HeadsConnect

Had the privilege last night of being invited to a school to deliver a second workshop on understanding burnout, its connection with resilience and wellbeing.

So many of our professions are experiencing high rates of this. Being aware of what it is and how to look out for it both for yourself and for each other is akin to having protection. Knowing about it can help.

Without having some understanding and knowledge you are, as Dr Laura McGregor would say, doing the equivalent of sending firefighters into a fire without the right equipment.

Sharing with our doctors, nurses, teachers, police and so on what emotional trauma built up over years can do is protecting them.

Talking about it does not bring it on.

If you want to share your thoughts or find out more please let me know.

Last night I was at the Kia Oval 🏏 watching Surrey v Kent in a T20 cricket match. The weather was incredible, the evening sun ☀️ beautiful. Watching the sun set over the Oval was quite a privilege.

The match was an exciting one, yes it really was!

So tight for most of the game. On the last ball Surrey needed to score 3 to win. It was on a knife edge. The cheering and applauding was wonderful to hear, see and feel. The exhilaration that sport can provide was palpable.

Chris Jordan is on strike. The pressure he must be feeling in front of his home crowd. The bowler likewise.

He hits the boundary for a four and Surrey win. Jubilation 👏 at the Oval on a wonderful night.

⚠️ When you are working the pressure of being on a knife edge can exist for longer periods of time than this was for the two teams last night. It can become too much. If allowed to continue can indeed lead to burnout.

As exciting as the sport was last night being on the edge, it is no way to lead your working life.

If you are indeed experiencing this, do reach out. Taking the first step is always the hardest.

Do not continue to live your life on the edge. Meet me for a coffee online and talk through what is happening.

❓ What will happen if you allow this to continue?

Having been in New Zealand for three weeks having had such an amazing experience (a trip I have been waiting to do for so many years) I was as you can imagine a wee bit weary and crestfallen on my return. The scenery I had seen was incredible – see picture below and the events and places visited were breath-taking.

Yet on my return the first thing I did was go to our garden🪴. I saw that the wildflower garden had started to grow and crucially the bluebells I had planted had literally sprung into life. Standing there tall and upright. Proud to be a bluebell. Wow! I was so impressed👏. I stood and took in the majestic sight of them. Making a point to put the picture in my memory🧠.

When working long hours or working under a tight deadline or indeed working under challenging circumstances of any kind whether that be personal or professional it is indeed difficult to see the “light”.

❓How can you see the shoots of growth?
❓How see the glimmers of joy or success?

Often, they do not come to you seamlessly. They do not simply jump right out at you. You do need to seek them out. It is you that must take charge of this. It is you that has to decide you will look for the “light”.

It is this active act that allows you to put harmony and balance into your life. Enjoy the small things. Lots of small things enjoyed collectively become very impactful.

❓What and how do you do this?

I encourage my clients to write about it (gratitude journaling or poetry writing or Dear me letters) or sing about it, draw about it, dance about it. It is the active actions that will stay with you.

Today, pause and consider where do/ did you see the “light”?

Let me know your thoughts or reach out if you need a steer towards achieving this.

So, you are working away really hard. The appraisal or performance review is due shortly. You are hoping for a pay rise 🤑 and possibly a promotion too.

Should you receive this will this, will it be deemed successful? By you? Others?

Coming to towards the end of the Balanceology certificated course on coaching for burnout the question was asked of all us delegates:

❓What does success mean to you?

This raised within me a multitude of thoughts. Having had two “careers” and working my way up the said proverbial ladder 🪜in both I began to consider more deeply the word success. Having been a Bank Manager of two branches in my first “career” to what extent did I view this as success.

I was certainly aware that others indeed did. Perhaps even the wider community too. Did I? Or was it simply just the next step followed by the next and so on. Was I even making real time decisions about each step along the way.

Similarly, when becoming a Headteacher in my second “career” was this success?

I can recall the emotion of wishing my dad ❤️ was still alive to see me as a Headteacher knowing how proud he would have been. Indeed, he would have been. I know he would have just turned up one day with no warning. Exactly as he did when I was working in the bank!

Pause moment here…that moment of nostalgia has made me smile and flooded my body with oxytocin and made me feel good. Is that what success should feel like?

Anyhow moving away from nostalgia, I ask of you some questions:

❓What does success mean to you?

❓What does it look like?

❓Feel like?

❓Where are you experiencing it?

❓Where are you struggling with it?

I wonder for me how much of this earlier “success’ was about the title. I don’t think it was so much how much I was earning although lets me frank it did allow me to have some great holidays with the family. Is salary a factor? Is it about tangible things such as house size, how many houses/ cars and so on.

I know I did not acknowledge or feel success when it was happening. I was so busy doing the doing that I did not pause to celebrate the wins along the journey. I was so busy climbing the steps to reach the top that the views visible from each step were not seen.

Certainly, my view of what success is has changed. Now I feel it is more about connection. Ensuring I have time to reach out to people, spend time with people and network with people. I want to see the view from every step.

This leads me to the last question I ask of you:

❓What is the cost of success?

This question is akin to the question of what are you saying no to if you say yes to something? Economists call it the opportunity cost.

For me the cost of this prior success was being so busy and having so many things buzzing around in my head that taking time to connect was never so high on my list of priorities. It was very much focussed on performance.

Critically taking time to connect to me and put myself on my own to do list was also missing.

When life is tough, or work pressures are mounting it is good to remind yourself of what you really enjoy doing.

