich soil of life, plant yourself and be prepared to bloom.

For more information about Forward Effect reach out to [email protected].

The First Tool - Desire
The word Desire originated in the 1300, and then as now means "a craving or yearning; an emotion directed toward attainment or possession of an object; sensual appetite, physical desire, lust," from Old French desir, from desirer (see desire (v.)). Meaning "that which is longed for" is from mid-14c.

Desire is an old word that is used across mediums. First used in the 13th century (see above) the word has stayed with us over time and held to its origins. Unlike some words that meant one thing in the past (gay) desire means the same as it did when it first went into use in the 13th century.

I highly desire something or I highly crave something – it could be chocolate or it could be winning an argument or it could be a longing for making a difference in my life or the lives of my family. Desire is the same no matter where you apply it. It’s the circumstances or the target of our desire that is the game changer.

“ Magic is desire made real.” Diana Bishop, says in the All Souls Trilogy, written by Deborah Harkness. It is magical when you discover through hardships that desire fuels our energy when nothing else will. Remembering what we long for gives us a new filter to view the circumstances. Desire is heat and heat comes from passion, passion drives the process. When desire takes up beyond our current competencies we can feel unsure, rocky and wonder if the outcome is worth the effort – I tell you yes.

What do you desire? Money, health, friendships love, success, peace…anything and everything is possible when we drive the engine from inside. Using the Inside/Out model introduced in our February Newsletter our values drive our choices beyond the circumstance. A willingness to open our minds and hearts to new ideas and adapt our choices, makes hard times bearable.

However challenging your vision, find desire, long for the outcome, crave the feeling of having something worthwhile as a part of your life and then enjoy the ride, as best you can.

What do you Desire? How will you know when you find desire? What will it look like

For more information on Forward Effect contact [email protected] or visit, www.forwardeffect.com.

Accountability or Whose fault is it anyway?
The real metal of personal growth is discipline. Discipline is strengthened through (wait for it) accountability. There is no gain without the energy and transformational power of holding oneself accountable or being accountable to those around us. However, when I look at the antonym of accountability I see blameless.

Let’s take the word blameless apart. Blame – triggered by judgement, a make wrong. Blame triggers defensiveness and diminishes are ability to examine what went wrong. Less – reducing the occurrence of something. Blame – less translates to blame yourself less using accountability as a tool for choosing differently.

Conflict, breakdowns, failure, all these are moments for immense and innovative learning. Breakdowns are opportunities for breakthroughs. Saying I want something to change and then doing nothing won’t get it done. Giving yourself permission to be accountable, without judgement or blame can be a powerful tool in achieving your goals.

My mother was fond of saying, “A man full of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds.” Boy was she right. This winter, thanks to Covid and my excellent cooking, I put on more weight than I like. I declared I wanted to lose the weight. Being active was easy, however, those chocolate cookies, cakes and wonderful creamy dishes kept showing up on the table and I – consumed them. Did I drop those pounds, no.

Discipline is how we live out our plans. It is an everyday act of playing the long game. it means looking forward, being adaptable and resisting blame. You know when you feel blamed or are blaming yourself, it’s a life sucker. There are body signals. For me, I begin to emotionally look for a way out, I can feel my face get hot, I am embarrassed, and sometimes my breathing increased. I watch people redden when they feel blamed or are blamed for something.

Remember the Gremlin, you’ll find it in the thick of the plan, gnawing away at your determination, chewing on the soft underbelly of your resistance. Ignore it and stay the course. Pave your path with forgiveness, mercy and selflove, then stay the course.

Discipline like anything else gets stronger the more we use it. I have said this before. Plan your Work, Work your Plan. Build discipline, strengthen resilience and stay your course.

Coming in March: Spring Cleaning, Clearing out the Clutter

“For those who know their values – choices are easy” Webbs Norman
Webbs Norman was a beloved friend of mine. He died several years ago at a ripe age. And I miss him. I love him and return to his words often. I thought of Webbs when writing this post, as we move toward choice.

Nothing grates on me like these words, “I have no choice.” To that I say, we are always at choice, always. I may not always like the choices, yet there they are. It’s how I choose that impacts my life. Below is the Inside/Out Model a structure that is foundational in choosing a life you love. (Fran Fisher)

When I am faced with a choice, it often occurs in the circumstances of life. The outer rim of the model circumstance is where life shows up, job loss, the pandemic, sickness, whatever. When I choose from circumstance, they are in charge of me. Here’s another way. Example – I want to lose weight. Looking at the model start with the small circle, values.

Step 1: What are your values ? Health, Wholeness, Strength, Love
Step Two: What is my Belief/Principles? A Healthy Body supports my success in life. Energy is available when I give up carrying the weight of my life and others. Feeling strong gives me hope and courage to transform my life in any way I want.
Step Three: What will you choose on top of your Values and Principles? The idea of finding a plan that supports your foundational values and beliefs will give you the ability to choose beyond the circumstances. I am in charge of the path I take and the choices I make. Be willing to Fail Fast and correct your course! Remember the vision and values that you use as the foundation of your life. Now make your plan to manage the circumstances.

