In-Christ Reality

ASIKATSEMBELI EMISEBENTINI LEMIHLE. (Rom4:5)

Kukholwa mbamba vele kubonakala ngetitselo taMoya, imisebenti lemihle, imisebenti yekulunga, imisebenti lefakazela kukholwa kwetfu.

Asiketsembeli kuyo lemisebenti lemihle nakangaka kutsi isente sibe ngulabalungile kuGod, labatawungena ezulwini.

Kukholwa setsembele kuJesu lowasifela ngiko kanye lokusenta kutsi SEMUKELEKE KUGOD KUTSI SILUNGILE, sifanele kungena ezulwini lakhe.

Kungesiko kulunga kwetfu kwemisebenti yetfu lemihle, kodvwa kulunga lokusipho lesisinikwa nguGod sona nasikholwa nguJesu.

Lokulunga loku kungokukholwa kusukela ekucaleni kuze kube sekugcineni.

https://www.facebook.com/ChristKingdomCitizensOfficial/videos/700725267749854/?flite=scwspnss

HOW EGO IS RUINING YOUR MARRIAGE

1. Ego is making you refuse to apologize when you are wrong

2. Ego is making you think you know it all about marriage so you don't grow

4. Ego is making you think you can mistreat your spouse and he/she will stay regardless

5. Ego is ruining your s*x life because you are making s*x about you alone but not what your spouse also wants

6. Ego is making you avoid your spouse, your pastor, your true friends who keep accountable

7. Ego is making you refuse to pray and rely on the Holy Spirit because you don't want to be pruned, worked on, convicted and moulded

8. Ego is making you refuse to stop the affair you are in because you feel entitled that you can have the marriage and something extra on the side

9. Ego is making you avoid correction

10. Ego is making you refuse to have conversations when you are wrong

11. Ego is keeping you from seeking your spouse's opinion, damaging teamwork

12. Ego is making you come home late at night because you don't want to be questioned

13. Ego is making you defensive when you shouldn't

14. Ego is making you angry when you don't get your way

15. Ego is keeping from forgiving your spouse because you don't want to let go of offense

16. Ego is making your children afraid to approach you because you are so lost in your own bubble

Don't let ego cost you your marriage; lest loss humbles you

© Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde

WHAT KIND OF A MAN ARE YOU TO YOUR WOMAN?

1. THE VISIONLESS TYPE
Are you the kind of man who wants commitment from a woman yet you don't even know who you are and where you are going? Are you commiting to a woman because you see a clear future with her or just because you are passing time and want someone beautiful by your side to waste time with in your directionless life? Where are you leading her to?

2. THE EGOTISTICAL TYPE
Are you the kind of man who is so full of himself that you look down on your woman? Are you so hard hearted that you cannot see your own wrong, you always have to be right and you are not teachable? If you are so full of yourself, you will have no room for a woman in your life

3. THE DIFFICULT TO HELP TYPE
Are you the kind of man who is so used to doing things alone that you discourage your woman from being there for you? Do you wrongly believe that being a man means not showing your weakness so you suffer in silence? She is your helper, how can she help you if you shut her out?

4. THE REACTIONARY TYPE
Are you the kind of man who only displays love when your woman threatens to leave or when you feel that she is getting the attention of another man then once the threat goes you go back to taking her for granted? This is not fair. This is keeping her just to make yourself feel good. Love is consistent

5. THE OVERLY SEXUAL TYPE
Are you the kind of man who is just focused on s*x, much of your conversations, plans and actions are s*xual or geared towards s*x? Do you only treat your wife well when you want s*x? This will turn a woman off. She wants to know that you value all the other qualities that make her special

6. THE NON-SEXUAL TYPE
Are you the kind of man who shows no desire at all or attraction to your woman? Does she wonder whether you find her attractive anymore? Does your wife wonder why you no longer touch her or long for her? You are the only one she allows to desire her, don't make her wonder whether she is still your focus

7. THE EMOTIONALLY DEAD TYPE
Are you the kind of man who doesn't emotionally connect with your woman? You don't notice her tears, you don't have heartfelt conversations with her, you are flat and a conversation killer? Does she wonder how to start and keep a conversation with you? Do you avoid her? You are making her feel lonely and unwanted yet she belongs to you

8. THE DREAM KILLER TYPE
Are you the type of man who is negative and discouraging each time your woman tries to advance herself? Do you tell her no when she seeks to pursue her dreams yet want her to support yours? Are you not pursuing your dreams so you stop her from pursuing hers? Just because she is loving you doesn't mean she loses herself

9. THE BACKWARD TYPE
Are you the type of man who is holding on to outdated cultures and thinking? Does your outdated mentality stop you from being a great husband and father to the point that your family is wondering are you not seeing how much you are hurting them? Outgrow practices that please you but hurt the ones you love

10. THE WOMANISER TYPE
Are you the type of man who is with a woman but entertains, flirts and pursues other women? Are you telling other women the same sweet things you tell the one you are with? Your woman will pick these things and you stand to lose her because this is disrespectful. If you were not ready to be faithful, why did you ask her to be yours?

