Amber Cooley, LMFT

This!

Free access to two mental health mobile apps for anyone who lives, works, or goes to school in Berkeley. Headspace and myStrength. This is a great free resource!

Berkeley – Help@Hand Previous Next Berkeley Mental Health Technology Project Berkeley is proud to be a part of the [email protected] project: a statewide collaborative of 14 counties and cities in California that share a common goal of improving the mental health of Californian’s by using technology and programs to i...

Let’s Play!

“Play is the infinite testing ground for creativity.

It provides space to test new solutions. When kids play, they're exploring the world. They're looking at what works and what doesn't without having to be practical. It involves physical, cognitive, and emotional development, but it is intimately and intricately connected with creativity, daring, boldness, and risk-taking.

The importance of play doesn’t end when childhood ends. Sure, we can engage in play as adults because it’s healthy, because it releases endorphins, and so on. But that’s kind of like saying that one should have s*x because it burns calories. Just like s*x, playing as adults is about pleasure, connection, creativity, fantasy—all the juicy parts of life we savor. Play is the pleasure of being inventive, mischievous, imaginative, and trying something new.

Why do we play? Because it helps us grow—and because it’s fun.”
-Esther Perel

Esther Perel My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Play

Ego love is fear based.

We can have ego love with friends, family, or partners.

In this state we believe someone can (and should) meet all our needs. We project our unresolved trauma, try to control, + unconsciously shame ourselves.

You’ll know if a relationship is ego based if you feel drained after interactions. Or fearful to speak truths due to reactions.

Authentic love lacks conditions. You’ll feel free to express yourself + your boundaries. You feel free to clearly communicate your needs. There is mutual respect + admiration, even within conflict.

During my own awakening, I had some heartbreaking realizations around how many of my relationships were ego based. I had been practicing self witnessing + saw how my own ego had been involved. Then, I felt so much resistance connecting with these people.

I’d make excuses. Or I’d lie.

Anything to avoid seeing the relationships I had manifested. That’s important to understand: our relations mirror our conditioning + our current level of consciousness.

As we do the work, our relationships will shift. They’ll change. We may clear people from our lives + attract new people within them.

Letting go is part of our journey. Receiving new is a part of our journey.

How have your relationships changed as you do the inner work?

Feeling grateful for the profound growth I get to witness in those doing the hard work! It’s all just so damn beautiful ❤️

Grief is not a linear process. It can feel messy and unpredictable. Grief is not something to be fixed or a feeling you can will yourself to the other side of. It is a process that you must move through rather than around. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate these changing tides.

Free offering from Esther Perel! Last day to sign up is today, 5/19. Great for singles and couples.

The Art of Foreplay - A Free 7-Day Challenge by Esther Perel The Art of Foreplay is a free week-long challenge that includes 7 days of short audio messages from Esther and simple exercises to help you practice cultivating pleasure for its own sake.

We are saddened to hear about the passing of beloved friend, therapist, and thinker, Dan Wile, Ph.D.

He believed that when couples had problems it was because the individuals had lost their voice and the couple had lost their connection. With that understanding, he developed Collaborative Couple Therapy.

With Dan’s vision, therapists were given the tools to speak from the heart for each individual to help express their longings, losses, fears, and desires. Therapists all over the world use Dan Wile’s techniques to step in and speak as if they are the partner in pain, so the pain can be expressed in a heartfelt way rather than as attack or blame. We affectionately call this technique “The Dan Wile."

Many have been touched by Dan's work and we are thankful to have known such an innovator in couples therapy.

That Discomfort You’re Feeling Is Grief The coronavirus pandemic has led to a collective loss of normalcy.