Platform B

𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂! It’s Week 47 with only 5 more weeks to go until 2025 ends.
So, what’s on your mind this week? 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 is center stage in my head at the moment, consuming every waking hour. I want to understand how the heck I can become more disciplined!

Let me give you an example.
On January 1st, I decided that I would post consistently every week for 52 weeks. I started off well, as we all do. But then things started to slip. So instead of Happy Monday every week, it became Happy whatever day, just as long as I did a post. I was rather pleased that I relinquished the perfectionist and embraced the philosophy of ‘good enough’ but somewhere at week 20, I lost it. I fell off the wagon and didn’t post for another 27 weeks. As I write that number, I’m shocked. How did this happen? What happened? Where have I been for the last 6 months?

Which brings me to this theme of DISCIPLINE. My discipline muscle seems to be unnaturally weak, and this annoys me. How do disciplined people do it? What do they have that I don’t have? Is there a gene for discipline?

Typically, as we do these days, I went directly to ChatGPT and Google, where I was fed the usual standard answers. For example, define clear goals, start small, establish routines, make it easy. There is nothing wrong with these ideas, but I’m a much harder nut to crack. 😤

The next layer of advice was slightly better: focus on doing instead of not doing, connect to your WHY, use accountability, embrace discomfort.

🤔 “Embracing the discomfort” caught my attention. This is perhaps where I struggle most. My monkey brain says, why would I stay in pain! Ouch, let’s not. Let’s run away, let’s grab a painkiller. Like a pleasure-seeking missile my brain goes into overdrive searching for the escape hatch.

If I follow the logic, it would appear that to be disciplined, you need to cope with pain. Is this the answer? Do I need to build up my tolerance for suffering?

It’s only Monday and my head is bursting with ideas that need unpacking so I'm going to keep writing about my search for the discipline gene.

For anyone reading this who is disciplined, can you share your thoughts, please. Why can you do it, and what can you teach people like me?

For those who feel undisciplined, let’s explore this together. I’m convinced there is a way to build the Discipline Muscle and get the benefits that being disciplined brings.
Until next time.
Jacinta 😄

Let's Talk About ....... Insomnia 😴
If you have ADHD, then you will most likely experience issues with sleep. But if you don’t address these issues, you could end up with insomnia.

There are many causes of insomnia and occasional poor sleep doesn’t mean you have it. So what is Insomnia and what can you do about it?

That’s what I wanted to know, so I interviewed Carolyn Tabak, Insomnia Expert.
You can watch the interview here. https://youtu.be/Nxmp4cBEQh8

😴 A key take-away for me is that I need time to wind down properly before jumping into bed. And that the amount of time needed to switch off is about an hour!

Thanks, Carolyn, for sharing your wisdom with us.
You can find out more about Carolyn Tabak here: https://psychologies-unlimited.com/

𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝟮𝟬 - 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱 𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘆
𝗔𝗻𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗺𝗼𝗼𝗻?

I swear that’s what’s been keeping me awake the past few nights. Despite having a whole toolkit of sleep strategies, nothing worked this week — three nights in a row of broken sleep!

Thankfully, last night I finally slept like a baby.

If you’re also sensitive to moon cycles, here’s my biggest tip: 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗳𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗶𝘁.
Seriously — 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳. The more frustrated or tense you get as you lay in bed, the more alert you become. Here’s why.

To sleep, you need melatonin in your system. This hormone tells your body it’s time to sleep. If you are frustrated, angry or anxious, your adrenaline and cortisol levels will rise. These two hormones block the calming effect of melatonin, therefore making it impossible to sleep.

So yes — when you're lying awake stressed, it's not "just in your head." Your 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽, and calming your nervous system is key to letting melatonin do its job.

To do that, focus on slow breathing and muscle relaxation techniques. You could also listen to a soothing meditation, and 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼… 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝗰𝗸.

That’s the trap most people fall into — watching the minutes tick by, convincing themselves they’ll feel awful the next day. This only adds stress, triggers more adrenaline and makes it even harder to fall asleep.

🌕 So if the moon has your nights spinning, be kind to yourself, breathe, and let go.

