Wives Blog

And she looked at me and said,
“Ma’am, with all the scandals and chaos happening in marriages these days, I am really not excited about getting married.”

I replied and said to her,
“Are you not aware of the confusion, pain, and emptiness happening in many single lives too? Why are people only afraid of marriage, but not afraid of living without purpose, direction, or dignity?”

In the married community, all kinds of human beings are joined together. Marriage is not a union of perfect people; it is a union of two individuals learning, growing, sacrificing, and building together.

Even in the animal kingdom, there are systems of bonding and companionship. There are lions, elephants, birds, and countless creatures that understand partnership and nurturing in their own way. Life itself reflects the need for connection, responsibility, and continuity.

A woman who does not know who she is, and does not know what she wants, can easily lower her standards and allow just anyone into her life. That is why self-worth matters.

Matthew 7:6 says:
“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”

A woman carries value. She carries purpose. She carries power. She can become more.

There is something called self-esteem and dignity.

Self-esteem is:
• Confidence in your ability to think, learn, and overcome the challenges of life.
• Believing you are worthy of respect, happiness, and genuine love, regardless of status or achievements.

Dignity is the inherent quality of being worthy of honour, respect, and self-worth.

If you were not raised with these values, then teach yourself. Learn them. Embrace them. They will guide you in moments of uncertainty.

Marriage should dignify you. It should strengthen your character, sharpen your direction, and help you grow into a better version of yourself.

There is no excuse for destructive behaviour — not revenge, not loneliness, not temporary pleasure. The devil will always encourage destructive desires, but when the consequences arrive, he disappears, leaving people broken, ashamed, and seeking God’s mercy through pain and regret.

Look at yourself in the mirror and ask:
“Is this worth throwing myself away for?”

Some people will not only disrespect you privately, they will publicly reduce your value by how they speak about you afterwards. It does not matter whether you are rich, influential, educated, or admired — a lack of self-respect can destroy what years of success built.

And if a marriage truly becomes unbearable, then make peace with yourself, with God, and with your spouse if possible. Walk away with wisdom, not with destruction. Leave with your dignity intact.

Please, allow married women to breathe. Stop glorifying behaviours that destroy homes, families, and destinies.

Marriage is not a casual journey. It is a sacred assignment. Before walking into it, make up your mind to build, to nurture, to endure, and to grow a home with wisdom, grace, tenacity, and courage.

My dear, this is still a beautiful time to be married — and to remain married.

Married life can be beautiful, peaceful, fulfilling, and deeply rewarding when built on understanding, respect, patience, and God.

Psalm 46:5 says:
“God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.”

Today, I pray for married women everywhere:
May God grant you strength for every season.
May He give you wisdom in difficult moments.
May He help you carry your responsibilities with grace.
May your home not break you, but build you.
May you live fulfilled lives as wives, mothers, leaders, and role models for the next generation.

May we raise families with wisdom, preserve dignity, and set a better standard for those coming after us.

And please understand — this message is directed to women because I am speaking from concern, love, and responsibility toward women.

