Muhammad salisu daneji

A Maasai man walks into a bank in NAIROBI and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to DUBAI on business for four weeks and needs to borrow 5,000.

The bank officer tells him that bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the maasai man hands over the keys to a brand new Mercedes Benz S class 500 parked on the street in front of the bank.

Produces the log book and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the maasai for using a KSH 15 Million Mercedes Benz as collateral against a 5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drives the Mercedes Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Four weeks later, the maasai returns, repays the 5,000 and the interest, which comes to 150.41.

The loan officer says :
'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business & this transaction has worked out very nicely but we are a little puzzled.

While you were away, we checked you out & found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow 5,000?'

The Masai man replies: 'Where else in NAIROBI can I park my car four weeks for only 150.41 and expect it to be there when I return?'

😂🤣😅Mukyakyata😅🤣😂
Wani dan fashine yaje super market zaiyi fashi zuwansa keda wuya. Saiya sami manager yasaka masa bindiga akansa yacewa ma,aikatanwajen s**awo masa kudi ko ya harbi manager sai managern yace karku bashi wlh bindigar wasace.sai barawon yace wlh bata wasabace sai managern yace to bani ingani saiyabashi sai managern yaga bata wasa bace saiya maidawa barawon bindigar sai yace kaikubashi wlh ta gaskece😂🤣
Shin waye hamago acikinsu
Kuyi share zuwa wasu group domin nishadi.......👅

NEMAN AURE 2.
Wani Saurayi ne yana son wata yarinya, rannan sai ya tafi don su gaisa da mahaifinta, domin idan ya amince ya turo iyayensa a yi maganar aure. Ya isa gidan surukan nasa yana shan taba. Ga yadda hirarsu ta kwashe da mahafin yarinyar:
Saurayi: Baba ina kwana?
Baba: Lafiya lau, ashe da ma kana shan taba?
Saurayi: A’a, ba halina ba ne. Na saba ne idan na sha giya ba na jin dadi, sai na sha taba.
Baba: Tabdi! Wato har giya ma kake sha ke nan?
Saurayi: A’a, idan na je gidan rawa ne kawai nake sha.
Baba: To, har gidan rawa kake zuwa?
Saurayi: Eh! Amma da can ba na zuwa, sai da na dawo daga gidan yari ne na fara zuwa.
Baba: Gidan yari fa ka ce, kai kuma me ya kai ka can?
Saurayi: kaddara ce ta sa na je, kisan kai na yi.
Baba: Kisan kai, wa ka kashe?
Saurayi: Wani mahaifin budurwata na kashe saboda na tambayi auren ’yarsa ya hana ni.
Baba: Kai, Lale marhabin da saurayin ’yata. Gobe ka turo iyayenka mu yi maganar aure. (Mahaifin ya yi haka ne saboda tsoro, ya ji zancen kisa).

Wani bafulatani ne ya je asibiti wajen likita domin a duba shi sai ya tafi da robar Lacasera rike a hannun shi, da shigarsa wajen likitan sai yace wa likitan yallabai amshi wannan robar kasha kaji abinda ke ciki, sai likitan ya amsa dama ya san bafulatanin da wauta sai yace wa bafulatanin nas ha amma babu zaki kodai ruwa ka kara wa lemun? Sai bafulatanin nan ya ce a’a, nima robar na tsinta a kan hanya shine nayo fitsari a ciki saboda na kawo maka kasha kaji ko inada ciwon sugar, to amma naji dadi da kace babu zaki nasan kana nufin ba ni da ciwon sugar kenan. Idan kai ne likita me za ka ma bafulatanin??

KISHIYA A KASAR HAUSA, wata musulma ce tayi kawance da wata Kirista a social media har takai suna ziyartar Juna, ran nan sai wannan musulmar take shawartar kawarta da ta amshi musulunci sai kawar tace ta yarda amman da sharadi idan har zata amince mata ta auri mijinta saboda yana da kamun kai, ga kudi, ga kyau ga ilmi ga.... Sai musulmar tace ke wasa fa nake maki ai damu da ku duk lalube ake kawai kirike naki yama fi dacewa dake.

Wani Saurayin Matashi Dan Kwalisa Mai Ji Da Zamani Ne Yayi Zufa Sosai
Gurin Neman Wayarsa Dayake Zargin Ta Bata Yanata Lalube Da Cikin Duhun
Dakinsa Da Torchlight Din Wayar Dai Dayake Zargin An Sace.
Hankalinsa Yayi Matukar Tashi Akan Batar Wayar Kamar Zaiyi Kwalla
Saboda Damuwa, Abokinsa Dake Tare Dashi Shima Ya Tayashi Neman
Wayar Adakin Cikin Damuwa Da Nuna Rashin Jin Dadin Faruwar Lamarin.
Bayan Akalla Mintuna 45 Suna Laluben Wayar Sun Birkita Ko Ina Cikin
Dakin Amma Basuga Wayar Ba Chan Sai Wayar Dayake Haskawa Da Ita
Tayi Ringing
(karfa ku manta wayar da yake nema itace dai ahannunsa yake haskawa
gurin nemanta)
Bayan Wayar Tayi Ringing Ne Saiya Amsa Wayar Cikin Bacin Rai Yace Wa
Wanda Yakirashi Awayar
AFUWA ZAN KIRAKA ANJIMA INA NEMAN WAYATA NE BATA TAYI
Cikin Fushi Ya Kashe Wayar Yaci Gaba Da Neman Wayar Tasa Kutuna Fa
Yan Uwa Ya Amsa Waya Da Wayar Dayake Ta Nema Bayan Kuma Itace
Ahannunsa Yakunna Fitilarta Yana Kuma Nemanta.
Sai Kawai Ya Yanke Shawarar Ya Kira Wayar Da Yake Nema Da Wayar Dake
Hannunsa Bayan Ya Kirane Yaga Line Busy
Cikin Fuskar Damuwa Yajuyo Yadubi Abokin Nasa Yace BABA Mance Da
Wayar Nan Kawai Ansace Ta Barawon Ma
HAR YA KASHE WAYAR
SAY NO TO DRUGs 🤣😂😂🤣

