Sitko Agency

You know you are working in the right place when you read on a work community board that an agent just got their first death claim (for life insurance) and they are asking what do you send to help support the family. So many good suggestions like make sure the paperwork is completed correctly so it goes quickly, door dash gift cared because grieving people forget to eat, fuel gift cards because they maybe driving a lot to support one another, check in with them later when more support is needed. I love that the people at the company that I work at have just as big of a heart as I do.

On the days that I feel discontented and struggle, I refocus and remember to count my blessings. I am often reminded in life how fortunate I am despite my struggles. It doesn't discount my feelings when times are tough but it does help me put things in perspective. It helps to limit how long, that I sit in the suck.

On our company meeting this afternoon, we heard more about how Western North Carolina was impacted by Helene.

The headquarters is in Swananoa, NC. You may have remembered seeing pictures of homes with water all of the way up to the roof. One of our two buildings there was fully engulfed in water to the roof while the other was less severe. The conference chairs were washed down the block as windows and doors did not hold up to the water pressure.

The founders of our company live in the area and have the financial benefits of running a company. They have been active in the rebuilding efforts of the town including providing physical funding, orchestrating relief efforts and getting their hands dirty to clear trees to open roads. These wonderful leaders were already working on building a sense of community in the town which is why they created a non profit to support that cause. It pivoted to provide relief after the storm.

They shared that on their way to work, they passed tents where people were living. Still in living in the midst of a natural disaster, they talked about being prepared for the the unexpected. They did not think their area was at risk for a natural disaster. The conversation flowed into ways to pivot when bad things happen on the business side of things.

The ironic thing is that is exactly when the company specialized in providing for people. We offer life insurance policies that often have living benefits (which are financial back up plans for you when you are alive) in addition to the death benefit.

If you can, please help the areas still working on recovering from the flooding and appreciate the good things of life.

Something keeps coming up in conversation for me lately....its how when you have a bad experience, your opinion about similar things is already tainted.

Since learning about how our brain and our body work to keep us safe, it makes sense to me. Our brain is always assessing are we safe or unsafe....and it determines this based upon the information that our nervous system send to it. Our body sends about 80% of the information to the brain and the brain communicates the other 20%. So, you might be wondering how the brain makes sense of what the body sends to it. We come pre-programmed by our genetics....grandma is afraid of spiders because she got bit..spiders=unsafe/ grandpa got up early and listened to the birds as he began to work his beloved farm=safe. Then, we learned things in the womb and in early childhood...fell off the slide...high up=unsafe....mama giggles and gives me hugs....giggles=safe. And then we keep making new ones as we go in life and our subconscious often takes over and so we don't even remember the experiences that created the programs sometimes.

So, that's why a bad experience can sour a whole bunch of similar things for us. Our body experiences the signs that are similar and then suddenly we get a sense that this isn't such a good idea. And we just don't like something even though we don't know why.

It's a system that's meant to protect us but sometimes it goes a bit overboard. Our bodies can't tell what experiences in our world are life or death and what is simply preference.

I realized that I had this experience with insurance before I became an advisor.

I am not easy to anger and don't use bad language very much if ever. I had just gotten a new job and my doctor was not covered by my new insurance plan. So, I just chose a close doctor....now, this will show how ancient I am. When it came time to use the doctor they assigned as my primary, I looked her up in the phone book....remember those? Well, this particular doctor had been part of a larger practice and since the phone book was printed a few months prior, had moved out and opened her own solo practice. I did not know this and called the number listed in the phone book. I made an appointment, went there and had the appointment. When I gave them my insurance card, they saw the problem. They told me to call the insurance company and change my primary to them retroactively.

So, I called as soon as I got home and explained everything to the person. They told me that they could not change the doctors and I needed to pay for the appointment out of pocket. After going back and forth, explaining that I had not used the insurance yet, had no history with either doctor and it was just a phone number in the phone book issue, they were still unwilling to change it. I was shocked when I heard, "prick" pop out of my mouth....and suddenly it could be changed.

To be honest, that made me angrier because it just reinforces mean and rude behavior to get what you need.

There are oodles of similar stories about health insurance within my family that fit in along the same lines.

So, when I became an adult, I got the life insurance that the credit union and my employers provided. But, I did not seek out finding a professional to get some life insurance that also built cash value and you could take out a loan against if you needed it.

I didn't want to talk to a person who I thought that I would need to insult to do what I needed and what was reasonable.

Later, down the line, I am regretting listening to the programming of my nervous system and not exploring it more.

My family's life would have been much easier if we had learned that even though my brother had cancer in his infancy, there were policies that would have been available to him. It would have helped pay his final expenses and given us a cushion to help care for his son.

