Dove On The Window

Improving S*xual Intimacy: Husbands

https://youtu.be/oTk1B38bCJQ

Isaiah 62:5, Luke 6:38

Devotional Content:

Husbands, what can you do to improve s*xual intimacy in your marriage? Here are some practical steps that will make a difference.

First, be romantic. That comes easier for some of us than others. My dad was a romantic, so I had a good model. I knew it was important. I just had to figure out what Nancy thought was romantic. I really think the first step is talking to your wife about this. Ask her what she likes. Ask her what she thinks is romantic. Her definition and yours may differ, but you need to do things that she likes. So be a student of your wife. Remember the things she likes. Remember what works and what does not work. You can do this. You can be romantic.

Second, take time with foreplay. We live in this instant-gratification society, and that can often spill over to the s*xual relationship. Foreplay is what gives us time to prepare for the act of in*******se. It piques our senses, and it takes time. Over the course of your marriage, s*x will happen in a number of different ways, at different times, and slowly and quickly. Take the time to enjoy each other with foreplay.

Finally, make yourself “s*xy.” The best idea here is to get input from your wife, but there are some basics: bathe, brush your teeth, shave, exercise, and wear cologne (let her pick it out). Our wives like us to look nice and smell good. It will make a difference in her attraction to you.

Bottom line: Make an effort. It will be worth it, and it will show your wife you really care about her.

Today’s Challenge:

Husbands, how can you be a great student of your wife this week?

Going Deeper:

1. Dr. Kim says that one step husbands can take towards better intimacy with their wives is to be romantic. Husbands, when was the last time you did something romantic for your wife?

2. Foreplay is another important step towards improving your s*xual intimacy. Make a commitment to spend more time being intentional about foreplay.

3. Dr. Kim shares that another great step towards improving your s*xual intimacy is making yourself s*xy for your wife. Husbands, think of 3 things you can do to be intentional about your appearance for your wife.

4. How much time and energy are you willing to spend on improving your s*xual intimacy with your spouse?

5. Make a point to sit down with your spouse this week and talk about what they think is romantic.

Secrets Video Series: "Improving S*xual Intimacy - Husbands" Husbands, what can you do to improve s*xual intimacy in your marriage? Learn more about Awesome Marriage by visiting http://iwantanawesomemarriage.com Connec...

Devotion for Married Couples

20th November, 2020

https://youtu.be/L7gf3whno6Y

Genesis 2:24, Proverbs 5:18,19, Song of Solomon 1:2

Priority

Devotional Content:

Today, in the final video in this plan, Dr. Kim asks Doug and Mel this question, “How do you continue to prioritize your s*x life in your marriage?”

If you are completely honest with each other, how would you rate yourselves on how well you made your s*x life a priority before starting this reading plan? Would you give yourselves a 10, a 1, or somewhere in between? What are you going to do differently moving forward? Where would you like your s*x life to be a year from now? What will it take from each of you to get it there?

God’s plan from Genesis 2 has not changed. Think about that picture of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Naked and unashamed. Completely transparent, open, trusting, and vulnerable. Isn’t that what we all really want? Isn’t God’s plan the very best imaginable? I believe God’s plan has not changed. I believe we can have what Adam and Eve had before sin entered the world. How? Through our relationship with Jesus! We are redeemed and God desires that close relationship with us as individuals and as couples.

Doug talks about the importance of building a strong foundation in your s*x life. It allows you to maintain that close connection no matter what life throws your way. No matter the difficulties you may face don’t settle for less.

Today’s Challenge:

Talk about what it would mean for the two of you to pursue a “naked and unashamed” marriage. What is your first step in that direction?

Going Deeper:

Pray for God’s guidance and wisdom as you work together to build that strong foundation in your s*x life that can withstand the difficulties that life brings.

6 :: S*x How Often

Devotion for Married Couples

19th November, 2020

https://youtu.be/PrIDX_T1QB8

Ephesians 4:25, 1 Peter 3:7

Talking About S*x Together

Devotional Content:

In today’s video, Dr. Kim asks Doug and Mel this question: “How do you talk about s*x together?”

Talking about your s*x life together can be difficult. I have counseled so many couples who have never really talked about s*x. They may like or dislike what is happening but they never share their thoughts. Yet, I think it is essential. It is important to share your needs, wants, and desires. It’s “speaking your truth.” You are each other’s only s*xual outlet and if s*x is to be everything God designed it to be in your marriage, you can’t just roll the dice and hope it works out.