You’ve got this — tired or not, your body knows what to do.
Have a great week, everyone.
𝘑𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘢
😍

𝗖𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴
When a book grabs your attention 3 times, in 3 different locations, at 3 different times, it’s a sign you must read it.
So, I purchased 𝗗𝗼𝗽𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗡𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 by Dr. Anna Lembke.

𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗮𝗺 𝗜 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗴𝘂𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸?
Because it explores ‘𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯’. I think we can all agree that we are bombarded by high-reward, high-dopamine stimuli.
From what Lembke is saying, my brain is addicted to the buzz I get from constant scrolling, binge-watching and google searching. These behaviors trigger an immediate dopamine rush and over time harm the ability to enjoy real life.
Take me, for example, with my recent feelings of demotivation and joylessness (despite loving my job and having a good life). Like an addict, my hand reaches for the phone the minute I get bored or frustrated. Reaching for the phone instead of being present in the moment is flattening my emotional landscape. (It's no wonder I’m feeling blah).

I lose touch with the simple pleasure of noticing the robin playing in my garden, listening to a song that brings me to tears, or feeling elated when I overcame a challenge. Instead, I chase the high octane ping of dopamine!

Chasing the dopamine kicks is NOT bringing me joy, and this addiction stops NOW. The book explains the problem and how you can beat it.

𝗞𝗲𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲:
🔸 Detox from my phone and give my brain a break
🔸 The payoff is more joy and better use of my time
🔸 Facing the pain and working though it brings much higher levels of pleasure than scrolling for instant gratification
🔸 The insatiable pursuit of pleasure actually increases pain (makes life worse not better)

This is an interesting book for anyone who feels they are addicted to their phones and other gadgets or substances. (e.g. Gaming, eating, drinking etc). I suggest you first listen to podcasts with Dr Anna Lembke before buying another book you won’t read.

While you do that, I’m off to read my novel! 😍
𝘑𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘢

𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱 𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝟭𝟴 - 𝗧𝗼𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝗔𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻 - 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝘆?

𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗪𝗲𝗱𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗱𝗮𝘆, 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲. Yesterday, I had an AHA moment that I just have to talk about. I learnt that my natural response to negative emotion is avoidance. Let me explain……

My friend Clare Wildman Coaching was, once again, helping me with technology. We uncovered the problem, but the task itself still needed DOING.
I leaned back in my chair and gave a huge sigh. “I’m so tense right now that I want to run away, eat a bucket of chocolate and binge on a Netflix series”, I said. “I can’t bare looking at this screen any longer”.

Clare’s response was, “I’m so tense right now, that I’m itching to get DOING because I know that by DOING the tension will go, and I’ll feel happy again”.

We are both coaches, so naturally we had to unpack this opposing response to a task.

I was reminded of the NLP concepts - motivational directions “away from” and “towards”— referring to how people are driven to take action.

𝗔𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
When you are wired like this you are motivated to avoid pain, problems, or negative outcomes. I wanted to run away from the negative feelings triggered by the IT problem.

𝗧𝗼𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀 𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
When you are wired like this you are motivated to achieve goals, desires, or positive outcomes. Clare wanted to move towards the problem and get it DONE!

Despite knowing about these concepts for years, I had never fully recognized how this ‘away from’ tendency explained my awful procrastination.

In a typical day, when I feel frustrated, annoyed, irritated or if I feel stuck on a task, I start procrastinating. In other words, I start ‘moving away from’ the task that needs doing.

𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀. I’ll be working on something, then I’ll hit a roadblock. Instantly, my fight/flight response fires up. This response is highly emotional and completely disproportionate to the actual situation. (For those of you with ADHD, this might resonate). The intensity of the ‘pain’ triggers the impetus to run.

Now that I understand the 𝗰𝗮𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿𝘀, I can train my system to react differently.
🔸 When I feel triggered to run, I first need to calm down the flight/flight response.
🔸 Once the system is back to baseline, my logical mind can take over and I’ll be able to face the task/situation in front of me.

There is nothing wrong with being an ‘away from’ person, unless your behavior makes problems worse. 🔑 The key is to be fully aware of your responses and then CHOOSE the response that best serves you.

