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31 years Clean & Sober today. Grateful to be here. Just want to say that I still struggle, not with the obsession to use drugs and alcohol (thanks to God, friends & family, my Recovery/Spiritual practice and supports there), but with lesser addictions, PTSD, Bi-polar disorder & depression. I also live with chronic pain on a daily basis due to nearly losing my life in a motorcycle accident when I was 17 yrs. old. Also this, compounded from other traumatic transgressions & indiscretions. I have suffered many losses, suicides of close friends, deaths.

So, yes I still struggle. I say this just to let others know that despite all the trouble and pain I do not pick up a drink or a drug. I have not always made the best decisions in the past but have learned to make good ones consistently, for the most part today. I help others as much as I can. I do my best to create no further harm to others or myself. I am a productive member of society. Sometimes I am still confused, I feel alone, enraged, frustrated, suicidal.

I will end with this, a quote from someone I respect ....

"I feel gratitude that someone saw the truth and pointed out that we don't suffer this kind of pain because of our personal inability to get things right"

Pema Chodron

I'm not saying it's all pain and suffering, it's not. For some, more than others, we all have our cross to bear. I'm just saying thankfully, I have a choice today, I know I'm not the only one and I don't have to hurt myself anymore.

We all can make this choice.

Please! if you can't take it any more reach out. Call someone. Make a meeting. Help someone else. Don't hurt yourself or someone else. Please.

Thanks everybody.
MJZ

In an addendum to my last post on the publishing of my biography of the project "Scrap Metal Music" Here is a transcript from a recently published book by author and associate professor at Pratt University Cisco Bradley. In his book "The Williamsburg Avant-Garde: Experimental Music and Sound on the Brooklyn Waterfront" Mr. Bradley provides another view of my piece. Here is the transcript and the link to the book:

Michael Zwicky’s Scrap Metal Music (1990)
(From The Williamsburg Avant-Garde: Experimental Music and Sound on the BrooklynWaterfront by Cisco Bradley).

"At the other end of the ten-thousand-square-foot space, opposite the main stage, Michael Zwicky's Scrap Metal Music project was suspended on cables and arranged on tables, composed of pieces of scrap metal he had gleaned from the nearby area.

Zwicky's Scrap Metal Music had been seven years in the making. Zwicky had been trained as a sculptor and painter at the University of Wisconsin and had moved to New York in 1983. He alsoplayed saxophone, guitar, and other instruments. Soon after his arrival, he participated in the movement that became known as the Rivington School, a circle of sculptors, metalworkers,
performers and painters who forged the massive public art piece in the Rivington Sculpture Garden. Zwicky was further inspired by a street performer, violinist Mike Mason, whom he had encoun- tered in Madison, Wisconsin. Mason made bows by wrapping horsehair around tree branches, and he would build fires down by the railroad tracks and fashion gongs, using the fire to temper and shape the metal. Mason sparked Zwicky's interest in scav- enged and self-designed instruments and the idea that one could draw sounds from all manner of natural or found objects. After moving to New York City, Zwicky noted, “My work became more and more abstract as my psyche became permeated by the pulse of the city. Graffiti art was a big influence.” Zwicky also consid- ered an array of downtown Manhattan influences to have made
their mark on him, including saxophonist Jemeel Moondoc's Jus Grew Orchestra, the free jazz-noise rock band Borbetomagus, and Sun Ra.

Zwicky first conceived of the idea for Scrap Metal Music in collaboration with saxophonist Steve Hagglund when they met in Lower East Side Manhattan soon after Zwicky's arrival. They went around the neighborhood in what they called “scavenging,” to put together “a rig” that could be used to create metallic percussive sounds. Zwicky's rig was composed of an oil drum that he cut in half, to which he affixed a bass drum pedal. There was a piece of rebar in the middle of the rig, on which he placed myriad other pieces of metal that collectively resembled a Christmas tree. The duo began to workshop Scrap Metal Music at Nada Gallery, which was around the corner from the Rivington Sculpture Garden, an experimental space where, through successive presentations, they were able to develop the project considerably. More than just a band playing metal trash, they developed a sophisticated vocabulary of rhythms and tones from the various metal pieces they incorporated. Zwicky had become aware of the Cat's Head organizers after he moved into an apartment a few doors down from the Lizard's Tail in early 1990 and immediately felt accepted by the arts community there. He soon placed one foot in the punk scene and became the drummer in the Billy Syndrome for a few years.