Remember you’ll wake the gremlin and they will work to stop you, “You never finish, you always quit, why even try, My request – don’t listen to them. The more success you have the louder that voice becomes. Notice it, let it go and stay the course.

Using the Inside/Out Model: Plan you work/Work your plan, Write it down & Journal at least 3x’s a week.
Next Week – Putting it together, Accountability

To Thy Own Self Be True
Discovering the path to my authentic Self took something. The pathway was strewn with boulders, potholes and debris, laid down over years of experience. Often the carnage from my life not only effected the present, it highjacked the future. There is a little snarky creature, waiting inside ready to happily take credit for keeping me and you trapped in a rut – The Gremlin.

The Gremlin is that small whisper whose single focus is to stop us from learning to love ourselves. It’s the fault finder. The gremlin likes status quo energy, dull. Everyone has gremlins and they are persistent and perpetual. Gremlins use language to trap us in self-defeating thoughts and beliefs.

The Gremlin’s partner is ego. Thomas Merton, an early mystic, said this, “From the moment we are born our ego defends its right to be right.” Being right and winning, even when you lose is better than practicing humility, empathy and being vulnerable. Our ego keeps us locked into making ourselves less, thereby reducing our ability to enroll people in our dreams and aspiration, (Dream – Level Two of The Three Levels of Reality.) Our Gremlins are with us every day in every way, big and small. The gremlin whispers “not enough” stories to us. The gremlin lies.

Here’s the thing. We will never erase the gremlin voice, we can manage our gremlin. It’s important for us to find the authentic Self. We are enough, we are up to the quest. Counter the gremlin voice with a different voice, your voice. Remember we waken the gremlin, simply by deciding to love ourselves and take back our life. So, you can see how difficult it is to hold big ideas and take risks with the gremlin shouting in your ear.

Start with small steps, First notice your gremlin voice, what does it tell you? When does it show up? Document the judgements or criticisms your hear. Then replace the gremlin voice with your voice, what do you say to yourself? What new voice shows up and what new stories will it tell you?

Have fun with this…More to come. Next Week choosing from our Values.

Cupid Sling thy Mighty Arrow so that I may find My Love

February is Cupids big day. Shelves of chocolate, candies and cards beckon to us, is your Love worthy of a gift? To whom have you given love? Have they been worthy?

Stop. Let’s start at the beginning. The single most important love interest in your life is you. You are the one deserving of the gift of self-love.

Consider that you cannot give to others what you don’t have. To love and respect another begins with loving and respecting yourself. When growing up, my mother reminded me that loving myself was a self-centered selfish way to see life. Only later did I discover that loving begins with me. A love rooted in charity, forgiveness and compassion is generative, life giving. It took years to realize that the seed of every failure was not fault, merely the action of the adventurer searching for herself.

I forged a relationship to self that was sustained through daily practice.

Take a few minutes to ponder this: In what ways do you understand that Love begins inside you? Think of the ways you where you can love self and discover the importance of knowing you before you know others.

3 Levels of Reality – Part 4 – Fast Fail or What Stops You
Of course you’re going to fail. Anyone who takes risks, has big vision or thinks beyond the possible to the impossible is going to fail – expect it and be ready. Fast failing is letting go of what’s not working, move it out of your space – quickly. So often we are dogged. We keep trying to correct Failures using the same idea or tools that failed before.

The Phrase, “If at first you don’t succeed try ,try, again,” does not mean keep doing the same thing over and over and failing. It means, keep your vision and dream in front of you, and be ready to pivot.. Change is the only tool that triggers change.

Consider that you’re the thing that needs changing, your attitude or energy, your companions or strategy. At the root of this change struggle is attachment. That which we know and are comfortable with. Change only occurs when we feel uncomfortable.

Every month I change something in my space – I make a shift. It triggers a shift in my experience of the space, my thinking and ability to create new ideas. Failing Fast, can put you above the curve and give you an edge in thinking about what your “new box” might look like this year.

DISCLAIMER: Be warned, failing occurs when people take risks. People willing to do the things that stop them, scare them and then doing them anyway while living with the impact. It’s this courage that will propel you into 2021 and beyond. No matter how daunting, there is something thrilling about being courageous and stepping out of the status quo.

When we balance all four levels, not making one more important than the other. It’s important to know your heart because when the plan is hard or falls apart, when you Fail Fast, it’s essence and dream that make the pain possible to bear. You manage because it’s what you believe that gets you through, not what you do.

3 Levels of Reality or Living a Life You Love - Consensus Reality

Consensus reality can be the place where you create the plan that gets you moving forward, on the way to your dream. Maybe it’s a series of tiny steps, not leaps. Starting from Levels One & Two allow you to choose how a plan will look and what you are willing to do to make it happen.

Level Three, Consensus Reality is all about putting feet on your dreams and watching them walk. It’s about your Plan. Your plan is your map.
There’s a saying, “Plan you work, Work your Plan.” You know what the dream is and what it feels like, build your plan around that. 

Take small steps, be strategic, have ways to evaluate your progress and Fast Fails. Yes you heard me right – Fast Fails. That’s for next week. Check you actions each day, mark progress and plan changes. Document, document, document.

