Smelling The Roses

A post I wrote for LinkedIn last week on being thankful, although the day has passed the sentiment remains the same!

You can also listen to me discuss this more on BBC Scotland at this link 👇🏻

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001smc1 - our conversation starts at around 13 minutes.

Thanks at Thanksgiving.

What a pity that all we have imported from this US festival is Black Friday when really it’s a great time to be thankful.

Of course saying thank you should not just be delivered one day a year but should be a way of life. As a psychologist I know that when people pursue a life of gratitude a load of good things happen like better mental and physical health, more positive relationships and increased happiness.

Even in the midst of tough times it is still worth looking for the good. My husband has just made me an omelette for lunch…I’m on my way to say thank you!

Autumn is my least favourite season as I grieve outgoing summer.

The antidote was a Smelling the Roses team trip to Newhaven on the newly extended tram with a coffee at Jane’s suggested Porto & Fi

We were seated at a large window table which could happily house 8. We noticed many people on their own - we counted 7 singletons who were taking up tables for 4 as larger parties were turned away.

So the morning’s chat was around how to reorganise the café.

Why not put our large table in the centre so that people on their own could choose to mingle and perhaps talk to each other. Not for everyone of course but for those who desire a bit of social diversion that option could be supplied.

As a coach I have talked to many clients recently who work at home alone, crash after a 12 hour shift online to watch TV, go to bed then repeat…. Loneliness is rampant.

For those in offices their only socialising might still be at work so supplying comfortable places to sit and chat during breaks becomes essential as a major focus post pandemic is on good mental health.

I remember talking to Steve an eminent scientist who recounted that when his company put sofas and coffee makers on each floor in between departments not only did the scientists mingle socially much more but the chat led to the sharing of ideas from different departments, creativity increased, problems were solved and best practice implemented. All for the price of a coffee machine and a couch!

So Porto and Fi, if you are reading this, get that big table moved to the centre and watch people connect.

In our last Group Coaching session, we used Mind Mapping to think through personal strengths so that the group could present them at interview, state them on websites, use them as selling points for getting new clients or just simply as an aid to confident thinking.

I have outlined the key points so that you can Mind Map too. Your Mind Maps don’t have to be perfect looking like the example, and you are better drawing them yourself rather than using a computer tool. Psychologists have researched both and found the ones we draw by hand have more impact and are remembered better.

Mind Maps can help an individual or team speedily identify the overall concept and structure of a subject because you can see the way that pieces of information fit together. Mind Mapping can also help you to remember information as it is in a format that you find easy to recall and quick to revise. Wonderful for presentations!

I am not sure that I would have been able to speak at so many conferences and seminars if Mind Mapping had been unavailable as a tool.

Mind Maps were popularised by Tony Buzan and because they are more compact than conventional notes. Often taking up only one side of paper, you can make associations more easily, producing more ideas.

New information can be added with little disruption. When I think back to working in lists with arrows all over the place as I added new ideas, I realised it was a mess leading to befuddled thinking.

In addition to this, Mind Mapping helps you to break down large projects or topics into manageable chunks, so that you can plan effectively without getting overwhelmed and without forgetting something important. I have used Mind Mapping increasingly for business plans. At every meeting you can produce the map and add to it if necessary.

It’s all on one page. Simple.

Guidelines for Mind Mapping.

· Put the title in the centre.
· Use capitals – you can see them more easily.
· Use lines for information connected to the centre.
· Use only one or two words along the lines.
· Use colour to identify sections and aid memory.
· Keep your mind free of structure.

Do you use Mind Maps? If not, would this make you want to give it a go?

This book was given to me by a friend and chosen by my book group for discussion this week.

It’s about two teenagers one Greek, one Turkish living in the divided island of Cyprus. I was aware of the division as my friend Dimis, a Cyprus resident, took me and my husband over the border into the Turkish part of Nicosia. In front of an ugly concrete wall crossing the town he pointed to a beautiful sandstone townhouse with a balcony and told us that this was his family’s house.

They were given just hours to evacuate and had to leave all belongings behind. This book adds flesh to the bones of this Cyprus story that few know.

It follows a romance, a family exiled to the UK but also the profound effect of turbulence on nature. I’ll add no further spoilers but I did find myself speaking to my fig tree yesterday!

What are you currently reading?

I received this wonderful feedback recently 😊

If you want to take Carolanne’s advice and grab the opportunity to be coached (for free!) then get in touch to book a space on next weeks Group Coaching session on zoom.

This is for people who would like to experience coaching in a group environment before considering one to one coaching.

Email [email protected] to secure one of the last spaces.