To present Scrap Metal Music at the second Cat's Head event, Zwicky took advantage of the ample space and spent the week prior gathering pieces of scrap from the site itself, including pieces from abandoned cars, stainless-steel sinks, a five-hundred-gallon tank, and oil drums. He suspended a number of metal pieces from cables that were hanging from the ceiling, arranging them to allow for an array of different tones, and assembled the remainder of the pieces on tables and on the floor for people to use.

From the very beginning, “audience members naturally wanted to take part in scrap metal events. People feel apprehensive about playing a guitar in front of other people if they have never trained with it, but there was no such anxiety with these found objects. So the audience-as-performers experiment developed quite naturally.” Indeed, one observer described the project as “a riotous cacophony of rhythm and noise. The players were the audience, watched in fascination by more audience who in turn took to the metal themselves. The unleashed energy was electrifying.” The rhythms evolved and changed as between ten and twenty people played at any one time. “Everybody was an equal in that performance,” Zwicky reminisced. For the
entire evening, from ten o'clock until the early hours of the morning, audience members coaxed different tones from the assembled metal mass, often in concert with one another. It was the last time Zwicky ever presented the project, feeling such a level of catharsis that he did not want to revisit it again. Zwicky's performance situated environmental sound-noise art within the
milieu of the Williamsburg avant-garde, foreshadowing much that was to come.

(mucho, mucho thanks to Cisco Bradley)
(transcription by David Dodd)

The Williamsburg Avant-Garde: Experimental Music and Sound on the Brooklyn Waterfront The Williamsburg Avant-Garde: Experimental Music and Sound on the Brooklyn Waterfront

I was contacted recently by my new friend Rafał Kochan in regards to his "Encyclopaedia Of Industrial Music" (website) and his writing my "short biography there, of course, I mean only your artistic/music context. Could you help me in that, please?" I was flattered and began to search my archives of pictures, posts and descriptions of the "Scrap Metal Music" project. Inspired by Rafal's request, what follows is my comprehensive history of the project from it's inception, it's development, it's aesthetic ideology and it's influence on the artistic culture in NYC & Brooklyn in the 80s & 90s.
(the piece was edited and revised by Rafał Kochan; top photo by Anna West)

SCRAP METAL MUSIC Photo 1 This project was conceived of by Michael J. Zwicky & S. Gustav Hagglund aka “DJ Steve” in 1984-85 on the Lower East Side, New York City, USA. Zwicky, (painter, sculptor & “conventio…

(I take so many photos these days and am usually so busy I don't post things sometimes as fast as I'd like... that said I wanted to post these pictures and share my story of my experiences around the Memorial Service for Pete Skeris that I was lucky and grateful to be a part of.)

Pete Skeris, was a band leader of mine in a country band called ClearCut Country. I played drums for them for a good few years in the early 2000's when I moved back to my home state of Wisconsin.

Pete was not only a "boss" but a friend, confidant and mentor. Our band had such a long run and relative local success mainly due to Pete's leadership.

Upon joining the band I was asked to sign a document, a band Charter (penned by Pete) that simply stated what was expected of me and my mates what was not. A simple set of rules, laid out up front. I've been in more than a LOT of bands and was never handed a Charter before.

Pete Skeris booked us in bars statewide and at major festivals in Wisconsin such as CountryFest in Cadott, Country USA & The Hodag Festival in Rhinelander. We opened for national acts all three including Brooks & Dunn, Dwight Yoakam & Keith Urban to name a few.

