Jacob Sturges

Do you ever remember dates? Do you let those memories fade away or are they imprinted on your mind? The following is from six years ago, when I experienced my first panic attack:

How do you calm yourself? The other night, I woke up having a panic-attack. I was breathing hard—trying to catch my breath. I have spent most of my time inside (the last two weeks) because I would be considered “high risk”.

Though most of the isolation has been great (I’m more of an introvert), staying inside is driving me crazy! But what do you do when you are by yourself? (You don’t even have a pet that you can talk to!)

This morning, I was thinking about something that I remember reading and (have learned over the years of OVC). We are human beings that long to be in relationship with others (plain and simple). Yes, we can continue with virtual gatherings, but at some point we have to more from the isolation to human contact.

There are many people in our communities that have been affected by this pandemic, through “high risk” or loss of employment. But what can you do in these situations? Here are just a few that I (or I have seen others do) this week:
1) Turn OFF the television!
2) Play solitaire (about twenty different times till you win)!
3) Write cards/letters to others that you haven’t had a chance to connect with.
4) Read a book.
5) Take a walk.

Sometimes you have to take your mind off of things like the pandemic, loss of employment or being stuck in your house 24/7 full of people at one time! When you have experience loss, all you can think about is the past and present—Christians and non-Christians are experiencing this. But know that you can do something—You can make a difference in someone’s life today! Comment below of some of the ways that you are handling this situation (good or bad).

Waiting...A Word We All Dread!

If you know me, you will know I am a planner. But I am sometimes not always patient. I dread waiting...Waiting in lines, traffic, and projects (which is probably why my "Working Geniuses" are enablement and tenacity). This means I want to see results, finish well, and feel a sense of accomplishment.

But what if that waiting took 35 years? Traveling to Mexico, Ukraine, Israel, or Korea is not uncommon. It was a sense of adventure, but also a sense of waiting. For the last decade, I have spoken in churches, schools, and conferences about my family's journey of international adoptions, as well as best practices in loving, caring, and serving orphaned and vulnerable children, youth, and families in foster care, adoption, and global orphan care.

I was doing a podcast a couple of years ago with my friend and ministry partner, Sandra Flach, with Justice For Orphans, as I shared about my journey back to South Korea, since my adoption. When Sandra asked me to say some words of encouragement to parents, I ended with a verse: "Be still and know that I am God..." (Ps. 46:10a). Listen to the full podcast here: https://youtu.be/Z2c4rvFp97I?si=J4zd4o4u9rrDdSs6.

As we enter this Easter weekend, I often wonder what the waiting was like 2,000 years ago. There was silence...waiting...fear... anticipation. Let us remember that waiting can be a good thing.

Searching For Retreat Centers!

2020 was a year that turned my world upside down...As it did for everyone that I knew. I was remembering a time when I was doing a virtual interview with a ministry partner of mine from the Philippines, who had already had a shut-in order in place 12 weeks before the Midwest started having shut-in orders due to the global pandemic of COVID-19.

It was around this time that I understood what a panic attack was. This global pandemic showed a lot of things about our world, but also about our churches and ministries. It showed that we could be working 24/7, fully remote from homes. It also showed how lacking churches can become in their ministries, where they have to shift everything to virtual.

Now, I am not saying this is all bad, but I would say this shifted our approach. Are we constantly depending on our jobs by working 24/7? Are we continuously trying to pursue the next "best thing" on the market? Are we more concerned about the number of programs and ministries we are leading than intentionally stepping away to care for ourselves?

I remember telling a young church planter who was launching his church plant, shortly after the pandemic hit the Midwest, "God has open doors to step into this phase. Learn to stop and listen to the Holy Spirit. Your parent church has had to make changes and shift things around, but you, as the lead church planter, have an opportunity to let God guide your steps on this journey."

I recently went on a silent retreat...A place where I was "finding rest for my soul." This place raised many questions. I was sitting down with a ministry partner from Minnesota after this retreat, and said, "When I left the retreat, there were lots of questions, and I wonder if there was more 'talking' than listening?"