Thank you.
Cynthia for Wivesblog

‎11 Things You Must Never Say to Your Spouse (If You Truly Want Your Marriage to Last) - Bisi Adewale
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‎Marriage is not destroyed in one day.
‎It dies slowly… through words.
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‎Many couples are not fighting because of what was done…
‎They are bleeding because of what was said.
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‎Listen carefully:
‎Words are not just sounds, they are seeds.
‎Whatever you say repeatedly in your marriage, you will eventually harvest.
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‎As a marriage clinician, I have seen couples who still loved each other deeply, but could not stand each other anymore. Why? Because their mouths had turned into weapons.
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‎If you truly want peace, intimacy, and longevity in your marriage, there are certain things you must never allow to come out of your mouth—no matter how angry, hurt, or frustrated you feel.
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‎Let me walk you through them.
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‎1. “I Regret Marrying You”
‎This is not just a statement—it is an emotional bomb.
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‎When you say this, you are not just expressing anger; you are attacking the foundation of your union.
‎Your spouse may forgive you, but they will never forget it.
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‎Every time they look at you, a question will linger:
‎“Am I truly wanted here?”
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‎And once that doubt enters a marriage, it begins to rot from within.
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‎2. “You Are Just Like Your Mother/Father” (In a Negative Way)
‎Comparison is dangerous.
‎But negative comparison? It is destructive.
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‎The moment you drag your spouse’s parents into your conflict, you shift the argument from behavior to identity.
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‎Now it is no longer about what they did wrong…
‎It becomes about who they are.
‎And people don’t fight well when their identity is under attack.
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‎3. “I Wish I Married Someone Else”
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‎This statement introduces a third party, even if imaginary—into your marriage.
‎It tells your spouse:
‎“You are not enough.”
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‎From that moment, insecurity begins to grow. Suspicion begins to rise. Distance begins to widen.
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‎Marriage thrives on assurance, not competition.
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‎4. “You Will Never Change”
‎This is a sentence of hopelessness.
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‎It shuts the door to growth, healing, and transformation.
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‎Let me tell you something powerful:
‎People grow where they are believed in.
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‎If you keep telling your spouse they can never change, you are silently giving them permission to remain the same.
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‎5. “You Are Useless”
‎There are words you can say…
‎And there are words you must never say.
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‎Calling your spouse useless is not correction, it is character assassination.
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‎You are not attacking a mistake—you are destroying their sense of worth.
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‎And a person who feels worthless will either withdraw… or react dangerously.
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‎6. “Shut Up!”
‎Disrespect is louder than shouting.
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‎When you tell your spouse to “shut up,” what you are really saying is:
‎“Your voice does not matter.”
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‎And when communication dies, intimacy dies with it.
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‎A healthy marriage is not built on silence, it is built on respectful expression.
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‎7. “I Don’t Care Anymore”
‎This is one of the most dangerous statements in marriage.
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‎Because anger still means there is emotion…
‎But indifference means something has died.
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‎When a spouse stops caring, the marriage enters a silent emergency.
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‎8. “You Always…” / “You Never…”
‎These are exaggerations that create frustration.
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‎Nobody always fails. Nobody never tries.
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‎When you use these words, you make your spouse feel judged, misunderstood, and trapped.
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‎Instead of solving the problem, you escalate it.
‎Learn to address specific issues, not general attacks.
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‎9. “Get Out of My House”
‎Let me be very clear:
‎Marriage is not a tenancy.
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‎You don’t evict your spouse like a tenant during arguments.
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‎The moment “get out” becomes a regular statement, the sense of security in that home is broken.
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‎And where there is no security, love cannot thrive.
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‎10. “I Hate You”
‎You may not mean it.
‎But your spouse hears it.
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‎And words like this create emotional scars.
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‎Even if love still exists, hatred spoken in anger plants confusion in the heart of your partner.
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‎Be careful, your tongue should not contradict your covenant.
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‎11. “Divorce Me!” (As a Threat)
‎Stop using divorce as a weapon.
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‎Every time you say it, you weaken the commitment holding your marriage together.
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‎Marriage should feel like a safe place, not a contract that can be torn apart during every disagreement.
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‎If divorce is always on your lips, stability will never be in your home.
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‎Final Words: Guard Your Mouth, Save Your Marriage
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‎Listen to me carefully…
‎A good marriage is not built by perfect people.
‎It is built by people who have learned to manage their words.
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‎You will get angry.
‎You will feel hurt.
‎You will disagree.
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‎But maturity in marriage is not about avoiding conflict, It is about handling conflict without destroying each other.

‎Before you speak, ask yourself:
‎“Will these words heal or wound?”
‎Because once words are released…
‎They cannot be retrieved.
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‎A Simple Rule to Live By
‎If you wouldn’t say it to a stranger with respect…
‎Don’t say it to your spouse in anger.
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‎Your marriage can still work.
‎Your home can still be peaceful.
‎But you must start by disciplining your tongue.
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‎Because sometimes…
‎The difference between a happy marriage and a broken one is just a few words.
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‎©️Pastor Bisi Adewale
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Marriage is a lot like the weather.

You don’t get to choose the forecast, but you do get to choose how you prepare for it.

Some days are sunny and effortless. You laugh easily, feel close, and everything just works. Enjoy those days. Soak them in. They are a gift.

Other days bring rain. Misunderstandings, stress, old wounds resurfacing.

Rain does not mean the relationship is broken.
It means something needs tending. Talk. Listen without planning your comeback. Remember that growth often happens quietly, like roots strengthening underground.

Then there are storms.
Big ones. Seasons when love feels tested and the wind is loud and it’s cold.

Storms do not ask whether your marriage is ready.
They just show up. What matters is whether you face them as teammates instead of opponents.

Hold the same umbrella. Stay in the storm together. Do not run away to only protect yourself.

You do not control the weather, but you can be a shelter for your spouse. Kind words are warmth. Consistency feels safe. Forgiveness clears the air. Humour lets the sun peek through sooner than expected.

Healthy marriages are not the ones without bad weather. They are the ones who learned how to dress for it, prepare for it, and trust that clearer skies will come again.

©️Joy Slaughter tagged in post