If I want some time to ponder or reflect, I might take myself to the cinema 🎬 and see a movie. It gives me breathing space. For a while I just concentrate on that movie. It frees my thinking brain from anything else. Similarly, when I am taking part in yoga. 🧘‍♀️

If you are “burning on” at work and struggling to find your joy, please pause for a moment. I know it’s hard when feeling like this. But this is exactly when you do need to stop✋. A state of “burning on” can only take place for so long. Listen to your body.

At this point you can step in and put balance back in your life. You may need support to do so and that’s fine. We all need support at times.

✅ I ask you to remind yourself of what brings you joy.

✅ With some of my clients I ask them to write down ten things they enjoy doing. Try it now. How long ⏰ did it take you?

✅ Now think back to when you were 5 years old. What did you enjoy doing then? How quick would you have been able to have said what you liked doing when you were 5? What was it about those things you liked?

✅ Now what about when you 10? 15? 20?

The photo is of me on the right being bridesmaid for my gorgeous aunt. I was beyond joyful at being a bridesmaid. I even thought the muffs were amazing 😄. I am smiling as I think about day.

❓What’s one of your moments like this? How is it making you feel right now?

✅ Going back to that list of ten things, how often are you doing them now?

As I come towards the end of the certificated course of Coaching for Burnout with Balanceology I am so aware that whilst coaching can and indeed does support individuals to prevent burnout happening, coaching must and can also empower individuals to have strategies in place to sustain this. To allow for that post traumatic growth.

❓I am wondering what do you have in place to ensure you can sustain this balance?

Over the last few years I have increasingly found that many individuals are experiencing a loss in energy and a joy in the work they once loved. This particularly seems to impact on those in caring professions. Medicine and teaching are examples where the constant giving and caring of others can over time become draining.

As an executive coach I knew I needed to do something to increase my knowledge around this and develop my skills further.

I therefore began working with Balanceology completing a certificate qualification to assist me supporting those experiencing Burnout and those who may be heading that way.

It is so important to reach out and work with those individuals who may be heading towards burnout. It is at this stage that coaching can offer support. Working together to prevent rather than trying to find a cure after is my driver here.

The work we can do together is impactful and can help you as you work through this. A good book on this topic is "Burnout to Brilliance" by Jayne Morris MCC which underpins the course I am undertaking and close to completing.

How high up your to do list do you place yourself?

Please ensure you step in and get the support you need when you sense and feel in your body that work no longer gives you that sense of joy it used to and the normal everyday activities that used to give you joy no longer do.

What would would you tell others to do?

Headteacher wellbeing: Pulling back from burn-out - Headteacher Update What are the signs of burn-out and what actions can school leaders take prevent this and protect their wellbeing?

What a privilege this week to work with the Windmill Cluster group of schools based in the Brixton area as part of their inset on the topic of Enhancing Teacher Resilience and Wellbeing.

Currently I am two thirds through the certificated course for Coaching for Burnout (with many thanks to Jayne Morris MCC and Jo Reeves PCC) and so being passionate about preventing individuals from reaching this state it was my delight to get to work with those in education - a field where stress levels are recognised as being high.

❓How high up are you on your own to do list? A key question I asked of those attending.

I wonder where you put yourself as you read this? ❓ High up are you on your list?

By the end of the workshop those attending said that their take homes included:

🌈 Creating work boundaries.

🌈 Asking themselves when their emotions change in a negative way whether they are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired (HALT).

🌟 Celebrating all the micro achievements or glimmers as I like to say.

🧠 Thinking carefully about the language that they use – if for example using the word “stressed” what do they actually mean by this. What word best describes your emotion?

👍 When they are saying yes to more work what are they saying no too.

✅ It is ok to say no.

👍 Knowing it is ok to take time for themselves.

🫀 🫁 🧠 How we can use our bodies to take control over our hormones (Claire Dale)

✅ who I can go to for support and that this is ok (Brené Brown Education and Research Group)

When the delegates described the workshop as “very engaging and useful“ and that they had “learnt a lot about what to take on and when to take it on”, I felt pleased.

❓I wonder how easy it will be to maintain these plans when the daily routine takes over.

Taking a moment to wish you all happy holidays. A time to take a break, pause and reflect on the year just gone.

❓ What have been the joys of the year so far? Remember to include the small ones too. Not every joy will nor needs to be big. Each little glimmer is important.

❓ What have been the low moments of the year? What were you able to learn and take from these? Sometimes this is a struggle for sure. The loss of a loved one for example. 🤍 The pain of an illness or a terminal diagnosis.

Having been undertaking, this year, a course on Managing Burnout and looking at how to prevent it , I am aware of the challenges facing so many individuals. I am building my skills to continue to support those in leadership attempting to balance their life with work stressors.

Pausing, simply looking out of a window or gazing to your nose allows your breathing to be the only thing you are doing. This gives you time to be. Each and every one of your emotions are as true and valid as each other. One is not not more important than another.

❓ What emotions have you experienced this year? What do you recall most vividly?

I wish you all happy holidays as I Ieave you with with this question...

❓ Where are you on your list of priorities? Do you deserve to be placed higher next year? Consider your path to doing this.

Being a leader and feeling the weight of being responsible for everyones well being? This is an alternative look at that struggle.

Impact of Culture on wellbeing? Many of the leaders I work with when coaching or undertaking leadership supervision have commented on the pressure they feel about ensuring that the wellbeing of all their staff is “covered”. They feel it is very much th...

Sun shining. On my way to begin a coaching conversation as part of CPD for a school leader. A great way to allow people to grow and develop. Coaching conversations work well in schools and can be developed for all staff. My privilege to be part of this.