REALM

Ecclesiastes 7:9 (KJV)
“Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.”

Marriage will test your patience, but anger should never become the language of your home. Couples will disagree, misunderstand each other, and sometimes say things that hurt. However, being quick to anger can turn a small disagreement into a major conflict.

Before you react, pause. Listen before responding, and seek to understand your spouse rather than trying to win every argument. Remember, you are not enemies; you are partners building one life together.

Do not allow temporary anger to make you say permanent words or make decisions you may regret. Choose patience over provocation, forgiveness over resentment, and peace over pride.

A strong marriage is not one without disagreements; it is one where both partners learn how to handle disagreements with love, wisdom, and self-control.

5 Ways to Respect Your Spouse Beyond Words - Sola and Nike Ajayi

Respect in marriage is more than saying “I respect you.” It is revealed in how you treat your spouse, especially when you disagree, feel hurt, or are under pressure.

1. Listen without dismissing their feelings.
Give your spouse room to express themselves without interrupting, mocking, or immediately trying to prove them wrong. Listening communicates, “Your thoughts matter to me.”

2. Honour their boundaries and individuality.
Marriage does not mean losing your identity. Respect your spouse’s personal space, opinions, friendships, interests, and legitimate boundaries. Love should create room for individuality.

3. Speak well of them, especially in public.
Avoid embarrassing, insulting, or ridiculing your spouse before family, friends, colleagues, or online audiences. Even when correction is necessary, choose a private and respectful approach.

4. Consider their needs when making decisions.
Respect means recognising that your choices can affect another person. Before making major decisions, seek your spouse’s perspective and work toward solutions that consider both of you.

5. Keep your promises and protect their trust.
Reliability is one of the strongest expressions of respect. Do what you say you will do, keep private matters private, and avoid actions that deliberately damage your spouse’s confidence in you.

Respect is not merely a word spoken during peaceful moments. It is a daily choice demonstrated through listening, consideration, self-control, honesty, and honour. When both partners consistently feel valued and heard, love has a stronger foundation to grow.

BEYOND BEAUTY AND COOKING: WHAT REALLY MAKES A WOMAN A WIFE? - Sola and Nike Ajayi

Beauty may attract a man, and good cooking may make the home enjoyable, but neither alone makes a woman a great wife. Marriage is deeper than appearance or domestic skills. A wife is not simply a woman who wears a wedding ring, prepares meals, or keeps the house.

What truly matters is character. A good wife understands that marriage requires wisdom, respect, emotional maturity, loyalty, patience, communication, and a willingness to grow. She knows how to express her thoughts without tearing her husband down and how to disagree without destroying the bond.

A wife should be a partner, not merely a performer of duties. She contributes to the vision of the home, supports her husband, maintains her purpose, and understands that both partners have responsibilities. She builds trust through honesty and consistency.

Beyond beauty is character. Beyond cooking is companionship. Beyond the wedding ring is commitment. Beyond the role is friendship.

A woman does not become valuable because she meets every expectation placed on a wife. Her value is reflected in who she is, how she loves, communicates, handles challenges, and builds her marriage.

The question is not only, “Can she cook?” or “Is she beautiful?” The deeper question is: “Does she have the character, wisdom, and commitment to build a healthy marriage?”

A strong marriage is built by two people who choose love, respect, growth, and partnership every day.

BEYOND MONEY: WHAT REALLY MAKES A MAN A HUSBAND? - Sola and Nike Ajayi

A man does not become a husband simply because he has money, pays every bill, or can provide everything his wife needs.

Consider the experience recently shared by a woman who revealed that when she got married, her husband was broke and jobless. For the first few years, she carried the bills and supported the family financially. Yet, despite her being the one providing financially, she still respected him as her husband.

Why?

Because being a husband is bigger than being a breadwinner.

Money is important in marriage. A responsible man should desire to work, provide, protect and contribute to the wellbeing of his family. But when we reduce a man's entire identity as a husband to his income, we create a dangerous standard.

A husband is also a man who accepts responsibility, provides direction, protects his home, keeps his word, makes wise decisions, serves his family, takes initiative and is willing to grow.

Ladies, supporting your husband during a difficult season does not automatically make you his mother. The real question is: Is he responsible? Is he growing? Is he leading? Is he committed to building something with you?

There is a huge difference between a man who is temporarily struggling and a man who has permanently embraced irresponsibility.

A temporary lack of money can be overcome. But a lack of character, responsibility and vision can destroy a marriage, even when money is available.

So before you ask, “How much does my husband earn?” ask a deeper question:

“What kind of man is he becoming?”

Because money can help a man provide, but character, responsibility, love and leadership are part of what makes him a husband.

Today's family discuss

Good morning sir, I got married to my high school lover,though we both went to different universities and graduated at different times, Providence still brought us together.

What I enjoyed most in my marriage is the love that my mother in-law has for me,she loved me to the extent that whenever I reported my husband to her, she will practically beat him up, when I experienced this once, I stopped reporting him to her.

However, I usually threatened him that I will report him so that he can stop hurting me. My husband love, respect and fear his mother to the highest level. He wasn't happy that the woman loved me that much, but he can't do anything.

I never lacked anything, my mother in-law didn't allow me to know prices of baby cares whenever I give birth, she will leave her shop to come and cater for me. Then she secured a job for me with One of her friends that owns a company.

When it became obvious that I couldn't combine paid employment with taking care of children, she advised that I come to join her in her shop, and she allowed me to handle One of her shops.

By the way my mother in-law sells clothes and she has three big shops, after I have stayed with her for over a year in the shop, she just told me to manage one of other two shops and we get on very well. I never cheated her and she too never take undue advantage of me.

Then all of a sudden, my mother in-law just fell ill and we began to take her to hospitals, when she wasn't getting well, I left the shop for one of her workers and stayed permanently with her. By this time my husband has started showing me shege, but I was too busy with mummy to even complain.

Then, after three years of sickness, when two of mummy's shops have been closed due to lack of funds, she eventually died. Oh My goodness!! That was the worst time of my life. My greatest supporter was gone.

We buried her,after which my husband began to seriously brutalized me, he will beat me and also carry women anyhow.

Before mummy died she instructed me to take charge of her shop and I wanted to go and do the needful when I saw my husband came there with another woman to come and handle the shop .

I have gotten experience and some of mummy's money was still with me, I know where mummy buys goods from and almost all our customers knows me personally, when my husband refused for me to handle mummy's shop and he also doesn't take good care of me and the children again after mummy's death, I decided to open my own shop independently and start the business.

I got a shop without his knowledge, went to buy goods there,then I told him that I've just gotten a shop and I want to start doing my business. My husband told me that I should pick either the business or our marriage, that if I start that shop I should consider the marriage over. What do you think sir?

Me: how many children do you have?
She: we have two children
Me: Are they going to school?
She: Yes
Me: who is paying their school fees
She: My husband
Me: Does he give you money for upkeep?
She: No,he will just give me money whenever he wants to eat something special.
Me: what kind of job does he do?
She: he is into aluminum,he collect contracts for houses.
Me: The woman he brought, was he married to her?
She: No, but she's his girlfriend,he stays most times with her.
Me: how do you know that?
She: he told me.

Okay friends, here we go again, let's do justice to this without going against the rules, don't cuss, don't curse, don't use foul words. Just proffer solution or waka pass.

Dear parents, Children may forget many things you bought for them, but they will remember how their parents treated each other.