Codemart

after you hopped on a quick call with the client to touch base and accidentally sold them 2 extra person months 🥂

Finally you found the guy who committed
#𝚍𝚎𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚎 (𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍() > 𝟷𝟶)
#𝚍𝚎𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚎 (𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍() < 𝟷𝟶)
#𝚍𝚎𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝟶 (𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚎 ? 𝟷-𝟷 : 𝟷)

oh jesus we need a freaking miracle to get this done by Monday 😥

Our popular ecosystem of neuroscience widgets for The Virtual Brain, running in the EBRAINS JupyterLab was recently extended & improved, thanks to the great work of Deepthi – one of our students from the Google Summer of Code 2026! 🧠

🔗 Check out what she created: https://www.codemart.ro/codemart/zwei/chronicle/single/6274-google-summer-of-code-2026-student-work-improved-tvb-widgets-on-ebrains-jupyterlab

your client commented in the bug tracker: "wow, thanks for the fast fix xoxo" 😃

😤

😱

2 seconds before he assigns you the most icky bug report in this sprint 😬

hold on you did WHAT with my perfectly fine code 😆

The Brainiacs team at Codemart is building the future standard of care in clinical neurology: BrainXplore™ 🧠

We wrote BrainXplore for the French biotech startup VB Tech – with an ultra-fast C simulation core, Python and React this software platform generates patient-specific digital brain twins from standard structural and functional neuroimaging.

Several large clinical centers in France 🇫🇷 & the U.S. 🇺🇸 are already evaluating it!

Meet our team and see what it can do: https://www.codemart.ro/codemart/zwei/chronicle/single/6192

how many developers does it take to change the border-radius of a button 🤓

your scrum master when hearing you're practically done, concept is solid, leet code looks good, AI said tests will pass and you only need to paste it into VSCode 🤔

when I was a junior, we didn't need no lazy AI or code completion. We had memorized all the man pages and never dropped the ball!

/𝚜𝚛𝚌/𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗/𝚓𝚊𝚟𝚊/𝚛𝚘/𝚌𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚝/𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚜/𝙲𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝙵𝚊𝚌𝚊𝚍𝚎.𝚓𝚊𝚟𝚊

watching your boss demoing your alpha to the clients while you pray silently that she stays on the happy path 🙏

Thank you Teodora & Adrian for your 2-week student mentorship during the AccelNet Summer school in Florence, Italy 🇮🇹! This was a great opportunity to teach The Virtual Brain and showcase all the EBRAINS tools and platforms!

"I estimate this to take us between 1 hour and 11 months ⚖️"

Our Brainiacs Teodora 🧠 & Adrian 🧠 are happily busy as neuroscience mentors in Florence, Italy 🇮🇹 – teaching students how to use The Virtual Brain to build digital twins during the AccelNet Summer school!

See what happens there: https://www.codemart.ro/codemart/zwei/chronicle/single/6153-codemart-teaches-neuroscience-students-at-accelnet-summer-school-in-florence-italy

your boss asking you to un-vibe a 20k LOC website written by the client's "gifted" nephew over the weekend 🫡

how you imagined programming with AI 🏖️

tfw you converted all Postgres record IDs to base-2 numeral system 🫢

your teammates when you broke the build 3 times in a row 🫵

your 1st day as project lead, motivating your team by chanting "Spor! Spor! Spor! Reușim!" 💪

how many times have I warned us not to use fractional story points?? 😧

🫠

2 stackoverflow users linking you a 8-year-old deprecated answer which doesn't compile 👬

💤

when I was a junior we didn't docker-this, docker-that, we just SSH'd into PROD and changed some files and the world didn't end 🙄

"sooo… what's our procedure to recover a table if… umm a friend –hypothetically – updated all rows by forgetting the 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴 clause?!" 😇

you closed the ticket as "won't fix" and the client wrote "thanks for looking into it" 🥳

Summer 2026: Join us for 7 weeks of *paid* internship! 👨‍💻👩‍💻

Learn from projects like a global B2B eCommerce system 🏪, the leading large-scale brain simulator 🧠 or public transport management 🚊🚌

How to apply: https://www.codemart.ro/codemart/zwei/chronicle/single/6114-summer-2026-join-us-for-7-weeks-of-paid-internship-

so i stored all passwords in one table and used foreign keys to reference them. I mean most users have the same passwords anyway, right? Gonna save us 7 GB storage…

the client's server runs Su***de Linux and every typo is aliased into 𝚛𝚖 -𝚛𝚏 /

Our Brainiacs Paula 🧠 and Teodora 🧠 are enjoying their stay in springy Nice, France 🇫🇷 as workshop speakers for the 1st EBRAINS Student Conference on Interdisciplinary Brain Research: teaching how to use The Virtual Brain to build In Silico replicas for personalised treatment

🔗 https://ebrains.eu/news-and-events/events/2026/1st-ebrains-student-conference-on-interdisciplinary-brain-research

when you ask your architect how much it will cost you to auto-scale on AWS 🤷‍♂️

Today you're hearing a lot about us, the women in the IT industry. We're glad you're listening! Since women are tuning all this code, orchestrating all this machinery and sounding the alarm when things go south. Make sure you hear us!

Happy 2026! 🙌 🤍

👂

We hear the build groaning.
We hear the servers humming.
We hear the bugs whining.
We hear the bits flipping.
We hear the CPU choking.
We hear the backlog crunching.
We hear the tokens vaporizing.

oh hell no, you can't rewrite this in Rust… last week you wanted to rewrite it in Haskell 🙅‍♂️

"…and this, my dear padawans, is how GenY developers looked when they were your age"

wait wait… you reverted all my bugfixes and now it's effing WORKING?? 🤯