Heart In Mind

It's September again which means it's Su***de Prevention and Awareness Month.

This year, I want to share some of my more candid reflections about su***de and su***de prevention.

As a therapist for estrangement, I've worked with many individuals who have struggled with immense pain and subsequent suicidal thoughts/ideation tied to unrealized relationships--whether they just never took form or they did but it became unhealthy and damaging to the individuals' sense of self.

As a fellow human-being, I've also experienced as much so I know on a deep level the felt experience of this type of pain.

In this post, I highlight some of the lessons I've learned/relearned/unlearned about su***de throughout the years.

Please feel free to share any lessons you've learned in the comments or any questions/thoughts about what I shared.
***deawareness ***deprevention ***deawrenessmonth ***depreventionmonth

Here are some recent themes that have come up for me, as a therapist for estrangement and fellow human-being trying to navigate this life.

Here are a few more things that are "kinda chic" 🙂

Which ones connect with you?

Receiving or not receiving healthy parenting has ripple effects.

It is not a small thing and not something you "get over" simply with time/simply when you become an adult.

In these posts, I share some of the effects that healthy parenting can have on you...And if you didn't receive healthy parenting, I hope these posts can help to contextualize why you may be struggling in the ways that you may be...it's not a character flaw. It is a predictable outcome born out of circumstances.

As a therapist for adults navigating estrangement from parents and other loved ones, I make sure that I contextualize your struggles and current experiences within the larger contexts/history of your life, including your experiences growing up with your parents/caregivers. I also support you in developing and accessing understanding and compassion towards yourself.

I empathize with the fact that this is not easy and not something that can be rushed/reached easily...and, at the same time, I know it is possible.

Father's Day just passed...and so has Mother's Day.

These holidays can be especially challenging for people who are estranged from their parents.

This year, I wanted to highlight the unique challenge of not having had absent parents, but also not having had present parents.

Something I've noticed in my work as a therapist who works with adults who have been estranged from their parents/caregivers/other family members is that there seems to be less attention/care paid to the actual act of parenting/caregiving (and more attention/care paid to the title of being a parent/caregiver).

In this post, I share a bit more about some of the aspects of healthy parenting..the act of parenting/caregiving.

Are there other things you would add to the list?

Hi all! This post is a little different than my usual content. A colleague of mine/PsyD student is currently looking for people to participate in her research study.

The research study is seeking to understand the experiences of individuals whose parents divorced during their childhood and who currently have little to no relationship with their father.

Additional details about participant eligibility and the study are included here.

If you personally do not meet the study requirements, you are welcome to share the flyer with someone you know who might qualify and be interested in participating.

It’s the last day of May today and before the month is over, I wanted to honor Mental Health Awareness Month which is in May.

This year on Mental Health Awareness Month, I’ve been thinking a lot about how mental health/mental health care has been increasingly commodified, devalued, and treated as a luxury all at the same time.

Mental healthcare is increasingly treated as something that’s “nice” to have rather than essential…and I can’t help but think of how this is tied to the fact that our perceived value as human-beings has been stripped down to mostly/only what we can produce/serve to the richest, select few in our world.

Optimal mental health and optimal mental health care is essential though. It’s what makes us go from just being alive to living. It’s what allows us to feel and think freely and deeply. It’s what allows us to connect with other people.

Honoring mental health/mental healthcare should not just be artificially honored through fluffy, assuring words during one month. If we want to truly honor it, I think our world would benefit from wider, systemic changes that actually show that we value the full richness of a person’s being, which includes their mental well-being. Towards that end, one immediate thing we can each do is take care of ourselves and one another in whatever way we are able.

What could that one thing be for you?

It's Asian American, Native Hawaiian, and Pacific Islander Heritage month again!

This year, this month: I wanted to highlight the feelings of "in-between, not enough, not fitting in, of being different" that many AANHPI may relate to.

Historically, these groups have been casted as the "Perpetual Foreigner" in many parts of the world, including the United States. It can seem like no matter what you do, it's never enough...you don't belong anywhere. The pull towards doing anything/everything to fit in can be especially enticing.

It's no wonder that many people from the AANHPI community struggle with issues related to their identity, self-esteem/self-worth, burn-out, and relationships. How can you feel solid in who you are and your value if you're constantly being told implicitly or explicitly that it's not enough? How can you build relationships when you don't know who truly values you for all of who you are?

As a therapist for AANHPI folks, these are questions I often help my clients navigate. You don't have to shrink in order to sustain community.

P.S. Each of our lived experiences deserve to be seen and heard by their own right and so honestly, it feels weird to jumble all of these different groups into one/to celebrate them all in one month. It feels impossible actually. I'm referencing it as such to encourage inclusivity, but definitely not at the expense of visibility.

P.P.S. This photo was taken at the Takashi Murakami exhibition within the Asian Art Museum in SF.