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Unschooling a 4 (now 5)year old boy in Lagos, Nigeria #raiseagnys
22/12/2025
You see ehn, I was just trying to cook dinner. That’s all. Ordinary fish stew. But somehow, I ended up in an impromptu biology class — led by my 5-year-old son, with Grandma providing moral support and side commentary.
Now, a bit of background: every time we buy fresh fish, I let my son “inspect” it. It started as a way to keep him busy while I cook, but it’s become our little science ritual. He checks the scales, opens the mouth, peers into the gills like a mini professor with invisible lab goggles.
We also live in an area that's part of a bird migration route — so birdwatching has become our evening hobby. Daily, birds of all shapes and sizes land in our compound to drink water or build nests. So yes, nature is our backyard teacher.
Anyway, back to the fish.
I just brought out this fine fresh tilapia when my son, after examining its teeth, pointed to the fins and said confidently in Yoruba,
“Mummy, ẹsẹ ẹja ni wọ̀nyí”
(“Mummy, these are the fish’s legs.”)
I looked at him and started rethinking what I'd been taught in school, Grandma — who’d been paying attention — exclaimed, “Ah! That’s true o! Why didn’t I ever think of it?”
Then she launched into a full explanation based on our Planet Earth documentaries on YouTube: “They always show the fish standing on the seabed! It’s true now — those fins must be their legs!”
At that point, the kitchen became a classroom.
We talked about how every living thing needs a structure — bones, spine, water, balance — the whole thing. I showed him the fish’s backbone and compared it to his spinal cord.
Then I told him something that made him pause:
“When you were in my tummy, you looked like a tadpole too. You even lived in water for nine months.”
He looked completely amazed. “So I used to swim inside you?”
I said, “Exactly! Maybe that’s why you love showering with water all over your face — eyes open like you’re still under the sea!”
Grandma just burst out laughing. “Ah, science can sweet like this? When we were small, they didn’t teach us like this o!”
And she was right. Growing up, science was all about memorizing notes, not discovering wonder. But standing there, fish in one hand and curious child in front of me, I realized — this is what learning should feel like.
Real. Funny. Messy. Smelling faintly of tilapia.
So yes, dinner took a little longer, and my kitchen still smells like Lagos Island fish market. But my son learned about anatomy, balance, and evolution — in Yoruba, no less.
Deciding to integrate a love for learning without a rigid structure or curriculum might be daunting when you commence homeschooling. Telling someone on a similar journey to flow with the tide may also sound crazy. I say crazy because we're different in terms of our goals and objectives behind our homeschooling journey.
I love learning without a curriculum in place as my child has the opportunity to learn about different things he's interested in. There are days when he spends a considerable amount of time pondering what to build with his magnetic tiles.
Sometimes, early morning bathing takes a backseat, but I don't mind.
He consults his pamphlet and proceeds to build whatever prototype he has in mind. Through this, he's learning mathematical concepts and geometry.
He finds answers to questions that arise from what he's building. I only observe and put in if he asks; otherwise, he's left alone to figure it out. Might his learning approach change along the line? Sure, it might at each stage.
However, I can see the benefits of moving along at his pace.
02/10/2025
There we were seated at the dining table and watching a documentary on the recent infrastructural development in Nairobi, Kenya.
It was an overview of what some sections looked like prior to what it is now.
Along the line, my son asked a question. I wasn't sure if I heard him correctly and asked him to repeat his question. He said 'why are people sleeping on the floor in the market?' Don't they have houses to sleep in? Besides they should be sleeping on a bed.
At that moment I was filled with pride he had finally come into his own. I knew he was making an observation while asking a question at the same time. It was a good time to answer his question.
I began by praising him for observing and asking telling him it's a key quality trait for developing solutions to a social problem. I explained that life does not travel in a straight line. While an unfavorable situation might not be pleasant, it can be overcome from the mind coupled with doing what is right to overcome a challenging state.
If this is the only thing I have achieved through homeschooling, I am glad but I know there are still many more surprises in store.
19/09/2025
Is there a technique for teaching young kids to read? None that I know from experience as an unschooling mom. Just pick up a book and read to your child.
The only thing stopping you is if you never cultivated a love for reading. It'll be difficult to replicate this culture in your child as kids learn through observation.
Keep it simple.
Buy short stories to begin with. Start small and gradually scale as the months go by.
I have seen books on 'teaching kids how to read'. There's nothing technical or difficult about reading. Pick up a book and read.
Start small,
Start slow,
Start from somewhere.
You'll eventually fall into a routine that works for you and your child.
No need in reinventing the wheel.
Your child will take it up from there.
If you will develop a love for learning not education in your child, every other thing he or she needs to learn will sprout from this single act.
He was doodling this afternoon when he switched off to mentioning a word out loud. He opened up a new page and started writing out each word independently. If there's a letter he hasn't figured out, he'll request assistance.