Are you at a point where you want to give up? Are you tired and weary? Are you giving more than what your body is telling you? Learn to accept the invitation to find rest for your soul. Learn to stop and listen to your soul.

What does it mean to go on a journey? What if the journey took you places where you don't understand?

As I step into a new season, these two pictures come to mind. Two different places, two different perspectives...All leading to one invitation: "Come and rest." Traveling to multiple countries, these two places shifted what it means to find rest for my soul.

We live in a world where we are constantly connected to people, whether physically or socially, through social media. We reach for the next best thing on the market or rush to get last-minute things done before we run to our other commitments. We are on the go!

But what if we decide to stop...Stop the things we think need to be done immediately? There is an invitation to be led into the wilderness or by the streams of water, and to find rest.

"Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he [Jesus] said to them, 'Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.' So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place. But many who saw them leaving recognized them and ran on foot from all the towns and got there ahead of them." (Mark 6:31-33, NIV).

"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake." (Psalm 23:1-3, NIV).

As I prepare to go on a silent retreat, I am reminded of two things. First, it is good to be invited into the wilderness. We think the wilderness is about dying to self, but it is a place where God truly does speak. Secondly, it is a reminder that His Word is not just truth, but good for the soul. Research shows that a person can only survive without water for about 3-5 days! It is good for our physical, emotional/mental, and spiritual body to be invited into these spaces.

Credited Photos and Locations: .lee.sturges
Israel/West Bank 2023
South Korea 2024

Thousands of people from all over the world will be watching two events: Super Bowl LX and the 2026 Winter Olympics. I have always had mixed feelings about both of these events.

More than likely, these two events bring lots of revenue (not only to the state where the Super Bowl is being held), but also where the Olympics are. Very few people know the underlying factors of the vulnerability of these events. It has been reported that the number of children in the US foster care system can fill the 5 largest stadiums in the US! Nearly 200 million people will be watching the largest sporting event in the country, and yet, human trafficking becomes one of the leading factors in this event in the US. Around 28 million people are trapped in human trafficking every day, worldwide.

The other event happening this weekend is the 2026 Winter Olympics in Italy. When I have spoken in churches, schools, and conferences about my own adoption story, I bring up the fact that the 1988/1989 Winter Olympics were held in South Korea. Many adoptees, during this time, were placed "on hold" for nearly two years, because Korea didn't want other countries to view them as poor or weak...They could care for their own people, Koreans. Many years later, this has led South Korea to move towards closing international adoptions by the end of 2029.

I bring both of these things up because the harsh reality is that most people do not understand. I was sitting down with some friends I recently met, and one of them asked how I felt about being adopted or the challenges of the adoption process. I can't speak on behalf of someone else's story, experience, or journey. Frankly, it's their story to tell. I share my story and knowledge because I know it is needed, and I'm truly grateful for my adoption.

If you would like me to come and speak about my family's journey of international adoption, or about best practices when it comes to loving, caring, and serving orphaned and vulnerable children, youth, and families through foster care, adoption, and global orphan care, please reach out.

New place…New season!

“The apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught. And he (Jesus) said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.’ For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat” (Mark 6:30-31, ESV).

(Jesus said,) “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matt. 11:28-29, ESV).

“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth” (Ps. 46:10, ESV).

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake” (Ps. 23:1-3, ESV).

“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God” (Ex 20:8-9, ESV).

There been two churches that I’ve been part of who have intentionally allowed their church to rest at the end of the year. Moving across the country (Midwest to the South, this is very much needed for my soul.

https://sojournonline.org/yearendreflection



What do dates mean to you? Are there memories that are imprinted in your mind?

At the age of 15 months old, on December 15th, 1989, I was one of five (1 of 5) Korean children that flew into the Des Moines International Airport on that cold winter night. All passages were let off first and waited at the gate to see where these 5 Korean children would be placed.

In 2020, I decided to go back to college. Traveling is not uncommon for me. So, traveling to Israel in May 2022, it was a joy to see how the Korean people and culture depict the Virgin Mother Mary and Jesus as an infant/toddler.

Waiting 35 years was nothing but incredible to travel back to my birthplace and homeland of South Korea in July/August 2024. Meeting my birthmother was not something I would have imagined would happen on that journey.

