Flour Child

It’s almost been a year. A year since I closed the doors of my sweet bakery. A year since I decided to choose me. A year since I experienced two of the biggest losses of my life. One by choice and one very much not…. So much has changed. So much growth has been made. So many lessons have been learned… it’s almost been a year… and when it has I will have more thoughts to share. Thank you all for the never ending love you have shown me. I appreciate it more than you know.

Showing you the world is my favorite thing 🌿 My little Bee is the best travel partner. She is great on road trips, loves camping, is an incredible hiker, and only recently found out she had a bit of a big horned sheep fear. She has been my absolute rock in life and I am so obsessed with this sweet little dog.

It was time for me to start living my life KNOWING everything would work out. The universe has weird ways of helping you get to where you are supposed to be. At the beginning of this year I felt so empty. Like I had lost something that I would never be able to regain, but slowly I started learning how to fill my own cup. Eventually it was clear to the top, filled with adventures, friendship, laughs, self love. I finally realized that I don’t want people in my life to help me keep my cup full. I want them there to overflow it. I want them there because they bring extra joy, more love, even greater happiness. I’ve learned a lot this year about myself. I learned that I am capable of so much more than I ever imagined. I learned that I am strong and resilient. That I am kind and love both myself and others deeply. I learned that I find kindness, trust, and hope first. I don’t live negatively anymore. I live knowing that if I lead with positivity, if I lead with a vibrant outlook things will work out just as they are supposed to. Most importantly, on this last trip especially, I learned my worth. I am deserving of amazing, incredible things. I am deserving of so much MORE. I realized that this life is beautiful. If can be painful and hard but at the end of the day it’s so much more vibrant because I’m living. Don’t wait to have someone by your side to start living your life, to start loving, to start experiencing…. Time doesn’t wait, so don’t waste it ❤️ #solotravel #solotraveller #vanlife #solofemaletraveler #traveldog #vanlifedogs #travlerdog #dogsofinstagram #retreiversofinstagram #travelwithbee #glaciernationalpark #banffnationalpark #lakelouise #travelblogger

Taking my dog to places she’s never been: 📍Lake Louise addition 🌿 Few things: we hiked the Plain of Six Galciers to go to the tea house and then continued on to the glaciers. This is a dog friendly trail, however, it is steep, sometimes you are on a ledge, and the elevation change is pretty large. Do not bring your dogs unless you have plenty of water for both of you, go early in the day to avoid heat, bring p**p bags, and remember you have to pack out any and all trash, even the trash you get from eating or drinking at the tea house Lake Louise: it’s beautiful, the earlier you are there the better because it is CROWDED. People are lined up for their photos, videos, etc. luckily I was there early so was able to get my photos long before people arrived. The upper tea house hike there is hardly anyone. It is a long uphill hike, so we were alone the majority of the way, bring WATER. This time of year there is still snow on some of the trails. Wear good shoes. Offer to pack some trash out from the teahouse to help out! They have to hike everything in that they use/make including 50lb bags of flour. So if you have some space in your bag or can hike with your hands free, offer to hike a small bag of trash out. Most of all, enjoy the beautiful hike. It’s breathtaking, there is something amazing around every corner and the wild flowers covering the mountain sides are just unreal. This entire hike felt like a Wes Anderson film with how vibrantly everything was colored 🌿🌸 Parking: if you plan on brining your personal vehicle the parking lots fill up by sunrise. SO the best plan is to book a shuttle. Shuttle spots open up two days in advance. You can also hire a private shuttle which is about $25 per person. Most private shuttles will also allow your dogs. You can also park and hike up but the hike up to lake Louise from the visitor center area will take about an 1.5. The tea house hike with stops, eating, etc takes about 5 hrs round trip so if you plan on hiking up from the bottom it would be about 8 hrs. #solotravel #solotraveller #vanlife #solofemaletraveler #traveldog #vanlifedogs #travlerdog #dogsofinstagram #retreiversofinstagram #travelwithbee

Where I was vs where I am. 186 days ago. 6 months and 3 days. Boy have things changed. My mom told me today… “Aunt Wendi noticed” and I said “noticed what” ….. she went on to tell me that my Aunt noticed that I was happy again, she said “that’s my Emilee” and for the longest time I couldn’t visually see the difference. I could see all the weight I lost, I could see how much therapy was helping me grow, I could see all of my physical progress, and bits and pieces of my mental progress as well. Happy now and that’s huge. But when I looked in the mirror I couldn’t see what everyone else did. Until I put these two pictures side by side. I don’t even know who that first girl is anymore. I look at her and I feel so much hurt for her. I feel sadness and pain for what she was going through. But I also look at her and I feel grateful as f**k that behind those sad, hollow eyes, there was a girl who was so damn strong. A girl who was never going to give up on herself and was never going to abandon herself. I shed a lot of tears over these past 186 days. Not for the bakery closing. I thought the tears that were shed were mainly for my (ex)fiancé leaving, but the farther I get away from this I realize that a huge part of it was me grieving myself. A version of me that would never see the light of day again. A version of me that worked her ass off to create something incredible in Flour Child. A version of me that gave everything she had to that 800 sq ft store all while losing herself with every macaron she baked. I am thankful for her. So thankful for her. She allowed me to buy a home at 22. She allowed me to buy a car and my dream bus. She allowed me to travel and save. I am thankful for her ambition and drive. And I am thankful for me and my ability to see that it was time to let her go. As I look at these pictures and these two women, one I don’t recognize and one I know better than I ever thought I would, I can’t help but smile. I am so incredibly grateful for what was but I am even more grateful for what will be. ❤️

What a whirlwind this year has been. I joke constantly with my clients that the first part of this year felt like the universe was playing a really bad practical joke on me. While I’m still not 100% sure that that isn’t the case, I feel like I’m finally in such a better space. While the hurt and sadness still makes an appearance I am now able to sit with it and let it exist while it needs too and then move along. Through all of this one thing that has remained constant is my hope. My hope for new beginnings, my hope for fresh starts, my hope for a better and brighter tomorrow, my hope that each day will lead to an even better night, my hope that I will see the world, my hope that I will never stop loving as deeply as I do. I consistently have hope for myself and the bright future full of love and adventure that’s ahead of me. Do I get scared that it might not turn out the way I think or with who I think? Of course! But I’ve learned to embrace what the universe has in store for me. What’s meant for me will come easily, peacefully, and in abundance. So don’t mind me while I sit here with my head phones, planning my next trip and blasting Find Yourself 🌿

We went to today to snag some plants and of course Bee had to join. I always get so many compliments on how good she is. I can leave her at the end of an isle and go grab a plant and she just sits and waits for me. To say I’m obsessed with this dog might be an understatement 😂

I have never been more thankful for an animal in my entire life. If it weren’t for this sweet pup, I don’t know how the last 5 months would have gone for me. She is so kind hearted, loving, and somehow always knows when I need her to come lay all of her weight on my chest. Is it weird to say that a dog is boosting my standards in life? The way she looks at me is with so much love and admiration. I am the most important thing to her. I aspire to look at myself in that way and I’m getting closer each and every day. I think we could all benefit from loving like Bee 🌿 I’m so excited to have her by my side through these adventures. As we head off together into the unknown ❤️ my future may be unknown and things may be uncertain but one thing that I do know is as long as this sweet dog is by my side I have someone who loves me endlessly ❤️