The Daily Pooper
An unbiased reviewer of bathrooms offered by establishments. Based in Baltimore, MD. The toilet of the east coast.
05/26/2026
05/19/2026
Columbia, MD
Two in a row for occupancy indicator and gender neutral bathrooms is unheard of. I should come to Columbia more often. Blurry occupancy indicator pic because they are slammed and a fat guy taking pics of the bathroom is probably weird. At first glance bathroom appears dirty, but the pattern of the concrete floor makes it appear as such. Just a little splashed water around the sink, and the unused toiletpaper sitting on the toilet. Small bathroom but it does the job. Adequate illumination lights the gloss brick tile on rose floral wallpaper. Knee-to-tp is excellent, with some decent two ply. Not quite ultra, but step-down adjacent. A far cry from the last reviews soviet-esque two-ply. Sink had great knuckle room, with immediate H-O-T HOT water. The soap smelled faintly of roses, solid callback the wallpaper. Paper towel dispenser had either a broken return spring, or intentionally doesn't return. Considering it has a sign for elbow actuation I would assume it has a broken return spring. Normally I'd pick the lock and see if I can fix it but they are slammed and close to closing. Trash can is foot actuated with dampers for a slow, non-slam return. Picture is mid-close (no free dogs. Dm for foot pics 📸🦶) Not much in the way of decoration, aside from the wallpaper.
Overall 8/10 would p**p again. In order to achieve a perfect score, I'd like to see a better floor finish, with some decor, and a better toilet paper. An air freshener is always suggested. This bathroom gets a pass on the changing table because of its small size and also if you bring a baby here f**k you. Stay home. (Said with love, some establishments you just dont bring children to)
The Food Market. Great people, close to perfect bathroom. Will be back to p**p.
**per **pfree
05/19/2026
Columbia, MD
Gender neutral, individual bathrooms with some motherf**king occupancy indicators!!! Holy trinity of perfect bathrooms right out of the gate. Most likely a choice based entirely proactively for their customer base (the g**s read you know). Unlike the ignorant people that protest these kinds of bathrooms. I mean how f**king stupid must you be to not want a single occupancy private bathroom like this. Genuine mouth breather activity. I apologize for my enthusiastic language but do you have any idea of how long its been since I've seen something like this??? Opening the door does start a downward trend. The specific bathroom I chose had a dirty floor, which was very clear due to the adequate lighting. Nothing in the way of decoration, however there is an overhead speaker blasting some tunes. So... thats something. Currently jamming to Just Dropped In by Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings (thanks ). Solid saxophone work. Toilet paper is (BRANDED!?!) Scott spec Soviet two-ply. Actually amazed would stick their name on this product. I get it, filling a need of cheap toilet paper to make money, but at a certain point we need to look inwards and ask ourselves "what are we willing to put up with today?" Not Fu***ng Thisâ„¢ would be my response. The knee-to-tp was pretty spot on. The sink had great room to wash, although was also gross and had like, p***s in it. Seriously look at the picture, tell me those aren't p***s. The soap was unremarkable, although the dispenser was not dispensing nearly enough per squeeze.
Overall 7/10, would p**p again. This review upsets me. I Thought we had a hall of fame worthy entry. The second I opened the door I was upset. In order to score a perfect 10, they need to keep this thing clean. I deducted 2 for how dirty this bathroom. The toilet paper needs an upgrade badly. I'd like to see maybe a poster, or picture of a bookshelf (you know, book store) and maybe an air freshener would be a nice touch. It should be noted there was a changing table in the handi-accessible bathroom.
Barnes & Noble. Good people. Need to keep up on their cleanliness. Otherwise would p**p again.
**per **pfree
05/09/2026
The Hideaway
Odenton, MD
- no occupancy indicator on stall
Split gender multi-occupancy bathrooms, marked with redundant men/women signs. I actually appreciate this, as this establishments proximity to Baltimore means a lower than average literacy rate. The bathroom is a little dark, with the walls being medium gray, the floor being medium gray, and the walls of the stall and ceiling being black. I think more lighting or perhaps a lighter floor would make a solid change. The floor was a little dirty with wads of toilet paper, but its also peak hours on a friday night, and again proximity to Baltimore, I mean have you seen the streets? A plunger was present in case Noah's Ark needs to come back. Knee-to-tp is excellent. Superb even. It really is more shoulder-to-tp which is also a good foot and a half. Toilet paper is Soviet spec two-ply. Bonus point for a baby changing station in the men's room. It is in the stall but space is a premium in bathrooms in 2026. The soap was adequate, the sink however I have mixed feelings about. Not a knuckle f**ker by any means, plenty of room to work, but the water would only get lukewarm at best, also the bowl of the sink is a little narrow which lends itself to splashing. Paper towels are provided as god intended, but there is also an alpine hand dryer. There was climate control, and ceiling ventilation along with an air freshener. I do not recall any decoration, but becauae I do not recall I will not knock a point down.
Overall 6/10 would p**p again. In order to score a perfect 10, an occupancy indicator should be added on the stall, the lighting should be improved, the toilet paper should be upgraded to charmin or equivalent, and the floor should be cleaned.
The Hideaway. Good people, decent p**ping experience.
**per **pfree
The downfall of society begins with the individual p**per.
**pfree **per
10/31/2025
It be like that sometimes.
10/05/2025
Anotha one
**pfree **per
10/04/2025
Very cool sink
**per **pfree
10/02/2025
We put locks on them so nobody steals our precious toilet paper, but then we dont let our employees have the key, so they have to leave the roll unguarded. Ripe for pilfering.
**per **pfree
07/19/2025
Modern horse hitch
**per **pfree
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