The Amarillo Rag

“We don’t want to give people a false impression that this is a safe place to raise a family.”

Keep Amarillo Trashy announces community lake pollution events — The Amarillo Rag Local non-profit group Keep Amarillo Trashy has announced they are working with the city government to host a series of lake pollution events this summer. Keep Amarillo Trashy founder Claudia Smyth said the goal is to make Amarillo a more honest city. “Sometimes visitors come to our parks and see

"We cannot yet discuss details but I will be urging City Council to offer major concessions to the Germans," AEDC leader Andreas Eckstein told The Amarillo Rag.

Read more:
https://www.amarillorag.com/home/germans-plan-amarillo-invasion

Amarillo City Councilman Tim Reid has joined our team as a columnist, and today he is going to teach you the history of socks

Tim Reid Explains: socks — The Amarillo Rag I used to not understand socks. Why does every store seem to sell them? Who is pushing socks on us? I did some digging. The sock industry would have you believe socks are harmless articles of clothing, something to keep our feet warm. Newsflash: we already have shoes for that. The math for socks

Amarillo City Councilman David Prescott was on the highway this afternoon driving a water truck to the Fermi data center complex.

"I felt it was important to personally ensure this water was delivered safely" said Prescott. "Make no mistake, this is the city's number one priority."

Prescott has received criticism regarding alleged conflicts of interest regarding the Fermi project. Records show that his company, Talon LPE, did contract work for Fermi. Prescott has responded by stating that those dealings were concluded before the council began to negotiate a water-sell deal with Amarillo City Council.

Prescott also insisted that we mention he wears normal adult shoes.

While we are still awaiting final results from some counties, we can now project that incumbent Texas Senator John Cornyn is vegan

Amarillo City Councilman Don Tipps held a press conference in front of a massage parlor in the mall yesterday, where he announced plans to seek an affair with Senate candidate and Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton.

"I would like to preemptively apologize to my family," said a casually dressed Tipps. "Once the news leaks, I plan to be deeply ashamed of my actions."

Tipps is rumored to be planning a run for Mayor in next year's local elections. When asked if he is worried this will affect his political future, he said "not unless it comes out, but I'm good at keeping secrets." He further stated that, no matter the damage it could cause him, "Paxton has a body that just won't quit. Just look at him!"

Perennial candidate Jamie Haynes is yet again throwing her hat in the ring, this time hoping to fix Amarillo's landfill. "I think I can finally win this one," said Haynes at a campaign event at an Applebee's in Lubbock.

Experts predict she will finish a distant second behind anyone else who runs.

"Michael is in charge now," City Manager Grayson Path confirmed today while hosting a press conference near a dumpster behind the abandoned Ho***rs. "If you have any complaints, direct them to the host of Making Sense with Michael J."

"Amarillo needs to learn to quit complaining. I spent years trying my best and I have never gotten so much as a thank you," said Mayor Stanley in a press conference at the airport. "Peace out!"

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