Monday Mania Show

THIS OPPORTUNITY IS FOR EDUCATORS!!

Are you a Teacher, School Owner, School Administrator or even Parents with school-age kids?

Then this Diction/Elocution training is for you.

Learn:

- ACCENT MODIFICATION
- DICTION and ELOCUTION
- STANDARD BRITISH ENGLISH
- EXECUTIVE SPEECH COACHING
- PUBLIC SPEAKING & SOCIAL SKILLS

You can learn all these from the BEST TRAINERS this holiday with over 21 years of experience.

Here's why you should enrol:

- Get Certified to teach professionally in Canada, US, China, Australia and anywhere in the world

- Build a CAREER in and SPECIALIZE in diction/elocution and phonics teaching

- Make EXTRA INCOME from elocution and phonics regardless of your profession

- Network for diction/elocution teaching opportunities

- Broaden and improve your PHONETIC skills as an English language teacher/diction tutor

- Cure the embarrassment of your accent and lazy pronunciations

- Speaking drills and skills for eloquence, confidence, clarity and fluency

REGISTER NOW!! Call/Whatsapp: 07039021343 or

FILL THIS FORM so we can call you back: http://bit.ly/elocutiontraining

Hello fans

JOKE!!!
SORRY SORRY SORRY.
---> Sorry is when you use candle fire dey find where petrol dey smell {eya....I pity u.. }
---> Sorry is when you pay 280k for BB porch on getting home you find out it has 2 sim card slots {tears go finish 4 ur eyes..... }
---> Sorry is when you write your BB pin instead of your matric no in your final exam {na wetin you dey think b4.... }
---> Sorry is when unknown 4 u, u slap a army general in front of a barrack {big sorry!..... }
---> Sorry say Patience Ebele is your English teacher b4 WAEC {u go write tire..... }
---> Sorry is when your landlord likes ur '' I don hammer '' status on Facebook {ur house rent don increase automatically be dat.... }
---> Sorry is when you get 378 in Jamb and fail Post-UME
---> Sorry is when you throw away 450 naira change instead of gala wrapper {no lie...e go pain u small.... }
YOU FIT ADD YOUR OWN O!!!

JOKE! JOKE!! JOKE!!!
PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH.

WITHDRAWAL FROM ATM

If you are in a sophisticated area like Banana Island, here is how the ATM would communicate;

ATM: Welcome Mr. Samuel.
-Please enter your secret pin.
-How much will you like to withdrawl?......
-Thank you for banking with us, Mr. Samuel...but if you are in places like Mushin, here is how it will respond:

After a guy inserts his card, inputs his secret pin,

ATM: Haaaaaaaaaaa omo iya,
-sho wa kpa?
-sho ri e wa nbe?

Guy: Mo wa kpa baje baje.

ATM: Elo ni k'omo aye por jade?
(guy inputs 10,000)

ATM: (dispenses cash).
Omo iya, ma jeun lor ntie.
IN A PLACE LIKE IBADAN...

An Ibadan woman inserts her card, input her secret code..

ATM: (In Ibadan tone)
-Ekabo Iya,
-se wa kpa?
-So nsuor?
-Elo le fe gba?
(Woman enters N2,000)

ATM: Iya, ko ma s'owo lapo yin ke!
(woman enters N2,000 again)

ATM: Se ko nse afise?
Mo sor kpe ko s'owo lapo yin.

(For the third time, woman enters N2,000 again, thinking it was an error on the ATM's part)

ATM: (Pauses for a while)
Iya, Se ko re o?
-Oma sooror kutukutu ke.
-Alawin looror ojo aje.
-Abaye se o ni?
-To ba kpe ko to fa kadi e yo, mo ma gbe je ni.
-Alawin osi.
IN A PLACE LIKE IJEBU...

A woman inserts her card and pin...

ATM: Omo alare,
-elo ro nfe gba?
(Woman enters N2,391.50K)

ATM: Pause for about one minute, trying to understand the digits.
After about a minute, ATM replies,

ATM: Iya? mo nbor.
E je nsare lor wa shenji wa.
*****************************

If you like this joke, pls invite your friends to join you on this page.
Thanks.

( Lmfao ).

WOMAN & BARTENDER.

A very attractive woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub.She gestured alluringly to the bartender who came over immediately.

When he arrived, she seductively signalled that he should bring his face closer to hers.
When he did so, she began to gently caress his full beard.

'' Are u the manager? '' she asked, sofly stroking his face with both hands.

'' Actually no '' the bartender replied.

'' Can u get him for me? '' she asked '' I need to speak to him '' she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

'' I'm afraid i can't '' breathes the bartender '' Is there anything i can do? ''.

'' Yes there is.I need you to give him a message '' she continued huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth, allowing him to suck them gently.

'' What should i tell him? '' the bartender manages to ask.

'' Tell him '' she whispered '' THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER OR HAND SOAP IN MY ROOM ''.

( Lwkmd4h ).

MARRIAGE PALAVA.

Wife :- What are u doing?

Husband :- Nothing!

Wife :- Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for about an hour..

Husband :- I'm looking for the EXPIRY DATE ...

Here is an opportunity for you to win N5000 N5000 N5000 N5000. click on the link below, like the page, tune your radio to CIT105.1 FM today @ 1pm, call in to the programme, play the game, and who knows, you could be the winner: www.facebook.com/mondaymaniashowoncity1051

Monday Mania Show Community of young, smart, intelligent, and brilliant minds. Call in to the programme, play any of our games and win loads of great goodies.

A HEARTY GREETINGS TO THE BRAIN BEHIND

MONDAY MANIA SHOW

MANDY de MANIAC

on the occassion of his birthday.

We pray God to grant you a fulfilled life,amen.

Where's the DJ setting up?

Full Time

Birmingham 0 vs 2 Chelsea

Full Time
Arsenal 3 vs 0 AC Milan

Aggregate
Arsenal 3 vs 4 AC Milan

What is your opinion about the match???

Predict n Win

Arsenal vs AC Milan

Predict the scoreline correctly and win recharge card.

Predict the number of goals by each scorers
( It could boost your prize.)

All entry closes after 15 minutes of first half.