11. THE LOST TYPE
Are you the type of man who is easily swayed by friends, circumstances and whispers? Are you the type of man who doesn't have a firm stand? Such a man is difficult to walk with, providing no security or stability. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways

12. THE MOMMY'S PUPPET TYPE
Are you the type of man who is controlled and manipulated by the mother? It's great to honour your mother but unhealthy when it is your mother who calls the shots in your life and love choices. Man up

13. THE MONEY LOVER TYPE
Are you the type of man who is fixated on money, getting your worth from money, throwing money at problems and denying your woman quality time, care and the things in life money can't buy? There is more to life and love than money

14. THE ABSENT TYPE
Are you just her man by title and not function? Do you rarely spend time with her, rarely are involved in things that concern her, rarely there for her and the children, turning down her invites to spend time together? Love=time

15. THE ABUSIVE TYPE
Are you the type who causes harm? Do you abuse her emotionally with your words, s*xually by demanding s*x even when she is hurting, abusing her physically with your masculine arms, abusing her financially by suppressing her means to earn? You wouldn't want to be abused so why abuse her?

16. THE NON-COMMITAL TYPE
Are you the type of man who doesn't commit to anything? You leave everything to her, you don't offer yourself to action things, playing in the grey area so that you don't be held accountable? Take responsibility

17. THE BLAMING TYPE
Are you the type of man who blames every one else for your personal wrongs? Do you blame your wife, your parents, your background, your teachers, your pastors and society for your bad behaviour? If you keep looking for scapegoats, you will never grow

18. THE JEALOUS TYPE
Are you the insecure type who sees your woman as competition and want to bring her down and micro-manage her? Have you become so insecure that you are over-protective and being with you is unbearable? Get to love yourself, that way you will see she is on your side

19. THE LYING AND UNTRUSTWORTHY TYPE
Are you the type of man whose word cannot be trusted? Have you fed her so many lies and broken so many promises that she does not believe you any more? Learn to tell her the truth, she can handle it. A man is as good as his word

20. THE LOVING TYPE
This is the type every woman needs. A man who is decisive, gives clarity, is faithful and trustworthy, is conversational, caring, secure, thoughtful, mature, giving, responsible, confident yet humble, challenging and clear about his vision. He brings out the best in his woman. Gentleman, keep loving her like you do

© Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde

HOW TO INFLUENCE YOUR HUSBAND

Many wives wish that they can change their husbands for the better, but you cannot change a man, you can only influence him to the point that he desires change for himself. How?

1. Make sure the home is peaceful, not a place he wants to run away from. This will make him spend more time at home with you, giving you more room to influence him

2. Find out what is his vision and show him that you care about his vision. This way, he will tell you his biggest dreams that he is afraid to tell people because people don't believe in him

3. Appreciate him for the little he does and he will naturally find himself doing more for you so that he can be rewarded with more of your appreciation

4. Complain less. This will make him less defensive and more mouldable by you. If he starts to see you as a fault finder, he will pull away making you less influential

5. Make him proud. Do great things as an individual, have something uniquely yours that is worth admiring. Let him go out there and hear admirable things about you, let him look at you as an individual, a business woman, a career woman, a mother who is glowing. Men tend to yield to the influence of the woman they admire, not the woman who is a drag, stressful, negative and who has given up on life

6. Teach him how to do those things you wish he would do for you. If you wish that he be more courteous to you, that he would ask you how your day has been, that he would be more open and transparent; don't demand for it, show him by practicing it and he will warm up to it through your gentleness

7. Call out his greatness because your words mean alot to him. Speak life to him both when he is down and when things are going well. Tell him how great a future he has, how an amazing business man he is, how big a blessing he is; he will find himself living up to those words even if he falls short. Teachers and employers use this strategy to bring out the best in people. Truth is, most likely your husband is hanging around people who only see him in the here and now, you be the unique voice that speaks into his future

