Weasel Collider

A big shoutout to Patrick O'Brien’s girlfriend Mia, who spent our band practice “reading” instead of acknowledging the sick jam the Weasel boys were ripping. Reading, writing, we don’t understand any of it. Words? Dont you mean… emojis? Like this one!

👁️👄👁️

Hahaha! I don’t know how to process anything that doesn’t conform to societal beauty standards, so I’m laughing at it!! This is a good lesson for children to learn and is peak humor.

Well, the Weasels hope the book was a real page turner, like Twilight: Eclipse was to Jacob stans.

Come see Mia “listening” to even more fun and engaging jams at Reading Porchfest on June 22 at 53 Chequesset Rd! Be there at 1:30 PM or be as square as someone who “learns from the wisedom and experience of others through literature,” or whatever that fu***ng means!

Meet the Weasels:

Next up: Adam Bergeron. The heart and soul of the Weasels, this dude, and I’m being deadass, RIPS sax. DUDE, on dead fu***ng dogs I watched him take his sax in his bare hands and RIP it apart while his fingers were literally dripping blood. BRO. It was fu***ng wild man. Sometimes, when we remember that day, we get attacked with this internal sense of panic. We talked to some emotionally guarded, straight, white men about it, so we’ve been holding all of our emotion inside like any good alpha male would! Anyways, the shear musical talent this fu**er possesses is like if Bill Clinton had sexual relations with John Coltrane in the Oval Office and while Paul Desmond watched, and they produced a child goated with the sax.

Fun fact: Adam is also a phenomenal singer, whose vocals on Mississippi Queen make me question why he does not sing more. Should Adam brutally murder and dismember the rest of the Weasels and assume total control? Like this post to cast your vote for Murder or use the Heart Reaction for brutal dismembering!

Cast your vote when you see this smooth-ass motherfu**er at Porchfest on May 11 at 127 Hillsdale Rd!!

Meet the Weasels:

Next up: Angelo Cerbone. The front man of the Weasels, this dude fu**in RIPS guitar man. This guy can also hold a fu***ng tune, dude. His voice is so sick, we call him Angelic Angelo. We all definitely call him this in real life all the time, and hope you haunt him with this nickname until he finally has that mental breakdown he’s been putting off. Like, he wants to just let it out, but also it’s like, a timing thing. He doesn’t have any current PTO available, and like, he’s talked to his manager but it just isn’t gonna work til next fall. (Me too, brother.)

Fun fact: Angelo often uses words unbecoming of a debonair man such as himself, like damn and also f**k? We do not approve of this language.

Come see the wild-ass motherfu**er scream “Killing in the Name,” at Porchfest on May 11 at 127 Hillsdale Rd!!

Coming soon to a Porch near you…