The next date for my Coaching Lunch sessions is Tuesday 23rd May.

This is a chance to experience coaching in a group environment and to benefit from the perspective and experience of others whilst having continued support, connection and accountability.

These will now run as a block of 4 sessions. You are welcome to join as many of the these as you wish.

Please email [email protected] to confirm your place.

If you know of anyone who would be interested in attending, please do share this post with them.

Ros

Today is World Creativity & Innovation Day 🧠

While writing my book, Creativity at Work I looked at the tools that were commonly used to boost creativity. One of these was brainstorming.

When it comes to brainstorming, there are 4 guidelines

1 – Focus on quantity. The assumption is that the more ideas generated, the greater the chance of producing an effective, different solution.

2 – No criticism. Focus on extending or adding to ideas rather than criticising. By suspending judgement, participants will feel free to come up with more ‘off the wall’ ideas.

3 – Reward unusual ideas. To get a long list of ideas, unusual ideas should be welcomed. New ways of thinking can provide better solutions.

4 – Combine & improve ideas. Good ideas may be combined to form a single, even better, idea. This process is often called ‘piggybacking’ as group members add to others’ ideas as they are written down.

The main brainstorming propositions are that everyone can be involved and it should be fun, creating energy to generate new concepts and solutions.

What do you do to boost creativity?

When I first started to study psychology, it was like Saul on the road to Damascus. A complete awakening. Instead of reading History French or English which I saw as a continuation of school, I could study people and talk to people, something I had being doing most of my life and now I could get a degree in it.

I was an only child and when I was let out all I wanted to do was talk. After my first degree I then embarked on studying clinical psychology and quickly learned that to be effective as a practice psychologist I had to remain silent and learn the power of listening.

I remember attending a lecture by the famous psychologist Sir John Whitmore where he placed the audience in pairs facing each other in silence. All we had to do was look at the person opposite and work out what we thought of them. People squirmed, shifting in seats, averting eyes, profoundly uncomfortable.

Even more telling was in the absence of talking, partners made up stories about the person they faced, becoming judgemental and not in a good way. I was aware as a result of that exercise that we judge the people around us even when we never actually talk to them.

When you are out and about, ask people at bus stops, stations, cafes what they do,where they do it and just listen in silence and learn.

Silence is very important when you coach as it provides thinking space for both coach and client. But to be able to sit in silence requires relaxation, to hold a gaze needs openness and trust with a complete lack of judgement.

Silence’s sister is listening. You listen with ears and eyes, always focussing on understanding. What is like to be the person in front of you, in their life.

So on this day of celebrating silence, look, listen and learn the power of shutting up.

I am holding a free online group coaching session on 19th April via zoom. There are 10 spaces available, and they are open to the first 10 people to sign up.

Who is this for?

⭐️People who would like to experience coaching in a group environment before considering one to one coaching.
⭐️Those who want to benefit from the perspective and experience of others within a group and have continued support, connection and accountability.

Please come prepared with something you would like help with. The information in the sessions will not be shared outwith the group but please remember that this is a group coaching session so you must be happy to discuss any issues in front of the group.

Email [email protected] to confirm your place. Please put coffee and coaching in the subject line along with your name.

When your monthly meeting lands on a birthday you have to go for lunch afterwards! 🥂

Great food and company at La Bruschetta

Happy Birthday Ros! ❤️

4 signs you are dealing with a toxic person - and what to do about it. An interesting article that Ros contributed to.

4 signs you’re working with a toxic person—and what to do It’s not always clear-cut when you’re dealing with a toxic person in the office

Yesterday marked the first day of spring. Spring brings longer days, lighter nights and lots of exciting possibilities. 💐

It is a great time to look at tackling new career goals and make some fresh starts in your career. Here are 5 tips for a career spring clean.

1 – Set new goals. Visualise where you would like to be by the end of the year and put steps in place to make this happen.

2 – Have a digital declutter. From your inbox to your LinkedIn connections, get rid of anything you no longer need or that is out of date.

3 – Identify any skill gaps. What areas would you like to upskill? Are there opportunities for in house development or any courses you could take?

4 – Ask for feedback. Receiving feedback is a great learning opportunity no matter how uncomfortable it might be at the time. Research shows that people who receive frequent feedback are 2.7 times more likely to be engaged at work.

5 – Organise your workspace. A cluttered workspace can have negative effects on stress levels as well as impairing our ability to focus. Scientists at the Princeton University Neuroscience Institute found that when participants cleared clutter from their workspace they were better able to process information and their productivity increased. Also make your bed in the morning. That small piece of organisation sets the scene for the rest of the day.