8. Correct him with love. Yes, there are times he will fall short, but the tone and approach you use while correcting him matters. If you come off harsh and as if you are attacking him, he will pull away; but when he sees that you are coming from a place of love and you mean well, he will allow you to be the iron that sharpens the iron that he is

9. Do not overreact or become overly sensitive and judgemental. Your husband is paying attention to how you react to topics and he will choose what to talk about with you based on your reaction. If he notices that you get edgy when he talks about an innocent female friend, his mother, finances or his past; he will keep off such topics. But when you are a secure wife, easy to talk to, he will tell you the intrigues in his life, he will tell you about his friends, the weirdest things that happened to him, what his mother is thinking, the troubles he has gotten into, the ex who tried to make contact him, the lady he gave a ride to in the car when it was raining.... All because you are easy to talk to. The more you know, the more you will influence him

10. Pray for him. Yes, team up with God to mould him. You are the one who knows your husband's strengths, weaknesses, temptations, traumas and struggles. Commit him to God in prayer

11. Praise him in public because a man feels more emboldened to be great when his woman highlights his goodness

12. Make him feel needed. Men long to feel useful. When a man is made to feel he adds no value and can be easily discarded, he feels worthless; but when you remind him of how much he means to you, when you ask him for help even when you can do it on your own, when you seek his advice, when you request him to sort out an issue in the house and make him feel like he has saved the day; he will lean more towards you and you will influence him

13. Notice his growth. As he makes incremental progress towards being a better man, spending more time with the children, taking care of you; show him that you see his effort and it will motivate him

14. Give him space and be patient. Don't police him, choke his time or want to micromanage him as if he is a little boy and you know better; he will only rebel. But when you allow him to find his personal pace and path to growth, when you allow him to miss you sometimes, to hear other viewpoints; soon, he will begin to see that the best is with you

15. Find out what he likes to talk about, this will be a great conversation starter. Men actually do love to talk, they are just picky with topics. What is his favourite topic? Music, history, business, cars, leadership, science? Show interest in his topics and he will light up talking with you about them and find himself talking with you about conversations you care about

16. Don't compare him with others, including with yourself. Don't say words such as "I feel like I am the man in this marriage", "Why can't you do the way I do things?", "Other husbands do better than you", "Why can't you be like Mwende's husband?"... You will lose your husband with this approach. You don't inspire a man by comparing him with others, but by speaking to the individual great man he can be

17. Don't take him for granted then start to do the right things when you have lost him. Don't mistreat him, ignore him, watch him walk astray and do nothing then desperately do all the right things when it all gets complicated

18. Give him counsel, not orders. Your advice should not be an order but a suggestion. Your delivery is important. When you suggest, he will ponder upon it and find himself paying attention to your counsel, thus influencing him

Many married men look back and see how much they have changed for the better through the love of the wife. That is how powerful and influential women are

© Dayan Masinde and Akello Oliech
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HOW TO BETTER COMMUNICATION IN YOUR MARRIAGE

1. ASK OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS
Ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer, questions that initiate conversations such as "How was your day?", "How did you get that scar?", "How is your heart?"

2. FIND OUT TOPICS YOUR SPOUSE ENJOYS
Don't just talk about bills and responsibilities, engage your spouse in conversations your spouse enjoys such as business, leadership, general knowledge, design... talks about life and emotions

3. USE ENDEARING NAMES
When you call your spouse with special names such as "Darling", "Hun", "Sweetheart", "Love" it makes the communication sweeter

4. REPLY OR CALL BACK AS SOON AS YOU CAN
Ignoring or delaying to reply or calling back your spouse discourages communication

5. BE COURTEOUS
Learn to say "Thank you", "Please", "Kindly", it makes your tone warmer and less entitled

6. HAVE HUMOUR IN MARRIAGE
The more you two laugh together, the closer you will get

7. SPEND QUALITY TIME
There are some conversations that cannot be rushed and you two will only have them when you spend adequate time together

8. SOLVE ISSUES QUICKLY
Issues kill communication. Learn to swallow your pride and reconcile faster

9. ASK YOUR SPOUSE IF EVERYTHING IS OK WHEN HE/SHE IS ACTING WEIRD
If you notice your spouse has changed or not himself/herself; ask... sometimes all your spouse needs is an invitation to open up

10. APOLOGIZE AND FORGIVE
If you do wrong, say sorry. Stop holding on to grudges. People who value their love do this

11. AVOID SILENT TREATMENT
Stop trying to punish your spouse with silent treatment, it only pushes your spouse away

12. AVOID TALKING ALOT WHEN ANGRY
When people are angry, they tend to say regrettable things. Hold your tongue

13. AGREE ON HOW TO HANDLE CONFLICTS
When things are good between you two, agree on how to go about conflict to minimize misunderstandings