If it weren't for the opportunity that was presented to me at the time I joined Pete's band and my own open-mindedness and willingness to play a style of music that I swore only a few years back "sucked", I'd have missed out on a whole hell of a lot of fun, memories and honing my skills on a "new" style of music.

What I discovered was my roots: an American style of music steeped in forms I knew - (Traditional) Blues, Folk, Bluegrass, Gospel...w/ other flavors of Cajun & Rockabilly, Rock more so with the modern stuff we were playing. What a richness! It inspired me to learn both the 5 string banjo & the mandolin. I found (and mimicked) the language of the fills the country drummers were using was unique in it's phrasing and melodic qualities; I'd never heard fills played quite so musically before except in jazz. But I digress....

Just Pete was also a forgiving soul. Believe it or not I have been known to test people’s patience. Looking back over my tenure as drummer for ClearCut Country there were several times where I probably deserved to be fired but was spared by Pete Skeris. Even when the band met it’s ultimate demise, which they all inevitably do… once the weight of the egos involved become too heavy to bear, charter or no. In this case, (surprisingly) there was a decision Pete had made that didn’t sit well with the rest of us so we parted ways with him. The remnant I clung to for a short time quickly disintegrated and just like that CCC was in the rearview.

Facebook has served to cut me some slack more than once with friends that I thought I had created enemies of with drug-fueled indiscretions & irresponsibility (in a past life) or more recently with mostly just irresponsibility. Some years passed & my rekindled relationship with Pete Skeris gratefully took this shape: one of kindness, forgiveness & no grudges held on his part for either real or imagined sins on mine. And so it went…

In the Spring of ’23 I heard of Pete's passing and of course one is struck by the suddenness of losing someone unexpectedly, but it never really sinks in fully right away. Sometimes the latest, sharpest loss is what advances and blots out the sky, sometimes it’s just all of it that cumulatively overwhelms. Let’s say for me I found some solace in the fact that there was going to be a Memorial Service for Pete and having been invited to participate, I was honored to do so.

The mechanism of chronic depression and mood disorder has eluded me for some 30 years now. For me it seems disappointment is a factor and there is definitely an element of disappointment in loss. The loss can be trivial… the stupid stuff like losing the car keys or the phone, to the excruciatingly painful; loss of a mate, a child, a pet. Triggered by the unmanageability, the unexpectedness and the uncertainty that loss portends, for me sometimes what is seemingly insignificant is symbolic of a wound that runs much deeper. Seems the (obvious) way “into” depression and the workings of it I understand. I’d like to think if I could get a handle on exactly what causes these shifts in mood to occur, then I could control them somehow & avoid them in the future. It’s the way “out” of depression that myself and I’m sure millions of others seek. Some, in my opinion, choose the easy way…those who follow through with the ultimate and final act of self-destruction, leaving us behind to clean up the wreckage. By the grace of God I haven’t made that decision; though appearing appealing at times, thankfully it just doesn’t fit into my belief system.

What does this have to do with Pete? Well... news of his passing reached me at a time when things were about to shift for me (again) mood-wise. The loss was piling up, tipping the scales once more toward the darkness. Before it got too bad I made a commitment to Loraine (Pete's wife) and Jodi (his daughter) to help out at Pete’s Memorial in any way I could. As the Memorial took shape so did my latest down-cycle, and all that it entails… the irrational fears, the escapist sloth, the low motivation, the anhedonia (inability to enjoy or feel pleasure), the suicidal thoughts, etc. Those who know can identify. So when I’m feeling good and I take a risk and make a commitment, then when my mood flips I’m like, “Why in the hell did I do that?” And so it was with Pete’s Memorial, 3 months away and I’m freaking out, having nothing but misgiving, reservation, second thoughts and anxiety.