Doug brings up another point that makes a difference. It is the importance of continuing to pursue your spouse. That is God’s design. Part of it is pursuing romance and part of it is the way we live our lives with them each day. Here is my take on that. The better you pursue your spouse outside of the bedroom, the better your s*x life in the bedroom. What are you doing to pursue?

Today’s Challenge:

Share with each other something you would like to be a part of your s*x life together. Then talk together about how to grow your s*xual relationship with each other.

Going Deeper:

How does knowing that you are each other’s only s*xual outlet affect the way you look at your s*xual relationship? How do you honor each other as you learn more about each other and your s*xual relationship together?

5 :: S*x How Often

Devotion for Married Couples

18th November, 2020

https://youtu.be/fpSXw41SK5I

1 Peter 3:3-4, Proverbs 5:15-19

Hurdles

Devotional Content:

In today’s video, Dr. Kim asks Doug and Mel this question, “What are some hurdles you have worked through that improved your s*x life?”

It is interesting how God works. God has a way of making something beautiful out of something that seems terrible to us. The reality is that, at some time, we will all have hurdles that impede our s*x life. It is up to us whether they grow our relationship or hinder it. God’s plan is always growth. For all of us, the way we look on the outside will change over time. From my perspective, it seems women struggle to accept this more than men do. Part of the role of a husband is to help our wives see the beauty we see in them at every stage of their life.

Peter talks about the “imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit”. Proverbs “tells us to enjoy the wife of our youth” for our entire marriage. When we encounter hurdles, we must keep our eyes focused on the big picture of loving each other and enjoying each other for a lifetime. Doug illustrates this well as he talks about a husband pursuing his wife and discovering who she is on the inside. I think this is powerful. For a man, this adds depth to the relationship. For a woman, she sees her husband love her in a way that only he is able to do. It helps us keep our focus where God wants it to be.

Today’s Challenge:

How does pursuing the “imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit” and “enjoying the wife of our youth” apply to you and your marriage?

Going Deeper:

As a couple, what is one hurdle that you have encountered that affected your s*x life? Have you dealt with it? If not, are you willing to begin that now? Can you see how working through this hurdle can actually improve your s*x life?

4 :: S*x How Often

Devotion for Married Couples

17th November, 2020

https://youtu.be/_HA6ZZ9zocc

Proverbs 3:27, Song of Solomon 7:6-12

Making Normal Happen

Devotional Content:

In today’s video, Dr. Kim asks Doug and Mel this question, “What are you doing to make ‘normal’ happen?”

Song of Solomon refutes all the negative preconceived ideas people have about God and s*x. In two different places in the book the couple enjoy the s*xual relationship in marriage together. God is not a prude. He is the one who created s*x. He made our bodies to perfectly fit together. He gives us s*x in marriage as a gift and wants us to enjoy it as a couple.

In meeting with couples and talking about their s*xual relationship, I see so many things that can distract us and keep us from spending this time together. For most couples they are not bad things. It could be work, kids, stress or any number of things that are a part of our lives. Being intentional with s*x in our marriage seems to be a common theme as we look at defining “normal.” For Nancy and I, our s*xual relationship connects us. When life gets in the way of s*x, we both can feel a disconnect. We know we need that to be a regular part of our life and we know the value it brings. For us, making “normal” happen is a priority that we have never regretted.

Today’s Challenge:

Discuss together how s*x is a good gift from a good God. Is there is anything that blocks you from seeing s*x in this way? Reading Song of Solomon together would be a great way for you both to see God’s design for s*x in your marriage.

Going Deeper:

Being intentional about your s*x life can mean one thing to one couple and something different to another couple. What does it mean to you?

3 :: S*x How Often

Devotion for Married Couples

15th November, 2020

https://youtu.be/ZjghkaHhVUA

Ephesians 5:33, 1 Corinthians 7:2-5

What Is Your “Normal”?

Devotional Content:

In today’s video, Dr. Kim asks this question: “What have you decided together is your ‘normal’ for s*x in your marriage?”