For individual consultation contact [email protected] or call 815-404-7246

3 Levels of Reality or Living a Life You Love - Dream

I’m a dreamer. I’m filled with millions of ideas– things I think about. My brain never shuts off. Truthfully it can make me a little crazy. Last week I introduced Level One – Essence. I love this space of feelings, full of dreams and wondrous vision. Thankfully most simply drift off into the ether. Sometimes, though, something sticks. In dream, we invite others to dream with us. We share an idea or plan. Those around us, contribute and the essence takes on texture. It’s here where the dream killers do their best work. I cannot count how many times I have been told to face reality. Or this one, Time to come down to earth. Better yet, It will never happen. The power of dream killers is they often sound like the voice of concern and reason, even love. We listen to them and deny our intuition and desires. However, if we listen deeply to ourselves and our heart and enroll people we trust in conversation, then the possibility of bringing something to life is encouraged.

In Level Two – Dream, Who are you allies? Who listens to you in your life as the possibility you are and respects your talents and gifts? Who are your trusted resources?

See here’s the thing, before you can kill the dream, consensus reality will determine how much you are willing or not willing to put at stake to achieve your dream and we are not there yet. We are still dreaming whatever it is up.

This week write out Level Two - Dream. What will the result be? What difference will this dream make in your life? What does the dream look like? What is the possible impact of the dream for others?

For individual consultation contact [email protected] or call 815-404-7246

3 Levels of Reality or Living a Life You Love - Freedom

In my coaching discipline, there is something called, The Three Levels of Reality. These are the levels that bring everything into existence. The first level is Essence – when you feel something, it’s exciting and intriguing. Level Two is Dream – In this level we engage the other/others. Together words and ideas begin to give texture and energy to the idea and formation begins. And in Level Three – consensus reality.

The Three Levels of Reality work for everything from relationships to business to a purchase or changing a behavior. If we have not discovered the essence and dream of something, the hard work of consensus reality can break us, or contribute to its failure.

2021 looms before us, a blank slate ready to hold our dreams and those dreaded failures. This week I invite you to stand in essence. To discover the feelings and possibilities that wait as a result of this idea. If they fade away let them go and allow space for something else to emerge. Resist holding tightly In January – the First Step to achieving anything – is to find it in your heart. Write it out.

Here is what there is for me. As Suzanne heads to Springfield as the next State Representative in the 66th District, our business, Forward Effect, continues marching towards 2021 without her full energy. In long discussions we decided to transfer ownership to me and she will fade into the background.

The Dream of Forward Effect was modeling that it is possible to live a life you love, no matter your circumstances. The ability of our business to transform from Living Forward to Forward Effect was the result of finding those core values, the seeds of possibility that gave life to our work.

It’s no different in this new iteration – Suzanne fades back and I move forward. That early feeing in essence is still here – the desire to make a difference in the world through the work we do with our clients is steady.

Beginning now, Stand in Level One for the next week, what do you notice?

For individual consultation contact [email protected] or call 815-404-7246

I RESOLVE - 2021 NEW YEAR’S SPECIAL
1 Hour Coaching Session $39.95 per month.

Start the year off differently. Do not let 2020 be a year that broke you. Let it be the year that transformed you.

This year we propose the idea to Resolve for one month at a time, or one week at a time, or one day at a time, and while SMART goals are the way to design action and movement, what if you begin the year by Resolving to be resilient? Resolving to be Present? Then plan your activities from there.

Say goodbye to 2020 and start the new year with intention. I hope you’ll join us!

I RESOLVE - 2021 NEW YEAR’S SPECIAL WEBINAR

2020 presented itself with significant challenges for everyone. The year began with a whisper and ended in a howl. Covid-19 has upended everything, the election had us on the edge and even if we had a plan it’s been filed away in the bottom drawer of whatever place we keep those things we never look at again.

Now the holiday season is upon us – differently. For many of our neighbors, customers and friends, the traditions we cherish, the people we love to gather with and all the sparkle that comes along with celebrating has dimmed.

It’s also the time of the year when we look back and then forward saying the words, I RESOLVE To, and we are truly intent on following through with “our resolutions.” Then comes March and the resolve, dissolves. Not intentionally; rather more like more it simply falls out of existence in our world, the energy that lifted us becomes a faded memory.

This year we propose the idea to Resolve for one month at a time, or one week at a time, or one day at a time, and while SMART goals are the way to design action and movement, what if you begin the year by Resolving to be resilient? Resolving to be Present? Then plan your activities from there.

Start the year off differently. Start the year off with a seasoned, experienced pair of coaches who understand the challenges we all are facing- and yet- determined to live forward into a future that we trust ourselves in, even when we don’t know the outcomes. COVID has changed everything and everyone- do not let 2020 be a year that broke you. Let it be the year that transformed you. Through I RESOLVE, Forward Effect Coaching can help.

WEBINAR DATES:
December 28th from 6:30 pm -7:30 pm
January 6th from 6:30 pm – 7:30 pm

I Resolve Special: $39.95

Check out our 2021 New Year Special at
https://www.forwardeffectcoaching.com/services/2021-new-years-special/ or for more information call 815-608-0252