Flatiron Coffee

It has come to my attention that my previous post was an OLD VERSION of our menu that has since been updated. It’s fine, just think of it as going through a magical transformation after true love’s first kiss.

I’d try to blame it on too many piña coladas, but alas, that excuse won’t work.

NOW, FOR REALSIES, THE NEW MENU!

(Is this how the Gingerbread Man felt? It is hot in here? Just me?)

It’s that time! Did you wake up on the wrong side of the swamp? Don’t worry, Donkey and I will take care of you.

I’ll admit, I got a little unhinged when I was making “All That Glitters is Gold.” It’s a popcorn latte with popcorn seasoning, butterscotch, caramel, and salt. It’s weirdly delicious though. Maybe something that you might judge at first glance and then realize you’ve been wrong about all along.

CHECK OUT OUR NEW SHREK MENU. And remember: ogres are like espresso shots; they’ll get you hyped and are fairly aggressive. No, that’s not right. They are intense and tannic. Nope, still wrong.

THAT’S RIGHT. Ogres are like espresso shots because they have layers! Thank you, I’ll be here all night.

After almost 30 years, Gretchen, our old espresso bar, finally pulled her last shot of espresso.

Just in time for the holidays, we’re introducing Francesca, our new top-of-the-line La Marzocco.

She’s lean, she’s mean, she’s a latte-making machine.

What’s more terrifying than staring down the open maw of the end of another year? Flatiron Coffee’s holiday drink menu!

My favorite right now is the Gizmocha. Inspired by the classic movie GREMLINS, this Dubai chocolate flavored drink is quite the keeper. If you don’t feed it after midnight, that is.

It’s that time! No, not pumpkin spice time (though there is a wonderfully balanced twist on a pumpkin latte in this new menu)!

It’s time to PARRY IT!

Grab your expedition friends and venture forth, filled with both ennui and delicious, delicious coffee.

For those who come after!

You are my cold brew
It tastes so very true
Believe when we say
You want it that way

Off of our new boy band-themed menu: BREW KIDS ON THE BLOCK

We got your Hansons and your BoyzIIMen and your Beach Boys and even yes, your BTS(es).

My favorite (and since I make the menus, I put it first) is UP ALL NIGHT by One Direction. We put some sweetened condensed milk in our smooth house-made cold brew and poured it all over ice with a milk of your choice. It’s dreamy and it’s fresh—just like a boy band.

FENTON FENTON OH JESUS CHRIST FEEEEENTOOOOON

That desperation? Of watching your dog run after a pack of beasts, knowing you’ll never catch up? That’s what we were channeling when we made this vintage internet meme theme menu.

Personally, I think we knocked it out of the park. Time to celebrate with Strong Bad, a baseball bat, and a dancing baby.

We present to you…CHAI HARD, our holiday drink menu. There’s lots of helpful advice in this selection that will allow you to navigate an estranged partner’s holiday party so we suggest you comb through it carefully. Y’know, like a detective would on their day off.

It’s that time! We have a new lineup of drinks for your holiday pleasure and you’ll never guess what inspired us…

Mr Frodo, if I take one more step, I’ll be the furthest from home I’ve ever been!

Not to worry, Samwise! Flatiron Coffee has you covered with our new cozy LotR inspired drinks. They’ll make you feel like you’ve never left the Shire.

I have been particularly enamored with the SECOND BREAKFAST, a French toast latte with light espresso. Merry and Pippin agree so now there’s a consensus.

You may not want to set the world on fire, but these drinks just might! Off our new summer menu, I present PEP-BOY, our themed additions.

I am enamored with FEO, FUERTE, Y FORMAL. It’s a salted caramel latter with a twist: we add coconut and use our light roast espresso, which is currently a Sumatran from with plum and cedar notes.

If you’ve been feeling more like a ghoul than human, this might just be for you.

Farewell and adieu to you, ladies of Spain
For we’ve received orders to sail to ol’ Flatiron
And we may only get their JAWS drinks
For a limited amount of time

Fair Ladies of Spain is a vanilla and oak barrel latte, in honor of Captain Quint and his shark barrels. Don’t let this one drag you under, though; it’s subtle, complex, with a deep flavor. For grizzled palates only!