Wishing you a productive week,
Jacinta
Clare Wildman Coaching

𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱 𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝟭𝟱 - 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗚𝗶𝗿𝗹 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗪𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗛𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗙𝘂𝗻! 💫

Happy Thursday everyone. This week a friend and I were having an interesting conversation about having fun. We both realised that we've forgotten how to have fun. We've become too serious and spend too many hours per week thinking about what we 'should' be doing. Things like work projects, cleaning the house, trying to lose weight, trying to be more productive.......

But then I got thinking about what do I love doing? Of course, I love going out for dinner with my friends, but what else do I love to do? Fun should be more than just eating. Am I so boring!

𝗔𝘀 𝗜 𝘀𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗻 𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗿𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝗲.
- I love my work, and it brings me lots of joy. So working is fun for me and it's OK that I work on weekends sometimes.

- I love singing and making music - but I have NO-ONE to do that with. And music is about sharing. I need to find some musicians to hang with.

- I love meeting new people but I've been too lazy to get out and about.

It's time for me to come out of hibernation and find my tribe here in Haarlem.

Please share your tips for having fun with me, but only tips that do not involve eating and drinking. 😆

Happy Thursday,
Jacinta x

🧠💤 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 & 𝗦𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽: 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗚𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗕𝗲𝗱 𝗘𝗮𝗿𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗿

Hands up anyone with ADHD who has trouble getting to sleep? It’s not simply a matter of turning off the lights. Oh no….. that would be far too easy.

If you have ADHD you will no doubt experience the following on a regular basis.
👉 Racing thoughts
👉 Delayed sleep phase (can’t fall asleep until very late)
👉 Trouble winding down
👉 Dopamine dips that mess with circadian rhythms
👉 And that classic “second wind” at 10pm...

From birth, I’ve been a bad sleeper. My poor mum nearly went mad with her first born because as soon as it was time for sleep, I’d suddenly be wide awake.

Why is it that the ADHD brain wakes up when the sun goes down? Well, it’s a combination of biological and neurological factors.

1. 𝗗𝗼𝗽𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘀: People with ADHD often have lower levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that plays a key role in motivation, focus, and attention. In the evening, as the day winds down, the brain may be more starved for dopamine, which can lead to a sense of alertness or restlessness. The quiet of the night might allow this heightened awareness to surface, making it hard to relax.

2. 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗮𝗹: ADHD can also make it harder to regulate emotions. At night, when there are fewer distractions, any pent-up emotions from the day (stress, excitement, anxiety) might surface more intensely, keeping the mind awake and active.

3. 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: the person with ADHD is busy, busy, busy all day. There’s lots to pay attention to, and adrenaline is the fuel.
It’s not surprising, therefore, that the minute you put your head on the pillow, your brain feels the vast emptiness which for ADHD is BORING.

So, what does your brain do? It starts entertaining itself by ruminating, or visualizing a new idea, or pondering how to fix the world’s problems. You wind yourself up so much that sleep becomes impossible.

This week I will be sharing my quirky ideas on how to get to sleep. But I’d love to hear what you do to help quieten the monkey brain.

Feel free to contact me if you are looking for a coach who is specialised in ADHD coaching.

𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝟭𝟮 – 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱 – 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝟱 𝗦𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲

I happened to stumble across Mel Robbins’ idea for the 5 second rule and it struck a nerve because it sounds like a simple antidote to a problem most of my ADHD clients and I struggle with.

How do you make yourself get out of bed in the morning when it’s the last thing you want to do? How do you make yourself do your daily exercise when you’d rather do anything but? How do you make yourself write your book when you feel bombarded by your inner saboteur?

Mel’s tip is great and a very good idea for anyone with ADHD to try. Mel says to count backwards 5-4-3-2-1 and then launch yourself into ACTION! I like this sentence, “I simply moved before my brain had the chance to talk me out of it”.

Mel goes on to explain that this works because you interrupt the cycle of 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴. By counting backwards you are 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀, and this shuts up your inner saboteur who’s keeping you stuck.

With this countdown, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. 🚀 You are no longer thinking ABOUT what you need to do, which is where the ADHD brain gets stuck, but instead you are already doing IT.

Thanks Mel Robbins for your great idea. And good luck to anyone who finds it hard to get started. I hope this helps you as much as it is helping me.

