Master Nz

Interview: reverse a binary tree, explain Big O, implement Dijkstra’s.
Day 1 on the job: why isn’t this div centering? 😭
The gap is criminal.

Task: validate an email address.
My regex: ^[a-zA-Z0-9_.+-]+@[a-zA-Z0-9-]+\.[a-zA-Z0-9-.]+$
Still wrong somehow.
Regex was invented to humble us. 😤

“What did you do yesterday?”
Me: spent 7 hours on a bug that turned out to be a typo
Me out loud: “Made good progress on the feature.” 🙂
Standups are just lying practice.

Week 1: “Almost done.” Week 3: “Almost done.” Week 6: “Almost done.”
Week 8: starts over from scratch
Almost done is a state of mind. 🧘

Year 1: “I’m a fraud.”
Year 5: “I’m a fraud.”
Year 10: “I’m a fraud.”
Turns out this is just the job description. Welcome. 🤝

Spent 3 days building a perfect feature.
Senior dev’s only comment: “nit: extra space on line 47”
My feature works flawlessly but sure, the space. 👍

Development ✅ Testing ✅ Staging ✅
Production: “Cannot read properties of undefined”
Production is a different dimension entirely. 🌀

“I want something like Facebook. Budget: $200. Timeline: next week.”
Sir, Facebook has 70,000 engineers. 🙂

Normal devs: branch, PR, review, merge.
Me at 11:58pm Friday: pushes directly to main
No thoughts. Head empty. Deploy. 🚀

You: 10 lines of code.
node_modules: 180,000 files, 340MB.
I just wanted to center a div. 😶