The key to deciding what is normal for the two of you in your s*x life is communication. Just like everything else in marriage, being intentional in these conversations makes a difference. When we make assumptions about our spouse concerning s*x, we usually find that our assumptions are off base. Sometimes really off base.

The Bible teaches us that we are to give ourselves to each other. We are to embrace the gift. S*x is to be reserved for marriage, and marriage is to be the only outlet for expressing our s*xual needs. As a couple discusses frequency, they must listen well to each other and together decide on a frequency that meets their needs and at the same time protects their marriage.

Doug says that their s*x life is “a work in progress.” I think that is true for all of us. We go through different seasons in marriage. We change in many ways as individuals over the years of a marriage. Being open and honest with each other is really the only way to navigate through these seasons well and to continue to enjoy the s*xual relationship God has given us in marriage.

Today’s Challenge:

Share with each other one thing that you really like about your s*x life together today. Is it meeting both of your needs? Are you protecting your marriage from outside s*xual temptations?

Going Deeper:

Talk about the season that you are in as a couple. What would you like your normal to be like in this season? What do each of you need to do to make that happen?

1 :: S*x How Often

Devotion for Married Couples

14th November, 2020

https://youtu.be/6yKZR8v_4j0

Matthew 19:26, Jeremiah 32:17, Philippians 4:13, Isaiah 26:4, Deuteronomy 31:8

Dead End

Last week I was driving home. I was coming a different way because I had been in a meeting in a different part of the city. I don’t go that route often because a train track crosses the road at one point and my experience is that the trains that cross there have a million cars (a slight exaggeration). As I approached the tracks, I saw a train was approaching and knew that by the time I reached the intersection the train would be stopping all traffic for some time. I quickly turned down a side street that I thought would lead me to a street that would allow me to go around the train. It would take me a little out of my way, but it kept me moving and would be better than waiting for the train to pass. So first a right turn for a couple of blocks and then a left to take me around the train path. I was feeling really good about outwitting the train and then I came to a sign that said ‘dead end’ but to me it did not look like a dead end. I could see pretty far in front of me. I thought it must be an old sign or was there to keep people from cutting through the neighborhood. With that logic, I went for it. I hate being wrong but I was wrong. The sign said ‘dead end’ and it was a dead end. No way out. Stuck. I turned around and retraced my path back to the train track. The train had passed and traffic was moving.

As we have looked at a number of traffic signs during this two part reading plan, I want to close with this one. Never see your marriage as a dead end. Never give up hope. Stay committed. There is always a solution. Pray for your marriage. Fight together for your marriage. Heed the signs. STOP before you choose po*******hy or infidelity. YIELD to your spouse and fight the battle of selfishness. Stay on the ONE WAY street that God has given you in your marriage. Obey the DO NOT ENTER signs. Go SLOW and embrace your marriage. Do not run past the CAUTION signs. Protect your marriage and BUCKLE UP. Navigate the CURVES together. Finally, know that quitting is not an option. You have the God of the universe on your side. He has the answers that you do not. He puts the marriage relationship right under our relationship with Him. Your marriage never has to be a DEAD END.

Today’s Challenge:

1. What gives you hope in your marriage even when others might quit?

2. When Dr. Kim says that “You have the God of the universe on your side,” how does that change your perspective?

3. What is something that might at first look like a dead end, but with God’s help is not?

Going Deeper:

If you ever feel your marriage is at a DEAD END, will you give it one more shot? God wants to work a miracle. He just needs you to ask Him in!

Day 4 Traffic Signs And Your Marriage Part 2

Devotion for Married Couples

12th November, 2020

https://youtu.be/2e1RdvEqk5w

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, 1 John 5:14-15, Matthew 18:19-20, Hebrews 13:1-2, Hebrews 10:25

Buckle Up

I barely remember riding in cars that did not have seat belts. Then seat belts became standard equipment but no one really used them much. In my family growing up, we wore them when we traveled out of the city but not in the city. Then people began doing studies which showed that seat belts actually saved lives. It was an evolutionary process from no seat belts, to seat belts, to seat belts work. Today there are signs that remind us to ‘buckle up’ but most of us already have before we see the sign. Buckle up: it makes sense and it saves lives.

Do you ‘buckle up’ your marriage? Do you do the things to keep it safe? Here are two suggestions.