It would have been helpful for several members of my family during serious illnesses to have something with living benefits which are opportunities to access money to help get you through health challenges while you are still alive. Some even waiver payments if you are unemployed so you don't loose your policy if you loose your job.

And the last thing that made me soo annoyed was that I thought that all insurance was ultimately a rip off. I mean how much money I paid for my health insurance(plus employer contributions) and car insurance was so much greater than what I actually used.

So, why have another bill that I pay into and won't actually use?

Well, here's why, all of us will eventually need to have our final expenses paid for and 6 months to cover expenses to give your family time to grieve and take care of your stuff. If you have that much saved, great! If you don't, then maybe you should do something about that.

I am going to be straight forward with you and share that a term policy could be another one of those insurances that you don't use. You can get a lot for a specified amount of time and then it ends but its at a cheaper rate.

A permanent policy will be there when you need it as long as you keep it in place by keeping up with the payments. There are many different types, its best to get with a professional and find one that best matches your needs and what you will qualify for.

And here's another thing...if you are young and healthy, you get the best rates. I thought, that's where they get ya. So, a few weeks ago, I did the math and you save a huge chunk of money getting a policy young. If you want to see the math, message me and I will send you the numbers.

Lastly, because this has become a long monologue that I am sure you will tire of reading as much as I am tiring from writing....

Financial advisors will guide you to get a term policy and invest the rest. This is what is best as you have the possibility of making more money. Yes, you can use a financial advisor or study the market on your own and come out better. I think this is spot on advise for some and terrible for others....here's why.

Let's say that there is this car that's a great price but there are little quirks about it. A mechanic can easily tweak the quirks and keep the car running smoothly. A person who is not at all mechanical will have a great deal of issues and end up spending a lot of money on getting the quirks fixed. Therefore, the great price is no longer a great price.

The same can be said for investing. You don't need to be an expert but you do need to be knowledgable enough to know if they are doing a good job. If you know that, this is not something that you will do, a permanent life insurance policy is a good option for you.

One of the nice things about having a policy, is that you and your loved ones know exactly what that money is meant to do for you. Sometimes with investments especially if you become ill or need to go into care, things can be rerouted in ways that you did not intend.

Since having these conversations, I am more aware of how many things I have categorized as not good after 1 bad experience.

I'm curious, how did you learn about how to plan for your retirement? HR, a professional, classes, books?

Work worry-
When someone cancels their appointment to set up a life insurance policy. I pray nothing happens to them until we can reschedule. It's happened to colleagues and is heartbreaking. The last hurricanes have shown us how quickly lives can be turned upside and even end prematurely.

Things you might not know.....

It's best to get life insurance while you are young. The rates are lowest and you end up saving money over the lifetime of the policy. (I was skeptical as I thought the lower rate ended up adding up to be comparable to what you'd pay short term. It's not even close).

Having life insurance at work is a catch 22. Since it's a group plan, you can save a lot of money and get a lot of coverage for a low price. The issue is that once we leave that job, the policy does not follow you. You then need to get a new policy when you retire. It is more costly due to age and can even be out of reach due to health. Many would benefit from getting a policy through work and get a policy that follows you, no matter where you work while you are young. You end up saving money and you and your family are well protected.

If you are a stay at home parent or don't bring in an income, it doesn't make sense to get a policy. That's not exactly true especially if you are a caregiver or home school your children. You could benefit from a life insurance policy that includes living benefits. These provide a back up plan if you become seriously ill and if you pass away by providing funds to pay for someone to do the unpaid job that you were doing.

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Do you know what you have?

When my mom was selling light plate covers, many people wanted to buy one. They would stand there in the booth flabbergasted because they didn't remember how many switches were on the light switches that they use everyday.

I find the same is true for life insurance. Many people are not sure about what they have. Even fewer people take the time to sit down and plan what they really need, what they qualify for and what they can afford. Between those 3 spots is your sweet spot.

I'd be happy to help. At the least, I hope that I inspire you to go in your files, take a look at what you have, read the fine print, and take out a piece of paper. On that paper, please write why you purchased the policy, what is meant to be used for and who should do what with it and when. Many times, we communicate this with our significant other but not to the secondary beneficiaries. Write it out and slide it in their with the policy so it's set for when someone needs it. Include your advisor's name and contact information on there so they know who to contact.

We do the above in my unpacking the policy appointment.

Recipe for making your dreams come true:

1. Spend time visualizing what your day would look when they do come true.
2. Do the things that you would do if already have today.