My whole summer of 2023 was tainted with depression due to disappointments, losses and unresolved grief. September 27th (the day of the Memorial) was coming up soon. Then miraculously… shift happens… again! As I began to prepare for the Memorial and resolutely began to fulfill the commitment I had made to Loraine and Jodi. As I did I realized I wasn’t doing this just for the commitment I had made, but out of my admiration, respect & love for Pete. I began to put everything I had into it, telling myself whatever this requires (setting up chairs, moving a bunch of heavy music equipment to & from, setting it up, playing, breaking it down, a eulogy…) I was going to give it 100% in spite of my depression.

Pete Skeris had really influenced my life… enriched it and I wanted to honor and celebrate that by participating in & helping put together his Memorial and giving it my all.

That is where and when the shift occurred. It’s sort of a cliche that by helping someone else one can “get out of themselves” or you can “get out of your own head” by helping another. In this instance, the opportunity it presented was truly a gift of providence, for I was able to alter my mood by giving myself over to help someone else. I did this doubtfully, begrudgingly at first and without the knowledge that it would affect me the way it did. I did not expect to enjoy myself, but now here I was doing just that… receiving the gifts… of giving.

What a profound and truly meaningful experience for me.

Pete Skeris touched so many lives with his music including mine of course. It was a wonderful night. It wasn’t a packed house or anything but it was great to meet Loraine Barbeaux, Jodi Dennithorne & her Husband & Pete’s first Wife Laurie Reed. It was with Laurie that Pete played in his first Country band. I got to meet & jam with some of Pete’s musician friends and even got to play his signature blue Rickenbacker bass, the one he’d used for all the gigs I played with him as a his drummer!

So for me the moral of the story and lesson learned is:
“One way I can change my mood when I’m feeling depressed is to help someone else. God, give me the strength to follow through.”

Thanks for the (wisdom) & the memories Pete!!

MJZ 12/31/2023

MJZ (age 4-5)... the British Invasion, onset of the Beatles 1964 w/ wig and cubist guitar I made myself with 3 pieces of wood and about a hundred nails. (long lost photo found at family reunion, Aug. 5th, '23)

Merry Christmas everyone... Love and Peace to all. Enjoy!!

This Saturday I will be flying to Easton, Pa. to begin a 2 week (paid) Artist' Residency program at the "IF" Museum/Academy a Foundation for the Arts located there. I have been invited to create a large scale sculptural installation at "IF" that will remain on permanent exhibit. This great opportunity, under the auspices of Fusionist Artist Shalom Neuman, is due largely to our association in the 80's in and around the Rivington School at that time. I got his attention firstly by way of his seeing my first major work in NYC, "Have A Big Stuff" an earlier installation at the El Purgatorio show at the CUANDO building on the Lower East Side of Manhattan in 1983. Myself and my band "Demo Moe" as well as "Scrap Metal Music" played a large role in fusion events held in the Rivington Sculpture Garden and at his Fusion Arts Gallery around the corner on Stanton Street at that time. Shalom believes in me and my work and I am so grateful to him for the prospect of this event!

Also for more information on the Rivington School and my exploits in NYC in the 80's a book "Rivington School: 80's New York Underground" (by Istvan Kantor and Toyo Tsuchiya) is now available in it's second edition. Yours truly is prominently featured in the book...
Here's the link: https://www.amazon.com/Riving.../dp/1570273715/ref=sr_1_1...

IF Museum/Academy IF MUSEUM - (INTERNATIONAL FUSIONISM) - Museum promoting interdisciplinary, multi-sensory and interactive arts.
Open By Appointment, please call or e-mail us to schedule a visit.

Blue Live Blue Live Recent abstract expressionist work by Michael J. Zwicky Artist. Influenced by graffiti, urban pulse, jungian archetypes, mythology and chaos theory. The object expands beyond the bonds of its appearance by our knowledge that the thing is more than its exterior presents to our eyes (artist

Finding new ways to do old things. Like.