First, pray together. I can hear some of you saying, I can’t do that. That would be too weird. Yet, you can do that and yes, at first, it may be weird. People ask me, “what is one thing I can do to improve my marriage?” My answer 100% of the time is pray together. Pray for each other. Pray silently together. Pray out loud together. There is no magic formula. Just start today and pray.

Second, worship together. There is something special that happens when we worship with our spouse. In Genesis 2, we see God spend time with Adam and Eve together. There was something very special about that and it is a model for us. Worship together every week with your spouse. It will make a difference.

Buckle up. Keep your marriage safe. Pray. Worship. Start now.

Today’s Challenge:

1. What are you doing today to keep your marriage safe?

2. If the two of you are not praying together, why not begin today? Keep it simple and stay at the comfort level of the one who is least comfortable.

3. Do you worship together each week. If not, will you commit to begin this weekend?

Going Deeper:

Keeping your marriage safe is really about putting God exactly where He wants to be and that is right in the center of your marriage. Together commit to put Him there and keep Him there every day.

Day 2 Traffic Signs And Your Marriage Part 2

Devotion for Married Couples

11th November, 2020

https://youtu.be/STqAVNoGGLI

Luke 10:38-42, Psalms 62:5-6, Psalms 37:7

Slow

There are traffic signs that tell us to go slow. Sometimes it is for the safety of others. It could be a ‘school zone’ or an area close to a park. If I slow down, I become more aware of what is going on around me. There may be children crossing the street on their way to or from school. At the park, a child may be playing ball and be so caught up in the game that they do not realize that they have chased the ball into the street. By going slow, I can adjust to the situation. I am more aware and able to respond.

There are other times that the ‘slow’ sign is for my safety. There may be a change in road conditions and by going slower, I can make the necessary adjustments. Where I live there is a lot of road construction going on. Going slower keeps me safer in construction areas.

My life is fast paced. There are many days that I do not get everything done that I either need to do or want to do. I get up early, have a quiet time, work out, get dressed and go - and go - and go - all day long. I need to slow down. I need to slow down for others - especially my wife. I need to take time to be with her each day. If I am always on the go, I do not listen well or interact well. Slowing down makes my marriage better.

Slowing down also helps me. Over time a hectic daily schedule is not healthy. My body needs a rest and time to relax. My soul needs a rest and I need more focused time with God where I can really hear what He is telling me.

So the bottom line is slow down. Slow down and embrace your marriage. Slow down and embrace life. What can you do today to slow down and, more important, what is keeping you from doing it?

Today’s Challenge:

1. In your life, what would a sign marked SLOW mean to you?

2. What is one why you could slow down and embrace your marriage?

3. How can you slow down in order to hear what God is saying to you?

Going Deeper:

As you think about the benefits of slowing down, what would keep you from making those changes? How can you overcome those obstacles?

Day 1 Traffic Signs And Your Marriage Part 2 - YouTube

Devotion for Married Couples

6th November, 2020

https://youtu.be/SbWgK1YoH60

Proverbs 19:20, 1 Corinthians 14:40

Introduction

Devotional Content:

We pass them every day. Sometimes we read them and sometimes we do not. Sometimes we obey them and sometimes we do not. Traffic signs are everywhere. They are there to protect, to guide, to warn, and to bring order. We want every other driver on the roads and highways to abide by them. Yet, on the other hand, we want a little flexibility with these signs when it comes to ourselves. If I am in a hurry, I really do not have time to come to a full stop at the STOP sign. If there are no other cars in my line of vision, why do I need to slow down at the YIELD sign? What about the CAUTION sign? After all, I have been driving for a number of years. I don’t need some sign to tell me to be cautious! Traffic signs are everywhere. I just do not want them to get in my way.

What if these signs were in your marriage? Would you read them, obey them, or ignore them? If the signs were there, would you want your spouse to follow them to the letter? What about you? Follow or ignore?

Over the next few days, we are going to look at traffic signs and ask, “What do these traffic signs mean if we apply them to marriage?” Join me. It’s going to be one heck of a ride!

Today’s Challenge:

1. What traffic signs are you most likely to ignore -- or sometimes not obey?

2. What happens if another driver chooses to ignore a traffic sign?

3. What if that other driver’s careless driving impacts you?

Going Deeper:

What would “traffic signs” in your marriage look like?

Day 1 Traffic Signs And Your Marriage Part 1 - YouTube