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30 Day mental cleanse and isolation begins today. No social media, no news, just learning to exist again. Not texting and such, just existing and getting myself back. Things are out of whack for me right now.

See you in April 🖤

Whether we like to political content or not. This sh*t's not going away and I'll make sure that every person sees it as much as fu***ng possible. I am totally ashamed that we're protecting pedophiles in this country. Regardless of who's in charge.

I'm getting bored here. And I don't know how to get you guys more actively involved with the posts and things going on 🙃

I'm going to keep this short because the point isn't to read this. The point is to go do something.

I do things like this for my partner(s). Not because I have to, but, because they deserve it and honestly it feels good to be the person who actually shows up in the small moments. That's the kind of partner I want to be and I think you do too otherwise you wouldn't be here.

Pick one. As soon as you get the chance. Especially if they had a rough day.

-Sneak a handwritten note somewhere they will find it when you are not around. Their bag, their car, their jacket pocket. No texts. Actual pen and paper like you mean it.
-Just show up with their favorite food out of nowhere. No birthday, no anniversary, no reason. That is the reason.
-Do something for them this week that takes something off their plate without being asked. Handle the thing they have been stressed about. Just quietly take care of it.

Go. Then come back and tell me which one you did.

I was hoping to be able to go one day without ice and border patrol being absolute horrendous parts of humanity. Another person dead because of their actions.

Tip 1: Do the small thing nobody asked you to do. Coffee ready before he wakes up. Stopping by her job just because they crossed your mind. Love lives in the quiet moments nobody else sees.
Tip 2: Be present when you're there. Not in the room while your head is somewhere else. Actually there. Phone down. Eyes up. Fully locked in. Your partner knows the difference every single time and they remember it.
Tip 3: Pay attention like it's your job. The person you love is always telling you what they need. Most people are just too distracted to catch it. Be the one who catches it.

This is the work. It's not sexy, it's not complicated.
See you next Wednesday.

Welcome to Toxic Tuesday. Every week I'm handing you the playbook. The actual moves toxic people run. Why? Because you cannot protect yourself from something you don't understand. You cannot recognize a pattern you've never been shown.

Now if you read this and take notes for the wrong reasons. That's on you.

Tip 1: Never define the relationship. Labels are for people who need reassurance. Keep it undefined and you keep the power.

Tip 2: Be completely unavailable until they start pulling away. Then give them just enough to reel them back in. Timing is everything. Too much and you lose your leverage. Just enough and they never leave.

Tip 3: Always be their favorite person and their biggest source of confusion at the same time. That combination is basically a drug. People don't walk away from something they can't figure out.

Tip 4: Be the best they've ever had just inconsistently enough that they spend all their time trying to get back to that version of you. Consistency is overrated. Peaks are what people remember.

These work best when nobody knows what you are to each other. Funny how that works isn't it. Almost like situationships were designed for it.
You're welcome. C U Next Tuesday.

Another ICE murder. Linda Davis. She was left to die for 25 minutes. No aid. No anything. ICE needs to be taken down.

The way I communicate today is a direct result of how badly I failed at it before. I didn't know how to say what I needed so I just shut down. And then I'd wonder why my partner felt shut out. I brought that pattern into every relationship without even realizing it until it blew everything up.

Past hurt has a way of doing that. It doesn't just disappear because you're with someone new. It follows you right into the next relationship and sits down at the table like it lives there. One of our phrases with my partner is: This isn't then and we aren't them. Basically saying that things are different now and we aren't the people we used to be and our partners aren't the partners from the past

The difference now is I catch it. I know where it comes from. And I actually say the thing instead of swallowing it.

What did your last relationship teach you that you carried into your current one? Drop it below.