Conversations with Colby

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"The Cave You Fear To Enter Holds The Treasure You Seek"

-Joseph Campbell

One of the most crucial elements of my personal development journey has been reclaiming my power from identifying as a "victim". The reality is, everything that happens in the world around us in a opportunity to learn, to grow, to adjust, to expand. The nature of our experience, therefore, is defined by our our ability to respond (the real definition of responsibility!) to these situations with the energy and power of a creator rather than that of a victim.

A victim asks himself, "Why is this happening to me?" Oof, painful! A creator asks himself, "How can I grow stronger in the presence of this challenge?" Now that's POWER! Because the person who reclaims their power through each and every challenge that life presents along the way, ultimately becomes unstoppable and unshakeable.

Take a moment to reflect on your life, and the circumstances you find yourself in. Which ones are the most challenging? Which ones are the most scary? Those are the areas holding the most power to be reclaimed. Enter the caves of your fear, and find the treasure hidden within.

Want to hear more? Send me a message and let's talk about how YOU can reclaim your own power! Life will never be the same again.. :)

It's not about the guns.

I repeat. It's not about the guns.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't own a gun myself, and I believe they cause more problems than they solve. I believe in the importance of sensible regulation when it comes to availability of fi****ms. But gun violence and mass shootings are the symptoms of a much deeper disease running rampant through our society, and getting rid of guns isn't the answer to resolving that disease.

If it's not about the guns, though, what is it about? It's about the pain. It's about the pain that drives a person to picking up a gun, and thinking that there's an answer there, that they haven't found elsewhere. A child isn't born wanting to shoot another human being, a child learns to do so because of the world that he or she grows up in. So why, when there is yet another horrifically tragic example of violence in our society, do we, yet again, fail to examine the actual roots of it?

For an answer to that question, we can simply look at how "healthcare" operates in America. Sadly, "healthcare" in America is mostly a reactive industry, attempting to treat or alleviate symptoms on one hand, while at the same time actively perpetuating the underlying diseases. Is it any wonder that the food served in hospitals is directly linked to many of the conditions that patients are suffering from in those very same hospitals?

The same paradox exists in our relationship with the preponderance of mental dis-ease in society. Where are the social media posts asking, "What factors contributed to a child having nowhere better to turn than an act of violence?", or "What sort of a world have we created, where killing our neighbors feels like a less excruciating path than living among them."

We Are Sick. It's time we admit it. We are collectively suffering from a gut-wrenching sense of separation from our fellow human beings. when a human being feels safe among his neighbors, he doesn't seek to harm them, he seeks to protect them. Our mission, then, is to heal the wounds that tear us apart from one another. Sadly, the virtue-signaling and self-righteous cries of "Get rid of guns!" not only aren't saving any lives, they're further deepening the divide.

If you really want to save a life, or prevent the next act of violence, dig a little deeper, ask yourself what steps led to previous acts of violence, and add a drop of love somewhere that it's sorely longed for. Congress isn't going to heal our communities, and neither is the next President, no matter which political party they hail from. Only WE, as individuals, communities, and human beings, can summon the love in our hearts that can change the headlines. Are you ready to heed the call?

Responsibility. In other words, our ability to respond to something. Most importantly, or ability to respond, rather than to react, to something triggering. Ultimately, it's one of our most crucial, and impactful abilities of all.

There has been a surge of conversation recently about the 'man vs bear' question, a lot of pain and sadness being expressed by both men and women around the answers many women have given when presented with the question, "would you rather run into a man or a bear while alone in the woods?".

This conversation is indeed important, and highly informative. The energy and fear behind it, though, can often be detrimental to the real issue at hand, which is how can we come together, man and woman alike, to ensure that ALL human beings can feel safe, in whatever situation they might find themselves. I long in my heart for all women AND all men to ALWAYS feel safe, no matter what. And the sad truth is, we don't.

So what to do? Attack each other over and over again, interchanging the roles of victim and persecutor repeatedly, arguing in an incessant, painful ping-pong match of "who's suffering more?" That might feel good in the moment, to blame others for our pain, but it also traps us in the role of victim, seemingly powerless to do anything to improve our situation.

On the other hand, we can rise up powerfully together and try something new to interrupt these patterns, to create new ones. What if we all made more effort to examine the underlying sources of our pain, the unmet needs of safety, connection, and togetherness that we ALL share? What a difference that could make!

We are not each other's enemies. We are on the same side of this, if we CHOOSE to work together with each other, rather than continue to point fingers and avoid blame.

It is absolutely f'ing painful to be a woman in a world and not feel safe alone with a man, whether in the woods, late at night in a dark alley, or even in a home. AND, it is absolutely f'ing painful to be a man, longing for intimacy and connection with the beautiful, divine feminine, yet having been constantly bombarded from birth by carefully contrived messages of sexuality in pop culture, marketing, and social systems.

