Sara.M Design

Prompt 5: dance
Conquering my fears
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I wasn't going to do this prompt at first as it involves something out of my comfort zone. I don't "go out dancing" nor jam in my kitchen.
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Even my cat was skeptical at my attempt to do the robot dance.
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It's hard to do something you are not confident in, especially when you compare yourself to other people.
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But I try reminding myself that life is not a competition. It's a single player game where you level up by gaining new skills and collecting points.
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So here is me imagining the world is not on lockdown, the Sun is shining and I am being brave enough to go out to a concert or a festival and move to the music.
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Also leading my cat into a battle against all people's self doubting thoughts.
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@ Manchester, United Kingdom

Prompt 4: guilty pleasure
Cat everthing
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One, if not the first, thing you will find out about me is that I am a (crazy) cat lady. I have always been one.
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So much so, that anything cat themed is irresistible to me. From mugs, pillows, tshirts and jewellery to house decor and a side business project, I have them all. But I always want more.
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It's becoming a "problem". My house and wardrobe are starting to look like a cat gift shop.
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Cats make me happy.
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That's all I can say. No excuses, no making up for it, no shame.
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I love everything cat and when I grow up I want to be Queen of Catland so I can pet all the cats in the world.
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Call me crazy, weird or what have you, I don't care.
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But if you ever want to buy or make something for me, it will be an easy choice. Put a cat face on it. Or an actual cat.
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Prompt 3: decade of your choice
1950s housewife on a Sunday
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The concept of a housewife has never been something I identified with.
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I don't enjoy housework and definitely will not do something because "I am a woman and it's my job to do it"
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But sometimes I feel the pressure. I feel like I am not rising up to society's expectations and I worry I am not good enough.
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My mum has been a housewife for more than 25 years. She raised 3 children while also caring for many farm animals and lots of land. She did it with love, albeit tough love at times, but never questioning her role.
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However, after we have all grown up and left the nest, she felt lost and needed a purpose.
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At 45, she got her first job.
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My god was she proud of being a working woman!
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It seems like she was feeling lesser for not also being a career woman and not "having it all".
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Why is this idea so drilled into us? Why do I have to work full time, cook meals and clean the house all the while looking glamorous and being cheerful?
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Why am I labeled "a rebel, a feminist" for questioning the status quo and not complying?
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Feminism is full of controversy and nowadays is almost synonymous with women are against/ better than men.
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But that is not my definition. It has nothing to do with men.
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Feminism is lifting the limitations and pressures off women and allowing them just be. Whatever. Whoever. Whenever.
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Just be happy my sisters. That's all.
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@ Manchester, United Kingdom

Prompt 2: get dressed up
My boyfriend's shirt, my mum's skirt, my hair accessory
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Dressing up has been quintessential in my life. From making dresses for my dolls to making clothes for my little sister and myself, I have always loved playing around with the concept of expression through garments.
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I wanted to do that as a job.
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I studied fashion design for 3 years and then took on unpaid or very poorly paid jobs in the industry for another 3 years, just to get closer to my dream.
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But along the way that sweet feeling of excitement turned into resentment, loathe and anger.
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When you get close to anything, you start seeing the flaws in it, the dark side, and only after that can you trully say if it's worth it or not.
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I have seen the ugly and my dreams have been shattered.
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I am still hurt. I feel betrayed and lost. Fashion was part of my life just like my family or my friends are.
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"How could it be like this? How could it deceive me like this for so long? How could it do this to me after I have been so dedicated and loyal?"
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Fashion as it is, it's not worth it for me. I had to cut it out of my life. Almost like cutting your own limb due to cancer. It's for the better, but still very painful.
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Who knows, maybe one day I will get back to it. When the wound heals and It changes its ways.
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@ Manchester, United Kingdom

I have been finding it harder to function normally for the past couple of months. I am still struggling.
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I kept on the low, trying to work it out and waiting for this to pass.
But then I realised I can't just show the good moments and the victory and the "success"
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So here I am, surviving.
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No picture of my face, but a representative picture of how I feel.
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Trapped inside myself. My mind running in circles.
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But now I can recognize some good things coming from it:
*I am reflecting on myself, on what I really want and what I can do for the world
*I appreciate and admire people that are ahead of me
*I am grateful for little things
*Struggle is the process that leads forward, to improvement and growth
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I am struggling.
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But I know I will be so much better on the other side.
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FLASH SALE FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

20% off everything in my shop just for today.
However, items are non-refundable and non-exchangable.