14. PRAY OFTEN
Talking with God often as a couple makes you two connect better

15. INVOLVE YOUR SPOUSE IN DECISION MAKING
The more you show your spouse his/her opinion matters, the more your spouse will feel connected to you

16. MAKE LOVE OFTEN
Enjoying pleasure together heightens communication

🔴 Photo of Mr. and Mrs. Alexander. Married & Saved followers from Jamaica. We pray for you the best in marriage 🔴

© Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde

100% FACTS ONLY:
1. If you are SINGLE and keep on saying "I DON'T TRUST MEN OR WOMEN!" Remember your mates are getting married every Saturday. Let me ask you, are they marrying spirits? Wise up!

2. If you are MARRIED & Keep Saying
"I HATE THIS MARRIAGE " OK! Is it not married people like you that are celebrating Gold, Silver and even Platinum jubilee?

3. If you keep on ranting,
''I'M LEAVING MY MAN, HE CHEATED ON ME!" Please, go to town and see all the fine, cute, s*xy, hot, hungry and desperate chicks waiting to sn**ch your man's money and property, they don't even mind sharing. Make it work, my friend!

4. Stop Saying "I HATE MY JOB!"
Look! 20 million people are jobless and can't even find any not to talk of keeping it! Do you want to join them?

5. You Keep Saying "I HATE WHERE I LIVE!"
Oh please! *tears* Try visiting those locations that are flooding now, people leaving in tin/zinc shacks in winter or people living/ sleeping under the bridge at night and you will be grateful to God that you even have a place to stay!

6. Some say "I AM TIRED OF THIS LIFE!"
Well, go to the hospital and see people fighting for their lives! Go to the mortuary and take a look then tell me what you feel after that! The point is, be positive and believe in God, that's all that matters.

Be Blessed. CHERISH EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE: To realize the value of a sister/ brother ask someone Who doesn't have one. To realize the value of ten years: Ask a newly divorced couple.

* IF WE CONFESS & REPENT FROM OUR SINS.
* IF WE PUT OUR FAITH SQUARELY IN JESUS CHRIST AND IN THE FINISHED WORK HE DID ON THE CROSS.
* IF WE ACCEPT JESUS CHRIST AS OUR PERSONAL LORD & SAVIOUR;

OUR GOD IS LOVING, MERCIFUL, GRACIOUS, FAITHFUL & JUST;

* HE COUNTS ALL OF OUR SINS PAID FOR BY THE SACRIFICIAL DEATH OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST.
* HE FOREVER FORGIVES US FROM ALL OF OUR SINS.
* THE BLOOD OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST CONTINUALLY CLEANSES US FROM EVERY MANNER OF SIN.

# WE HAVE BEEN PURIFIED AND MADE HOLY ONCE AND FOR ALL TIMES THROUGH THE SUPREME SACRIFICE OF THE BODY OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST.

WHEN A WOMAN IS IN LOVE WITH A MAN

1. She lets him know and doesn't let him be the only one who expresses love

2. She praises him and speaks highly of him

3. She notices when he is living below his potential and encourages him that he can be better

4. She values making love to him. She might say "I love you" in the middle of or after love making to express how special it is to her

5. She covers him in public as she nurtures him to be a better man in private. The public looks with admiration at the man she has been working on and polishing and it makes her fulfilled

6. She gives him peace. She would never want to be the reason why he is stressed or worked up

7. She reviews herself, asking herself "Am I treating him well?" because men rarely say when they are offended and she is quick to apologise when she wrongs him

8. She organizes his life and takes care of him without him even asking

9. She speaks to him like the King that he is to her, with respect and gentleness

10. She doesn't do things that will make him feel threatened by another man. She makes him secure

11. She advances and grows herself because she wants him to look at her and say "You are blessed. I am proud of you!"

12. She is not the woman who is always asking "What can he do for me?" but rather the woman who asks "What can I do for him?"

13. She is patient with him. Appreciating his growth and effort

14. She avoids quarrels and arguments with him because she doesn't want his experiences with her to be draining

15. She values his advice and asks for it because she wants him to have a say in her life

16. She understands his journey and his pain and helps him to heal

17. She lovingly warns him when he is walking into danger. She looks out for him

18. She loves him in a manner that pleases the God who created him

© Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde