Carl - The One-Eyed Producer

Not posting mattress actress birthdays or sexy jokes today. My girlfriend doesn't understand that those posts have nothing to do with her, and that she's the hottest girl I know. She doesn't have to worry about me hooking up with the ladies in "Showgirls", or the star of “Starship Intercourse” or Samantha Saint, or Barbara Eden, or anyone else. Unless Smurfette is real, and human size. Blue people are kind of hot. I mean, not Avatar people, but Smurfs and maybe that lady Captain Kirk made out with. Or was she green?

It's Gina's birthday today! Gina Gershon is an acclaimed American actress, author, and musician with over 150 film and TV credits. Beyond screen acting, she is a talented stage performer, musician, and published author. AND I saw her b***s in Showgirls.

Mattress Actress Samantha Strong turns 59 today. Born in Seattle, she won an AVN Award for Best New Starlet in 1988 and was eventually inducted into the AVN Hall of Fame. Samantha retired from the adult-film industry in the late 1990s. You may remember her from movies like “Chestmates”, “Starship Intercourse”, and “Mammary Lane”. They say she was the favorite actress of Richard Ramirez, the Los Angeles serial killer known as "The Night Stalker".

Aren't we all?

Mattress actress, Samantha Saint, turns 39 today. You may remember her from family classics like “Farm Girls Gone Bad”, “My Dad’s Hot Girlfriend”, and “Bikini Outlaws”.

Disturbing.

OHA and OHSU medical experts sent out a press release today, to remind people to freak out and live in fear. We had 2,144 confirmed cases of measles in the United States last year, which is the most since 1991. Howard Chiou, M.D., Ph.D., medical director for communicable diseases and immunizations at OHA’s Public Health Division, said; “Measles is here in Oregon and spreading in the United States”. He’s got a good point…3 out of our 349 million people died of it last year. We gotta shut it down!