If you would like me to come and share about my family’s journey of international adoptions, or about best practices when it comes to loving, caring, and serving orphaned and vulnerable children, youth, and families, please reach out.

Credited Photos from .lee.sturges:
1: Photo from adoption papers
2: Photo in Nazareth, Israel
3: Photo from Seoul, South Korea

It’s has been a week!! Had to leave some things behind, but got everything that to come with me, loaded up.

Made my way to St Louis to speak at a foster/adoptive support group Wednesday night. Had an incredible time sharing and encouraging foster and adoptive parents. Then spend some time helping Janiece and Neal Wieschhaus with their (foster/adoptive ministry) Christmas tree.

Dad flew into St Louis Friday night. We woke up with the battery not starting my car and had to get it jumped started. Drove down to GA and now at the hotel!!

“To join with Jesus in restoring communities through the multiplication of Christ-centered followers, leaders, ministries and churches” ()

Being part of a community for the last 14-15 years has been exciting! I never dreamed all the up’s and down’s of this journey.

Hesed: "Unfailing love, commitment, loyalty, loving kindness."
Tov: "Life that creates life that creates life."

I have been having final meetings with people before moving to Georgia. It is not getting easier, but becoming harder as reality hits. I was talking with a pastor friend once, and told them that I didn't think I would have stayed this long! Every ten years, I have lived somewhere else, so when 2019/2020 came, I thought I would move.

When 2020 came, it shifted and turned everything upside down. Being raised in the church my entire life, I was told I wasn't supposed to question God, the Bible, or even my faith in Jesus! But my prayer for the next four (4) years was, "Let me question everything that I have been taught, heard, or read about God, the Bible, faith..." Was it wrong for the disciple, Thomas, to doubt the existence of the resurrection of Jesus? Or, was it bad for Jacob to wrestle with the angel in the wilderness before his name changed to Israel?

We say, "God created mankind in (His) image..." (Gen. 1:27). So, if we are created in God's image, has He not given us a freewill of choice and an intellectual mind? Is it ok to let people doubt or wrestle with questions of God, His existence, and the Bible? I would say, "Yes, it is ok!" but we aren't meant to do this alone. Out of these doubts and wrestling, it has brought me to a place of "hesed" and "tov".

"Hesed" because of God's "goodness and unfailing love" (Ps. 23:6a) that has walked beside me all these years. And "tov" because the "life (vision) that creates life that creates life" was spoken/birthed in me nearly 10 years ago after stepping down from church leadership.

I would have never thought that more than 15 years ago, I would witness God's prophetic word in a faith community that I have been part of for the last 14 years! This will be one of my last Sundays before moving to Georgia.

I was recently sitting with some friends, as we discussed about compassion and empathy towards those we serve. I was reminded of the following that I shared back in 2022 while on a retreat:

Since 2020, I have gone on retreats on my own. It is a whole new and different experience than going with a group of people you know, especially traditions very different than yours. Many of them (retreats) have brought me to a place of looking back at my past.

Back in 2021, the Lord took me on a journey of resting, healing, wholeness, and self-care, but He also brought to mind a painful memory that I had carried for nearly a decade (10 years). I carried this weight of anger, hurt, pain, loneliness, and unworthiness. Off and on, this memory came to mind until I returned to that same retreat in 2022, that I felt it was time to be the one to let go and say, “I forgive you.”

“I have learned to grieve the loss…being hurt and alone in trying to make sense and [finding] closure. I have learned to let go of the anger and frustration I carried the last 10 years. But most of all, I have learned that I can forgive you. As I have sat in silence these last few days thinking, praying, asking the Holy Spirit to guide my words—I no longer carry this. I have brought it to the feet of my Lord Jesus…I have learned that I was causing more pain, hurt, and anger toward myself by holding and carrying this for 10 years.”

You may never FORGET the past, but you can FORGIVE to move forward in the future. Those wounds become scars. Deep inside you (they may never go away), but a reminder of who you have become now. Wounds take time to heal (not hours or days), but years and maybe even decades!