If you only know me virtually, you might be surprised to learn that in person, I am quiet and prefer not to share much about myself and my life.

That all changed when I learned that my family most likely had been affected by PANS/PANDAS. We use alternative health modalities that focus upon the whole body verses a diagnosis, labs and symptoms.

I was determined to spread the word about this illness. Here I was a special education teacher having worked with people with disabilities since I was 18 and had a graduate degree in positive behavioral supports and yet, I did not know about this illness. I was compelled to do something about this! I was so fortunate to find professionals who guided without judgement and family & friends who supported me.

My personality is always hopeful, seeing the gifts that challenges gave and feeling grateful for the small things on the hardest days. This illness made it very hard for me to remain myself as it taxes your nervous system. If it weren’t for my amazing supportive family, friends and professionals, I know that I would not have been able to have gotten to this point where PANs is not the focus of every moment of the day.

In recent years, PANS symptoms healed but we were left with deep scars that needed healing. I have been focused upon healing the scars and bringing purpose to my pain.

I have dreamt for many years about having a non-profit to support people like me. People who want to or need to heal with holistic modalities. Regrettably, funds often run out or the option is not even able to be considered. Respite is nearly impossible for many families. There is a non-profit that offers low cost retreats for families but I was unable to attend because no one was available to offer respite. I find this so frustrating. Because I needed to focus upon healing the scars and exposures to water damaged buildings, I have not been able to work towards making this dream become a reality.

In my experience as a sibling of a child with cancer, a daughter of individuals with Lyme, Special Education Teacher, Behavioral Therapist, caregiver of someone with Down syndrome, aunt of one with ADHD, as a solo mom who has migraines, allergies, extreme sensitivities & mold sensitivity and finally PANS, all families who have a member who has a disability, illness or trauma experience need support.

I am done waiting for the perfect time to make this happen. I have interacted with so many people who need this now more than ever.

Families who are exhausted and have children who have suffered all of their life with this illness and now are adults with adult sized challenges.

Families who have many children and are trying to balance a disability with the other children’s needs in an effort not to create a glass child.

Families who can barely take a breath and care for themselves because the caregiving takes every moment of their day.

Solo parent families who are exhausted with no hope of relief in sight.

Families who are terrified and waiting on the results of the next test, the next treatment, the next approval by insurance.

So, I have decided that now is the time.

My first phase is to set up what I need to create a non-profit and obtain the education, credentials, legal documents, fundraising and support people. I also have been offering families a framework that I created to calm your nervous system so that everyone heals or stays healthy in a beta test model.

Next, I would like to build a strong fundraising program. In addition to providing grants to families, I would like to create a turnkey framework to support families to do some fundraising on their own. It is my hope that we would foster a pay it forward culture in which families that we help return in the future and help to fund others in the future.

Siblings in these situations are often overlooked. If you have every heard of the term glass child, this is when the healthy (or healthier) children become almost invisible because the needs of the ill child or children overtake the family’s focus. Families need resources and support to be proactive in supporting siblings.

I would love to create communities where we can make a holistic lifestyle simple. Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could pick up our children from day care, school or activities from the same location where we see a holistic provider, pick up natural remedies, purchase food from local farmers, grab take out and purchase household items that support a clean lifestyle.

I dream of providing resources for families impacted by toxic mold who often have to start from scratch and leave most of their belongings behind as they try to find a new safe mold free home. Healing from mold is complex and can take a long time for some. It’s exhausting and literally drains every bit of resource and energy. I would love to help families find new safe homes and provide grants for healing.

In the future, I hope plan to study different modalities and even attend naturopathic med school. This would enable me to truly understand how different modalities work. I hope to be able to offer ways to guide families in selecting what modalities match their needs.
This resource is needed as there are not many objective resources for information.

And so, I need your help to get started….

I have partnered with Better World to help me fundraise start up costs for creating Paths to Healing Foundation!

To start, I have created a very short 50/50 Raffle Giveaway Contest. We will be giving away half of whatever is raised this week to one lucky winner. Maybe you will win some cash to help with that back to school shopping, get that thing that you have been wanting to buy but it’s out of the budget or even start Christmas shopping early! I hope to be able to get the basics to start up taken care of with this contest.

I have also created an option to offer ongoing sponsors. I am working on some great ways to say thank you to those who step up to become the founding donors of the foundation. I will be sharing those things in future posts.

You will get a receipt for your records from Better World. Once we receive it, I will share our id number for tax purposes and the receipts from Better World will be updated.

Links to both options are in the comments.

I am so excited for how this is going to impact families and future generations.

Thank you for reading this and thank you in advance for your support.