We've been on this activity for thirty minutes, self initiated. The letters he requires assistance with are A, Z,S,U and K. The rest he has figured out.
Initially when I commenced reading, it was thirty minutes daily but we've gone beyond this to an hour or more of daily reading.
Out of this has grown a love for writing, art and numbers. Children are born learners. All that's required is to develop a love for learning through reading and the rest will come when nature is ready.
At least he'll put this to good use when we're on our next vacation by December.
Wondering how to read fiction books to your child in your desired indigenous language? This is my experience.
For the past two months, independent reading is the new norm. My role has transitioned from being a frequent reader to an occasional one.
My son is at the stage where he wants a literal translation of whatever he reads daily in Yoruba.
I have made the transition to an interpreter of a sort.
He reads a page in English while I translate the same words to Yoruba as he listens in rapt attention. This learning stage was self initiated and caught me unaware.
However, I'm going with the flow as this is also learning. As he makes the translation in his mind he drives the questions and answers independently while weaving extra layers into the story he's reading. All I'm required to do is nod and say yes or no.
I guess when he's gotten a mastery of reading his storybooks in Yoruba language, we'll move onto the next phase.
Writing was at the back burner for some few weeks but with a new pack of colourful pens, he's back to daily practice.
Raising a child isn't a walk in the park. It takes love, grit, resilience, courage and consistency. While these factors will aid your journey, it's also best to incorporate solitude for your kids. Solitude is a key factor as it gives kids room to listen to their thoughts and air it out.
It's also a great avenue for connecting with their intuition.
Having quiet times is also helpful in building a great attitude in young children.
It's something I have taken for granted. Having temporary visitors in my home for the long school break has made me stop and observe.
When you have temporary visitors, there's a lack of quiet moment as everyone is in each other's business. Your internal environment becomes noisy and chaotic. This distortion impacts your child. Daily routines are almost tossed out. Family members wonder why you're not allowing your son to stay up late and why you stick to a consistent course.
It has been a hot mess but we're back to solitude and quietness. The extra attitude on his part has toned down and we're back to our daily routines.
It begins with "FEAR '
The news is all around us (that's if you're listening to it since I don't '
Global mainstream media with the loudest voices scream at the top (you know you have a choice and you can mute them OR stop subscriptions)
How AI is going to take away our jobs and livelihood
How you'll lose if you don't embrace AI and it's utilization
Why you must embrace the use of AI as a tool for your child's education
It"s' one gibberish or the other from so-called experts.
The message is loud and clear
Get on the bus or you'll be left out.
How do we respond? We bundle up children for AI , coding and robotics.
We do not stop and think why we're all behaving like a herd of sheep.
Some years back, the rage was about how a degree in computer science was the golden ticket
The scale has since changed to a degree in computer science is insufficient to land a great job
What are these kids to do?
Take a break and listen to your intuition. Nothing beats the experience of doing.
Nature knows what your child requires in his/her learning experience.
Don't join the mad rush.
Listen to yourself.
15/08/2025
We've been busy for the past few weeks. It's a bull run on the Nigerian stock exchange and the situation presented the learning experience he requires.
I have focused on giving him room to learn as much as he can about the market. This includes listening to a live webinar while playing.
It's gratifying to know how much he learns during his daily nighttime conversation over the phone with my younger sister who lives in another country. He gives her a lowdown of what we bought while alerting her on stocks that are at a current high.
There are discussions on what stocks were recommended for the week. I recently opened up a minor account for him. We bought a stock for him that's appreciated by 150% within four weeks.
Tracing has been pushed to the back burner as he has commenced freehand writing on plain paper.
Let's see where we go from here.
31/07/2025
Waiting
No one tells you the role of waiting or how important it is
The beauty of waiting and how it can test your patience
At the start your urge is to cajole or bribe
You pull out all the tricks in your hat but your child does not budge
Try hurrying them along and you'll hit a brick wall
Your child knows when he or she is ready for the next step
Not you
But the beauty of waiting for each milestone to occur naturally cannot be quantified
Because once you learn how to wait
You can be sure of the oncoming quantum leap that'll occur
So you're homeschooling and not familiar with waiting?
It's nature's best gift for a child
Don't hurry them along, just let them be
Children are limitless
I could wax an album on this
But waiting rewards your patience
Be still and wait.
At 2 years old, he showed an interest in learning ironing. While I was ironing clothes that morning, he repeatedly pulled at the iron, prompting me to caution him about the heat, but he persisted. To illustrate the heat of an iron, I instructed him to touch the tip and was amused when he sprang back upon touching it.
There is still a tiny scar on his hand to remind him. After that experience, he continued to practice throughout the years. At 5, he has mastered the skill to an extent. When his clothes are dry, I plug in the iron and guide him on adjusting the settings. He then proceeds to iron his clothes.
What is he learning through this process? The relationship between heat and cold, Patience, consistency, paying attention and honing a skill.
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