Bioritam

Becoming

George Orwell once said: The most terrible loneliness is not the kind that comes from being alone, but the kind that comes from being misunderstood; the loneliness of standing in a crowded room, surrounded by people who do not see you, who do not hear you, who do not know the true essence of who you are. And in that loneliness, you feel as though you are fading, disappearing into the background, until you are nothing more than a ghost, a shadow of your former self.

It’s that soul-deep ache of being surrounded by people—friends, family, colleagues—yet feeling completely invisible. You may smile, nod, and go through the motions, but inside, you feel a sense of isolation that words can’t fully capture. You feel as though no one truly gets you, as if the truest parts of you are hidden, left unrecognized, while the world only acknowledges the version of you that fits in.

This kind of loneliness hits hard because it isn’t about the absence of people; it’s about the absence of connection. You crave to be seen for who you really are, to have someone understand your soul’s language, your quirks, your dreams, and the complexities of your heart. But when you’re misunderstood, it feels as if there’s an unbridgeable gap between your inner world and the outside one. It’s like standing behind a glass wall, desperately hoping someone will look through and truly see you, only to realize they’re gazing right past you.

In that space of feeling unknown, you start to question yourself. You wonder if you should change, if you should become what the world expects or desires, just to feel a hint of acceptance. But even then, the loneliness doesn’t vanish; it only grows. Because the deeper tragedy is the slow fading of your own essence, the parts of you that you start to hide or let go of, simply to belong. You become a shadow, a ghost of the vibrant self you once were, drifting silently, holding onto the hope that one day, someone might understand.

What makes this kind of loneliness so painful is that it’s not just the longing to be loved—it’s the longing to be known, and loved for being known. For someone to look at the parts of you that are messy, complicated, and even broken, and to say, “I see you. I understand. And I’m here.” It’s the yearning for someone to hear your heart’s quietest whispers and to feel the depths of your soul without judgment or expectation.

Yet, even in that terrible loneliness, there’s a quiet strength. There’s a resilience in holding onto your essence, even when it feels invisible. There’s courage in keeping your light alive, in refusing to let the world’s misunderstanding extinguish the fire within you. You may feel unseen, but the truth is, your uniqueness, your complexity, is what makes you extraordinary. Somewhere, someone will value that. And until then, you can value that.

Sometimes, the journey through being misunderstood leads to a deeper understanding of yourself. It teaches you to embrace who you are, even if the world isn’t ready to. It invites you to find peace in your own company, to nurture the parts of yourself that feel lonely and unacknowledged. And, in time, you may discover that the right connections—the ones that see you, hear you, and know you—come when you least expect them.

So, hold on. Keep your essence alive. Refuse to become a shadow, even if that means standing alone for a while. Your true self deserves to be celebrated, and though the wait may feel long, the beauty of being fully known is worth every moment. Your people—the ones who truly understand your soul—are out there, and when they find you, the terrible loneliness will start to fade. You’ll realize that your essence was never meant to be hidden. It was always meant to shine.

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"Četiri sam dana u Srbiji, najprije u Beogradu, sada i Novom Sadu. Razgovarao sam s desecima ljudi, naslušao se svakojakih sudbina, životnih priča za ispisati knjigu. I, iskreno, po prvi p**a u novinarskoj karijeri ne znam što napisati. Ovo što se večeras događa u Novom Sadu nešto je potpuno nadrealno, nešto što nijedan članak ili televizijski prilog ne može opisati, jedan od onih trenutaka u povijesti kada šutiš i gledaš, osjećaš... Stigao sam u zabludi da Srbi ruše režim Aleksandra Vučića i da ću kao novinar izvještavati o padu jedne diktature. Putem sam shvatio da je to samo trun, zrnce priče o buntu u Srbiji. Ovdje mladi ljudi Vučića uopće ne doživljavaju. Nebitan im je (a to ga najviše boli). Njih nimalo ne zanima tko će biti predsjednik Srbije. Može to biti, kaže mi jedna studentica, Pink Panther. Bitno je da rade institucije. Da se poštuju zakoni. Da se za kazneno djelo ide u zatvor, a ne na visoku poziciju. Da se na ulicama gradova ne gaze ljudi drugačijeg mišljenja. Bitno je da svatko odgovara za svoj rad, za svoju riječ, za svaki svoj potez. Srbi se bune protiv sustava. Protiv bezakonja, protiv kriminala. Ovo nije politička borba, da je tomu tako najbolje pokazuje da studenti nemaju lidera, nemaju politički stav, nimalo ih ne zanima pozicija ni opozicija. Nisu lijevo, nisu desno, što su!? E, to najviše plaši i one političare koji su na vlasti i one koji bi na nju htjeli doći. Jer vide da su ova djeca pametna, artikulirana, načitana i prije svega hrabrija i snažnija nego što je itko mislio. U nekom trenutku ovo će se morati maknuti s ulice i početi rješavati institucionalno. Ali kako? Kako kada ulica ne vjeruje nikome. Ulica traži lustraciju (nemam bolje riječi), katarzu, čišćenje od blata koje se nije nakupilo samo u Vučićevom desetljeću, nego i u onima prije. Studenti, srednjoškolci, mladi... Oni ne traže da Vučić ode, iako je to samo po sebi razumljivo. Oni traže korijensku promjenu, možda i utopiju, apsolutnu demokraciju, gdjekad i anarhiju. Oni traže novi, bolji svijet, bez nacionalizma, bez nepoštenja, bez nasilja. Jesu li u tome naivni? Naravno, klinci su, velikih srca, klinci koji istinski vole svoju zemlju i žele joj dobro. Hoće li svijet zbog njih preko noći postati bolji? Neće, naravno. Ali ako njihova poruka do svakog desetog čovjeka u Srbiji, u Hrvatskoj, bilo gdje na planetu, učinili su više nego svi političari ovih prostora zajedno u trideset, četrdeset, ma pedeset godina... I zato stariji plaču kada ih vide na ulicama. plaču jer vide da nada nije izgubljena, plaču jer su ih krvava stopala studenata podsjetila na snagu koju su i sami nekad imali. Plaču jer godinama nisu plakali, zarobljeni u beznađu i apatiji i razmišljanju kako je onako kako mora biti i mi tu ništa ne možemo."

Tomislav Kukec

p***a ko izda sutra

One has to be extremely alert not to absorb other people's ideas and demands. —Krishnamurti
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We are persuaded or told what to think by famous writers, who have axes to grind. Being very clever and good at words they write, and we read because we are educated, and what we read becomes the truth. We have stopped thinking but we absorb, and so famous writers become very important in our daily activities, also what they think and what they do. First of all, we should be aware of everything; one has to be extremely alert not to absorb other people's ideas and demands. The writers say that wisdom and personal examples are not enough to solve the world's problem. Neither do I think wisdom and personal example will save the world. The writers invariably ask for political action, either of the left or of the right, based on a certain set of ideals, religious, economic or social. Now, what does personal example mean? Invariably it leads to imitation. You have an ideal and you conform to it, and naturally, conformity, imitation or regimentation of thought can never solve the world's problems. Therefore personal example in a great crisis becomes of very little significance. Wisdom cannot be realised through personal example. Wisdom is a thing that is living, real and constantly moving. It is not in a fixed place; it is not learned through books. What is necessary at the present time is not examples, but revolution in thinking, creative thinking. And that revolution cannot take place or be gained by following a few leaders. It can only be gained through you, the individual.

From Collected Works Vol. IV