Thoughtful jewellery and body chains made in Manchester by SaraMdesigned You searched for: SaraMdesigned! Discover the unique items that SaraMdesigned creates. At Etsy, we pride ourselves on our global community of sellers. Each Etsy seller helps contribute to a global marketplace of creative goods. By supporting SaraMdesigned, you’re supporting a small business, and, ...

There hasn't been much activity on this account lately and that is because I have been very active in real life.
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I am meeting new people, learning about business, thinking about the future and planning to meet goals.
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Despite the anxiety, I am putting myself out there for the world to see. I am daring to take steps forward without knowing exactly where the path is going to lead me.
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I am done with self doubting, pessimistic, limiting mindset. I am not so special that EVERYTHING will go wrong for me. It's not me against the world.
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It is me, as a part of the world. And the Universe is flowing. I am going to relax my neck and shoulders and close my eyes.
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Ride the waves. Enjoy the process. Without searching for a lighthouse.
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So I am sharing my story with you. If you resonate with it, we could hold hands and ride together.
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Today has been a great day.
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I stepped out of my comfort zone and went to a business workshop to learn and network.
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I had to wake up early, walk in the rain to get the bus to a place full of driven, passionate and intimidating people.
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I braced myself for overwhelming feelings of worthlessness, anxiety and confusion.
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When I was younger I used to think of myself as an extrovert, a people's person. But over the past years I turned into a shy, insecure and scared version of myself.
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Somehow I forgot how to reach out to people, open conversations and make connections.
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I sometimes feel trapped and in disbelief at how hard it is now for me to speak up. Is this really me? How did it happen?
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So now I am working on being social again, getting to a version of myself that I like and I am proud of.
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I am grateful to the lady that sparked a conversation with me today. While talking I slowly remembered how great it is to share ideas with others and learn from people's experience and advice.
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Next time, I shall be the one to say hi. To smile. To remind someone else that people are still beautiful and kind and just as scared.
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@ Manchester, United Kingdom

It's scary to go on your own.
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I have been putting off doing jewellery and business officially for over 1 year and a half.
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I have recently told that to a friend and she was surprised to hear that. But I am a scaredy cat.
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I am afraid of the unknown, the lack of control, the rejection, the fail and most of all I am afraid of disappointment.
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Even in my rebelious nature, I have always tried to make people proud of me.
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But now I am growing. I am learning. I am starting to trust.
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Watch me fail. Watch me freak out and stress about everything.
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But always pay attention to the wins. To the tiny steps forward. And to the excitement and passion.
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This is me.
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This is Sara.M
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Throughout history the number 3 has been considered a prophetic number.
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In folklore there were always 3 trials the protagonist had to overcome in order to win the princess. If not, there were 3 brothers fighting over the throne or the inheritance.
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For me, this number reminds me of my family and my childhood.
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We were 3 siblings growing up loving and fighting each other. With me as the eldest.
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I guess that without even realising I made this necklace as a symbol of our relationship.
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My sister and I are very similar, just like pink and red are, but at the same time, we are polar opposites.
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In the centre, there is my brother, the middle child and the only male. He grew up in between the sisters' quarrels and secret games.
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And together we would unite against the parents and the world.
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Symmetrical, yet skewed, just like any story of the past, this necklace will be close to our hearts.
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Summer has already gone.
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But I'm not mad. I am actually content.
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Leaves are changing into a multitude of colours and the breeze is getting chilly, but somehow the heart is getting warmer.
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Maybe I love Autumn for it's wisdom. Maybe it's the nostalgia that just blankets every inch of soul.
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I just love how much real emotion floats in the brisk air and how with every drop of rain our hearts get more and more sincere and vulnerable.
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