Mahawara)
Kaine kana Tafiya,Sai ka tsinci Makudan kudade acikin jaka
kimanin Naira Milyan Ashirin (20,000000)
Sai aka gane suna wajenka,
Akayi akayi ka mayar Kaqi.
Sai aka Yankema hukuncin shekara Goma a magarkama.
Bayan ka yi shekara tara da Wata sha Daya kenan saura
wata daya ka kafita daga Magarkama,
Sai mamanka ta gane inda ka 6oye kudadennan.
Kawai sai Ta sankamesu ta baiwa Hukuma tace:
Ga kudadenku Ku sakarmun Yaro na
Wai idan kaine ya Zakayi????

Da da uba
Wani Bazazzage ne ya kira dansa da yake karatu a jami’a. Ga yadda hirarsu ta kasance:
Baba: Musa, kana
ina ne yanzu haka?
Yaro: Baba, ina dakin makaranta a kwance.
Baba: Madalla! Na ji ana cewa dalibai suna ta
zanga-zanga da kone-kone a makarantarku, to wallahi kar ka kuskura ka bi su ka san dai irin tarbiyyar gidanku.
Yaro: Idan Allah Ya yarda ba zan bisu ba baba.”
Baba: Yauwa dan arziki sai an jima.
Bayan minti 15, ya sake kiran yaron ya ce da shi: “Wai mene ne dalilin yin wannan zanga-zangar?
Yaro: Wai saboda hukumar makaranta ta kara mana kudin
makaranta daga Naira dubu 30 zuwa Naira dubu 300.
Baba: Iye! Yanzu kai kana
ina?
Yaro: Ina kwance a daki.
Baba: Ashe kai mahaukaci ne? Tashi ka bi su!

'NIGERIA SAI A HANKALI
Anyi hatsari a wani t**i. Mutane 5 s**a jikkata, mutane 6 s**a mutu. Sai Ministan lafiya yayi
alkawarin naira dubu biyar ga duk wanda ya jikkata. Naira miliyan 6 ga duk wanda ya rasa ransa. Da jin haka sai daya daga cikin wadanda s**a jikkata yayi zunbur ya tashi ya kwanta cikin matattu. Sai daya daga cikin matattun ya ce
Mallam karka kawo mana rudu, an rigada an'irgamu. Ka tashi ka koma cikin wadancan.

GODIYAR ANGO.

Wani ango ne ana walimar bikinsa a gaban ’yan uwa da abokan arziki, bayan an kammala sai aka ce ya tashi ya yi jawabin godiya. ANGO: Godiya ga Malam Hashimu dillalin gidaje, wanda ya ba mu aron gidan da za mu zauna kafin mu samu na haya. Ba zana taba mantawa da Hajiya Tasallah Mai Adashi ba, wadda ta ba ni daukar farko don in kai kudin auren. Godiya ga Asabe Dillaliya, wadda ta ba mu bashin atamfofi da shaddodi da muka saka a lefe. Allah Ya saka wa kanwata Basariyya, da taimakonta ne na fita kunya, inda ta ba mu aron akwatunan lefenta muka saka kayan a ciki, bisa yarjejeniyar mayarwa bayan an gama biki da mako 2. Allah Ya bar zumunci, Ya ba mu ikon cika alkwurran da muka dauka. Ba zan manta Atiku Mai Wanki Da Guga ba, da ya ba ni aron kaya domin in saka a wannan rana. Mun gode.

SAURAYI DA BUDURWA 1.
Wani saurayi ne da budurwarsa s**a yi hira kamar haka:
Saurayi: Ladidi an tashi lafiya?
Budurwa: Ta yi biris kamar ba ta ji shi ba.
Saurayi: Ladidi an kusa daura mana aure amma har yanzu ba ki daina yi min wulakanci ba.
Budurwa: Ta sake biris.
Saurayi: Dama ba wani abu ne ya kawo ni ba illa in tambaye ki ko kin iya tuki. Domin ina son matata ta kware a tuki
Budurwa: Nan da nan ta amsa cewa Tanimu ke nan shi ya sa nake matukar sonka.
Saurayi: Uhmm…
Budurwa: To wace irin mota za ka saya min?
Saurayi: Mota kuma?
Budurwa: Eh mana, ba yanzu ka tambaye ni ko na iya tuki ba?
Saurayi: Ni fa tukin tuwo nake nufi don wani masoyina ne ya ba ni kyautar buhun masara.