𝘑𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘢 𝘹𝘹😍



_______________________________________________
If you are looking for a coach who is an ADHD specialist, then why not get in touch. I would be happy to discuss how I work and how coaching can help you to get organized, overcome procrastination, find structures and routines that suit your brain wiring. But most important of all, you will learn how your ADHD works and how to maximise your potential. I look forward to hearing from you.

𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱 𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝟭𝟭 Digital Fitness is a must.

My head almost exploded on Friday and Saturday as I sat listening to presentations at the PKM (Personal Knowledge Management) summit.
It was an excellent event, well organized and a friendly, open atmosphere.

But as I listened, it really brought home to me how much I still need to learn. One of those things is the lingo. For example, in data management they talk about 'fields', but in Obsidian, they use the word 'properties'.

I'm feeling very overwhelmed and a bit late to the party.
But thanks to people like Martijn Aslander, becoming digitally fit is less daunting for people like me.

The PKM Summit 2025 was great.

𝗡𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲 & 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀. 𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲!

Are you facing a career shift, cultural adjustment, or life change? You’re not alone! Whether job hunting, changing careers, embracing neurodiversity, or adapting to parenthood, transitions can be tough.

Join our interactive event on April 4 and get to know the ACCESS trainers and coaches who are here to help you.

I am delighted to be part of this event and will run a breakout session on Neurodiversity and how things work here in the Netherlands.

What to expect?

✅ Expert advice from experienced trainers & coaches
✅ Practical strategies to manage change
✅ A supportive community of internationals
✅ Interactive sessions—ask, share, learn

🗓️ 2 April 2025
📍 Online
⏰ 9:00–11:00 AM

Take charge of your journey — reserve your spot today! 🚀

Register here: https://lnkd.in/eC7apvjh

𝗝𝗮𝗰𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗮 𝗢𝗻 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲 - Den Haag
What do Richard Branson (Founder of Virgin Group), Taylor Swift (Musician, Businesswoman), and Simone Biles (Record-breaking gymnast) have in common? They are neurodivergent.

Do you work with neurodivergent clients? How would you know? Why not join us for this engaging 1-hour presentation which aims to equip solopreneurs and small business owners with the knowledge to effectively collaborate with neurodiverse clients, focusing specifically on those with ADHD traits.

In today’s competitive market, understanding diverse client needs isn’t just good practice, it’s a strategic advantage.

Participants will learn how clients process information and why their behavior can be confusing at times. You will learn how to slightly modify or adjust your communication to reduce misunderstandings, avoid project delays, and create seamless, mutually rewarding partnerships.

The session covers practical techniques to:
• Structure timelines, plans, and feedback that work for ADHD & ASD clients’ unique brain wiring.
• Use clear, tailored communication to minimize misinterpretations, prevent overwhelm, and to keep tightly focussed on original agreements.
• Help such clients stay on track while respecting their boundaries and strengths.

Leave with the confidence to guide your neurodiverse client relationships more assertively, resulting in smoother projects, better time management and higher client satisfaction.

Whether you’re new to working with neurodiverse individuals (or not even aware that you have neurodiverse clients), this presentation is your gateway to understanding this unique brain-wiring, resulting in improved collaboration and project success.

Register here at the WBII website. https://womensbusinessinitiative.net/events/ #!event/2025/3/27/wbii-march-event-in-person

𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗟𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀

Feeling stuck in a life or career transition? Whether it’s adjusting to a new culture, switching careers, or looking for advice in English, you don’t have to figure it out alone! ACCESS has a team of volunteers who can give you the information you are looking for. ACCESS Training Network is also there for you. https://access-nl.org/

Why not join us on April 4 and meet some of the amazing trainers and coaches who are here to support you as you adjust to life in the Netherlands.

3 weeks to go! Have you registered yet?

Navigating Life & Career Transitions in the Netherlands?
Let Us Help You Get There!

Join ACCESS ATN Trainers for an interactive event packed with expert advice, real solutions, and a supportive community of internationals just like you.

✅ Learn from professionals
✅ Get practical tools for change
✅ Connect with like-minded people

Join 2 breakout rooms on the topics most important to your transition and meet the ATN Trainers who can provide you with the support you are looking for in your transition.

Don’t wait— reserve your spot now!
https://lnkd.in/eMC6_xuq?