I can especially relate to this last part. I spent decades, painful decades, chasing women and sexuality in a frustrating and ultimately impossible mission to meet what I wasn't even aware were my underlying needs, of intimacy and connection. In fact, my attempts to meet those needs through sexuality actually prevented me from meeting them at all! But society NEVER taught me this. I learned a lot about math and science, aced all my tests, but didn't once get taught the difference between strategies and needs until I miraculously discovered Compassionate/Nonviolent Communication in my mid 40s!

Of course men are dangerous to women- we're in pain, we're struggling, and some of us have no idea how to contain that pain, no matter how hard we try. Is that an excuse for violence and abuse? NO! But if we want to eradicate that violence and abuse, the ONLY effective way to go about that is to get to the root of why it happens in the first place, what is the Dis-Ease that men experience which can so often lead to the tragic symptoms of violence and abuse.

We can solve these matters, if we work together. On the other hand, if men and women continue to fight each other, to exacerbate and exaggerate the experience of separation from one another, the tragic symptoms of that will continue to show up in more and more painful ways.

It's time to end the war, it's time to heal, it's time to create containers of safety, connection, and love. For ALL of us (including the bears!)

With love,
Colby

"I love you so much I don't care what you think".

I wonder if you have the same reaction I did, when I first heard these words? "If we love someone, shouldn't we care very much about what they think?" Well, what I needed to learn was there is a massive difference between caring about a person, and caring what they think. Especially when it comes to what they think about me. Because at the end of the day, thoughts are just that, thoughts. They don't have any inherent meaning by themselves, and are often an arbitrary amalgamation of interpretations based on a person's past experiences, projected onto current observations about the present moment. I used to worry though, that if a person had 'negative' thoughts about me, that that person might somehow abandon or reject me, and even used to hide my real self, my precious authenticity, from the world as a result of that fear. I learned a valuable lesson though: an adult can never be abandoned. Period. Sure, as a 2 year old child, the threat of being abandoned was a scary one. If I had happened to have pi**ed off my parents so much that they left me alone on a street corner to fend for myself (news flash: that NEVER could have happened, no matter how much I had actually pi**ed them off), that indeed would have been a life-threatening situation. But I'm an adult now, fully capable of taking care of myself, and don't need to worry about that anymore. Yet, like any vestigial organ (ie the appendix), that fear has stuck around long after its usefulness has expired, and can only cause damage. So I choose to embrace that awareness, and surgically remove that fear, as best as I am able, by reminding myself how safe I am, no matter who may disagree with me or how strongly they may express their disagreement. I AM SAFE. Always. Those three words can be a magic wand, replacing fear with self-love.

Ironically, I'm so much better able to listen to what others think, without the fear that might have arisen previously, and embrace the learning opportunities available through different perspectives. I no longer need to 'defend' my own perspective, or try to prove that I'm 'right' and another person is 'wrong', because I know there is actually no such thing. I love the Rumi quote, "Somewhere beyond right and wrong, there is a field. I'll meet you there". Only by transcending our fear of not being accepted for our differences, can we meet each other as we truly are, in a field of love.

I'd love to hear if this message resonates with you. Please feel free to share your own experiences in the comments below. Have a wonderfully blessed day, and remember that the most absolute best gift you can ever give the world, and anyone is it, is Being You.

With love,
Colby

Abraham Hicks - Practice the feeling of Unconditional LOVE / No Ads during Unconditional love is vibrational alignment with the source even when things you don’t like are happening. Practice these feelings regardless of what's going...

"Things as they are, no mortal has ever seen, though the words be familiar as household words, and perpetually on the lips of men. We cannot see things as they are, for we are compelled by a necessity of nature to see things as we are. We never can get rid of ourselves."

-"Things As They Are", The Atlas, anonymous author

https://anchor.fm/colby-balch/episodes/Sandeep-Kaur--Death-Doula-e1rjl2u

Here's the audio version of our latest episode, with Dr Sandeep Kaur, a certified international Yogi & Kundalini teacher, Psychotherapist, and "Death Doula"

Sandeep Kaur, Death Doula by Conversations with Colby In today's fascinating episode of Conversations with Colby, I interview Sandeep Kaur, who works as a Certified International Yogi & Kundalini Teacher, psychotherapist, and "Death Doula". Sandeep shares elements of her own personal spiritual journey and her experience guiding people through the often...

Have you ever wanted to know what a "Death Doula" does? In this fascinating episode of Conversations with Colby, I speak with Dr Sandeep Kaur about her experience guiding people through the death experience, for both those facing the end of their time window on earth, and for their loved ones who remain behind. And what an exciting interview for our very first YouTube edition! If you prefer the audio only version, you can catch that version at https://anchor.fm/colby-balch/episodes/Sandeep-Kaur--Death-Doula-e1rjl2u

Enjoy!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMo9I6N4omg

Conversations with Colby: Sandeep Kaur, Death Doula In today's fascinating episode of Conversations with Colby, I interview Sandeep Kaur, who works as a Certified International Yogi & Kundalini Teacher, psycho...