Violet’s Wildflowers

30.05.23

3 years ago today Violet & I are still in hospital - Violet had a sleep study done that showed she needed oxygen support through the night. We couldn’t go home until it had all been arranged. So we were waiting around for days. We were still waiting for her to have surgery for laryngomalacia - even with her oxygen levels dropping, they still didn’t class her as a priority. She still wasn’t high on the list to have a PEG fitted, even though we’d paid privately to get it done ASAP.
So we were just waiting.
Waiting.

We’d been in hospital for almost 9 nights, Violet is asleep in the cot & I’m next to her on the sofa watching TV. The oxygen alarm starts beeping even though she’s on the support. I look at her and instantly I know something is wrong. I pick her up but she is lifeless in my arms and I see the numbers drop lower. I remember calling in the nurse. She pulls the emergency alarm and the next thing our room is filled with staff.
I leave to give them space.

I want to scream at them all to get out of the way but at the same time I don’t want them to leave her. I stand in the corridor next to a student nurse who doesn’t know what to say to me. I feel like my legs are going to give way. This was the first time that I had the thought that I was going to lose her.

I don’t know if it was 3 minutes or 30 minutes but they eventually call me back into the room and tell me that she is stable. She’d caught Rhinovirus, had a severe obstructive sleep apnea and stopped breathing. Finally they all leave and it’s just me and Violet again. I pick her up and hold her against my chest, I sway her back and forth as I stroke her hair. The relief of her being OK overwhelms me and I cry and I cry and I cry. So eternally grateful that she is OK, that I can hold her, because I don’t think I would ever recover from losing her.
Every parent’s worse nightmare.
But it isn’t my reality.
Not yet.
For now, I get to keep her for a little while longer. I had a peek behind the curtain of what was to become the truth. Because three months later, that thing that I dreaded the most, the worst thing that could ever happen, happened.

I did lose her.
And I was right, I wouldn’t ever recover 💔💜

28.05.23
during hospital stay number 10.
we were waiting for oxygen to go home with after a sleep study showed Violet was having ‘prolonged episodes of dangerously low oxygen levels’. we never got to go home because Violet caught rhinovirus whilst we were waiting for the oxygen. her body was already dealing with so much that this common virus made her extremely poorly and eventually she had to be transferred to ICU.

she was always giving us that beautiful smile though,
our brave little girl 💜

for anyone that has ever wondered what Tŷ Hafan Children's Hospice is like, now is your chance to visit their beautiful gardens!
💐🌸🌺🌻🌷
I feel like you can only really appreciate how peaceful, calm and serene it is once you visit and then it makes sense why so many families (like ours) choose them, to provide end of life care for their child 💜

There are just a few weeks to go until we open up our hospice gardens for National Garden Scheme 🪻🌷🌼

When a child’s life will be short, every moment matters. That’s why spaces for joy, reflection and togetherness are so important.

This June, we’re opening our beautiful gardens as part of the National Gardens Scheme. It’s a rare chance to experience a place that means so much to the children and families we support.

Set against stunning sea views, our gardens are thoughtfully designed to welcome everyone. They are a place where children can play, families can pause and memories can be made.

During your visit, you can explore: A sensory garden filled with colour, texture and scent. A peaceful woodland walk. Open spaces to play and relax. Beautiful planting, including roses, peonies, shrubs and fruit trees. Wildlife thriving throughout the grounds.

Every corner of the garden is lovingly cared for by our dedicated team of volunteer gardeners. There will also be refreshments and plants available to buy on the day.

📍Hayes Road, Sully, Penarth, CF64 5XX
📆 Saturday 13th June
🕐10 am – 2 pm
🎟️ Adults £5 | Children free.

Spaces are limited. Book early to secure your place > https://bit.ly/4tpoHqq

Noah's Ark Children's Hospital Charity superhero 5k fun day is just over 5 WEEKS away!

and now their match funding is LIVE which means any donations given to our page will be DOUBLED! That means if you donate £5, the charity will receive £10, if you donate £10 then the charity will receive £20 and so on!
So now is the perfect time to sponsor our Violet’s Wildflowers team if you are able to! 🫶

https://fundraise.noahsarkcharity.org/fundraisers/VioletsWildflowers313

Or why not join our team and complete the 5k along with us?!

