Dr. Leah Katz

For whoever needs a little (affirming) reality check:

Your impact is far greater than you give yourself credit tor.

Every smile, compliment, kind gesture, conversation, showing up for yourself and modeling self care, and so on, COUNTS far more than you’ll ever know.

Sending you love!

Leah 💗

Whose influence can you accept today?

Leah 💗

You get to choose what you share, who you share it with, who you spend time with, and how much of it they get.

You don’t deserve to be judged for your choices or for being you.

Pay attention to who judges you. Give yourself permission to set boundaries that feel protective.

For example, if you have a family member that judges you for certain parenting choices, you can choose not to talk about parenting with that person.

An important distinction is that JUDGEMENT is different than FEEDBACK.

Sometimes the people close to us have important feedback about blind spots we might not be seeing.

And that feedback can be hugely helpful (albeit sometimes hard to hear 👂🏻).

Judgment has a different quality to it altogether. It’s harsher, not forward moving, and often induces shame (ie, there’s something wrong with you).

Let me know in the comments if this resonates!

Leah 💗

Note to self…

If you want to give your kids a priceless gift, model both healthy conflict AND repair for them.

Many parents know the first part- modeling healthy conflict, but miss the second part- also modeling the repair for their kids.

You can do this organically:

If your kids witnessed a miss between you and your partner, make a point of doing a quick repair in front of them, too.

Not only does this give them a felt sense of safety TODAY, it teaches them invaluable skills for their future.

Do you do this? Let me know in the comments!

Leah 💗

I was at the bagel shop the other day and there was an older woman being rude to the people on the line and to the person taking her order.

It got me thinking.

How easy it is (and natural!) to get into a personal narrative of someone else’s bad behavior.

Things like: how dare they act like this? Why is she being so rude to me (or them)? Or even- did I do something wrong?

Here’s our ever gentle reminder that other people are always fighting their own internal battles that we know nothing about.

Whether it’s current stresses, or difficult things they are carrying with them from their past.

This is always a helpful reminder in stepping away (and out of) someone’s bad behavior: most of the time it really has nothing to do with you.

Now, this isn’t about excusing bad behavior or letting people off the hook.

It’s about not letting their behavior distract you.
Maybe even bring up some compassion (always a good thing), and help you move on with your day.

What do you think here? Let me know how this lands in the comments!

Leah 💗

This can sound like:

“I can see where you are coming from.”

“I understand that this is important to you.”

“I understand that you are angry/sad/upset and that’s okay.”

You don’t have to agree with why they are feeling that way and it doesn’t have to make sense to you to validate it.

When both parties understand this, the relationship shifts.

Why?

Because there’s no greater feeling than feeling seen.

Would love your thoughts here!

Leah 💗

Our nervous system likes things to match.

When our actions don’t match our beliefs, we’re in a state of dissonance which is not only mentally stressful and takes us away from living our most me meaningful lives, it dysregulates our nervous systems.

Authenticity- matching what you think/feel to what you say/do is CONGRUENT, which feels regulating.

How can you bring more authenticity to your life today? Let me know in the comments!

Leah 💗

I wish more people knew this, and that we normalized the work that often comes up when we’re adults if we didn’t have caregivers model healthy relationships for us as children.

Things like setting healthy communication norms, emotional regulation norms, and how to show up for each other, are often missing when you didn’t grow up with parents who modeled this for you.

If you weren’t modeled healthy relationships growing up, there’s a good chance your barometer for what’s healthy or ‘normal’ is off.

Knowing there’s work to be done not only mentally prepares you, it makes you feel less alone, less like there is something wrong with you (it’s not your fault. You just don’t have the blueprint) and more empowered that you can absolutely teach yourself to attach securely to the people in your life as an adult.

It takes work, intention, self compassion, and patience. But you can absolutely do it.

What are your thoughts here?

Leah 💗