Thrive Behavioral Health

A suh it guh sometimes.

Like nothing even happened🤷🏽‍♂️😂 #fblifestyle

This is so powerful. For those who've gone through r**e or other interpersonal trauma and feel badly that they didn't right back, I hope this helps.

👉 It’s common for someone who has survived any form of attack… …(physical, sexual, verbal, war zones, and even non-human threats like natural disaster, anything wherein it was not possible to escape that threat) to ‘beat themselves up.’ 😞 Because they wanted to fight and defend, but they could not. They were helpless to save themselves, or those around them. This LACK of action talked about in this clip happens because when one is under severe threat, and they know they can’t fight back, run away, or engage to diffuse the threat (whether that’s coming from a person or a situation) the next option* on the polyvagal spectrum is to freeze. 🥶 *So freeze is actually a BLEND of the fight/flee and shutdown responses. Then, if the threat remains and the individual or animal is still alive, the next survival strategy is to collapse (aka: full parasympathetic shutdown < where a portion of our vagus nerve comes in). 📌 The more we can educate ourselves and others about how our nervous system ACTUALLY works, and that this ‘lack of action’ is not a sign of weakness, or our brain not working properly, but a real biological survival strategy, the better off we will all be. If YOU have survived sexual assault or other forms of inescapable attack, working with your nervous system and learning how to come out of that survival physiology is something that I cannot recommend highly enough. Learn about the nervous system and healing sexual trauma via a somatic/nervous system approach by watching this popular long-form video I did a few years ago on this exact topic: https://irenelyon.com/2023/05/21/healing-sexual-trauma-a-somatic-nervous-system-approach-2/

Just because something has always been done a certain way doesn’t mean you have to stick with it. If parenting feels overwhelming, whatever’s happening now isn’t helping. These are the 6 things that ACTUALLY moved the needle for us. I’ll be diving into each of them deeper inside my free Skool community…coming soon. If you want to stay in the loop, follow me and watch my stories.

This is so true.

When you are in love with the theory of what you want it to be it always blinds you to the reality of what it really is! When you leave one door cracked, you’re keeping yourself stuck. Stuck in the past. Stuck in false hope. Stuck in a cycle that’s breaking you instead of building you. So many of you are trapped in relationships not because they’re good for you, but because you’re in love with the hope of what could be. Hope that blinds you to reality. Hope that convinces you one day they’ll change. That if you just love them harder, hold on longer, or prove your worth, they’ll finally give you what you need. But let’s be real—if you have to hope for someone to change, they probably won’t. And even if they do, it shouldn’t take your suffering to make it happen. You can’t open new doors when your hands are still gripping the old ones. The longer you hold onto potential, the longer you delay your own peace. Close the door. Lock it if you have to. The right one won’t require you to beg, break, or betray yourself just to keep it open. When you are ready to heal I'm ready to help. Comment 'discover' to set up a 45min discovery call with me where we can discuss what's going on and how you can heal.

How Trauma therapy works

Healing doesn't erase trauma- it shrinks its impact and makes room for more of the good stuff.  what happens in #traumatherapy can be hard to describe. Even after years of studying it, and being *in* it, I still find myself reaching for metaphors. this #doodle is one that has helped me: Originally scribbled in the margins of my #psychology gradschool readings, this illustration helped me make sense of how, through good therapy, #childhoodtrauma (or any trauma) doesn’t vanish- but it begins to take up less space inside us. When that happens, we have more capacity for #connection #secureattachment , for positive feelings, for self-respect and care. The first square in this visual shows what it can feel like when trauma is taking up nearly all the space inside the Self and crowding out everything else. The second square shows what can happen when therapy helps lessen trauma’s impact: the trauma is still there, but there’s SO much more room for other parts of us to grow and take up space. I love this model because it’s honest. It doesn’t erase trauma or pretend it’s all about “moving on.” Instead, it leaves room for complexity. It acknowledges that trauma may always be part of our story, but with good care and support and #traumahealing , it doesn’t have to be our only story. If this resonates, you can download a printable on Patreon or order an art print from my shop (still can't figure out how to get through the red tape to put a link on tiktok, but my domain is my username!) #traumarecovery #cptsd #ptsdsurvivor #mentalhealtheducation #healingfromtrauma

Some language to help with boundaries.

Sometimes your standards will remind you that you’ve been asking for the bare minimum. Aggressive verbiage is never an indicator of applied knowledge. Most people throwing empathy around only use it when someone no longer enables the behavior that indicates that they lack it. Know the history of how you move before you allow someone to convince you otherwise. Standards are not a punishment and will only be presented that way by people who see being with themselves as a punitive… Standards require discipline, discernment, and dependability and they also invite healthy living. #itsjustinformation #isaiahfrizzelle

Between brain development, social stress, and surging hormones, it’s easy for teens to react with disrespect. If you meet that reactivity with anger, defensiveness, or demands, the whole situation can become combative.  Teens often speak before they think. Quite literally! The part of the brain that moderates impulses is still under construction. They often instantly regret what they said, but embarrassment and shame may keep them from admitting it (or make them double down if angrily confronted). The next time you hear your teen say something out of character or out of line, try one of these approaches: 👉🏼 “Hmm, did that come out the way you meant it to? Want to try again?” - This “do over” allows them to correct their behavior without shaming them or taking it personally. 👉🏼 “It sounds like you need some space.” - Teens may use verbal sparring to distract from something they don’t want to do or talk about. Stepping back from that kind of interaction shows that you maintain your own boundaries and gives them space to cool down. 👉🏼 “That sounds like frustration talking.” - It’s a normal part of development for their emotions to “take the wheel”, and gently acknowledging when that’s happening, and simply stating the emotions being expressed will help your child differentiate their emotions from their identity. Often, a gentle validation of what they’re feeling, with a subtle acknowledgment that this isn’t who they are is all they need.  👉🏼 “That didn’t sound like you. Is everything okay?” - This gives them the benefit of the doubt and seeks to address the feelings behind the behavior.  ✨Do a mental inventory✨ Ignoring habitual disrespect isn’t a good idea, but if there is a one-off situation, saying nothing can be better than being reactive. Try doing a quick inventory of your teen’s basic needs, and seeing if there might be an opportunity to meet those before addressing the disrespectful behavior. For example: Are they hungry? Did they have to wake up very early so they’re tired? Are they overstimulated for some reason? Etc. Have you struggled with disrespect from your tween or teen? How have you handled it? Any more strategies we could add?