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Diary of a Chicken Seller: After Wedding, What Next?

Be Honest With Yourself First
To truly answer this question, you must first be sincere with yourself. Because after the wedding comes a flood of strange and unfamiliar behaviors between couples behaviors that were either carefully hidden during courtship or simply never anticipated. And if care is not taken, that same marriage can end before it even finds its footing.

I have personally witnessed marriages that did not last up to six months before both parties went their separate ways. Six months. The decorations had barely gathered dust, the wedding photos were still fresh on the wall, and the union was already in ruins.

Where Did the First Love Go?
What breaks my heart the most is how quickly couples forget the first love that brought them together in the first place. That same love that made you lose sleep. That same love that made you say, "I cannot live without this person." Where does it disappear to?

I often sit and think why would a man raise his hand against the very woman he once adored so deeply? Why would the person you once called your heartbeat suddenly become your punching bag? This is not just painful, it is a tragedy.

And let me be balanced here, because this conversation must be honest on both sides. Women too carry their own difficult behaviors into marriage habits, attitudes, and actions that can silently destroy a home, yet the world often turns a blind eye. Two wrongs never build a home. Both parties must do the work.

The "Living Widow" Crisis
There is a painful reality that many women in Nigeria and across Africa quietly endure living as a widow while their husband is still alive. These are women whose husbands are physically present but emotionally absent, financially irresponsible, and spiritually dead to the family. They stopped contributing to the home, yet they remain a constant source of problems and tension.

These women bear the full weight of the household alone, raising children, paying bills, and crying behind closed doors all while society tells them to stay and manage.

This is not marriage. This is survival with a title.
My Take And I Mean This From the Heart
Before you destroy yourself trying to hold together something that is actively breaking you, please take care of your children first. No one can mother like a mother. A loving, present, and stable mother is worth more to a child than two parents at war under one roof.

And my sister if your husband is raising his hand against you every single day, please run. Your life is not a sacrifice for a broken marriage. Endurance has limits, and wisdom knows when enough is enough. Seek help, seek safety, and never let anyone convince you that suffering is the same as commitment.

Marriage is a beautiful covenant when two people truly commit to it but it must be built on mutual respect, shared responsibility, and genuine love. Without these three, the wedding was just a party.

About the Author
My name is Ogundipe AyoTunde John, also known as Japp. I am a Brand Ambassador at iFly2Canada and the Operational Manager of Market iFly2Canada — a platform I founded to connect farmers, especially poultry farmers, to a reliable and nationwide market.

Whether you are a small-scale farmer or a bulk buyer, we are here to serve you. Reach us via:

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Diary of a Chicken Seller is a content series by Japp raw, real, and rooted in the everyday truth of life, love, and business.