Event details:
Sunday 28th June 2026
Sophia gardens, Cardiff

Complete the 5k and enjoy a family fun-filled day, including:

🎤 Music from Josh Navidi
🕸️ Character meet and greets
🏎️ Supercars and racing simulators
🎪 Circus skills workshops
🍿 Street food
🛍 Stalls

Join our team here:
https://fundraise.noahsarkcharity.org/join/VioletsWildflowers313
(Select ‘individuals & families’ then the next page should say that you’re joining Violet’s Wildflowers team)

Throw back to 2024’s event when we were honoured to be the flag bearers starting the race 💜

Today marks three years since the day we took Violet back into hospital for a second opinion. We were told it was reflux that was causing all of her breath holding episodes, but our instincts said otherwise.

That decision to take her back in led us down a path of needing oxygen, having to be transferred to the grange’s HDU, to Noah’s Ark ICU, to Ty Hafan - and eventually to saying goodbye to our beautiful girl.

At one point, I wished we’d never taken her in. May 22nd 2023 we were at a crossroads and I wondered if we had done the right thing. But her consultant told us that if we hadn’t, she may have passed away unexpectedly at home without us ever having a chance to say goodbye.

When that moment came, when it was time to say goodbye, Violet had a long cuddle with her Daddy and then I cradled her - studying her precious little face, wondering how I was ever going to live without seeing it everyday. It was like she knew she was safe to let go in my arms and took her last breath as I held her. The most painful moment of my life but I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way - to have brought her into this world and to hold her as she left for the next.

We left home this day three years ago, in hopes that someone would listen to us and make her better but for three years now, part of our home has been missing 💔

The ache of missing you never fades, beautiful girl 💜

21.05.23
Love and miss you always and forever 💜

Noah's Ark Children's Hospital Charity superhero 5k fun day is just SIX WEEKS away!

and now their match funding is LIVE which means any donations given to our page will be DOUBLED! That means if you donate £5, the charity will receive £10, if you donate £10 then the charity will receive £20 and so on!
So now is the perfect time to sponsor our Violet’s Wildflowers team if you are able to! 🫶

https://fundraise.noahsarkcharity.org/fundraisers/VioletsWildflowers313

Or why not join our team and complete the 5k along with us?!

Event details:
Sunday 28th June 2026
Sophia gardens, Cardiff

Complete the 5k and enjoy a family fun-filled day, including:

🎤 Music from Josh Navidi
🕸️ Character meet and greets
🏎️ Supercars and racing simulators
🎪 Circus skills workshops
🍿 Street food
🛍 Stalls

Join our team here:
https://fundraise.noahsarkcharity.org/join/VioletsWildflowers313
(Select ‘individuals & families’ then the next page should say that you’re joining Violet’s Wildflowers team)

Throw back to 2024’s event when we were honoured to be the flag bearers starting the race 💜

this day three years ago 🥹
my all time faves. can see how much the boys loved their sister and how much she loved them. wish more than anything in this world that Violet was here growing up alongside them - i’m sure she would be bossing her big brothers around by now 😆

i’ll always tell people i have three children and we will always say her name.

miss and love you always, Violet
🩵🧡💜

INTERNATIONAL NURSES DAY

Couldn’t let this day pass without saying thank you to every nurse who ever cared for Violet. From the nurses at The Grange who got me through so many admissions, to the ICU nurses at Noah's Ark Children's Hospital Charity who cared for Violet with such skill, kindness and love - and were always there for us on our hardest days.

And to the nurses at Tŷ Hafan Children's Hospice, who took care of all the medical side so we could simply be Mammy and Daddy in Violet’s final days - we will never forget the care you showed us and our little girl.

Every nurse that ever took care of Violet - we still cherish all of the kindness you showed, the crafts you made, the memories you helped us to make.

Thank you for the difference you make to families like ours - the impact you have stays with us long after we are sent home 💜