Feven Beyene

If I could get the chance to sit with woman waiting for marriage, or a wife trying to make sense of her marriage, I would tell her this: Marriage is beautiful, but it is not your identity. It is not your finish line. It is not the place where you finally become whole. If you make marriage your source, you will end up empty — not because marriage is bad, but because only Jesus was meant to fill the empty space in your heart. Find your identity in Christ — before and after marriage. Let Him define who you are, not your title, your relationship, or your season. Be grateful for the gift, but stay anchored in the Giver. Because when your heart is secure in Him, you can actually enjoy the gift without depending on it to make you happy. The same God who is faithful in singleness is faithful in marriage. Don’t try to find your happiness and Identity in marriage. That’s when you will truly be happy with your marriage.

I remember my teenage years learning about marriage and relationships — it was my favorite class. I wouldn’t miss that day no matter what. Different teachers would come to our church and teach us about this beautiful, God-given gift called marriage. I remember being such an active participant. Somewhere in those moments, I began to deeply desire that kind of perfect, godly relationship. I longed for it desperately.

But የሆነ ስዓት ላይ I think I forgot that marriage is a way not the destination itself. Even though I never said it out loud, I remember thinking that marriage would be the place where I would finally be complete, both before God and before people. I was trying to find happiness in relationships and ultimately in marriage. I started to measure success by whether I was in relationship or marriage or not, and I placed my worth in the idea of marriage rather than in Christ. You see, marriage itself isn’t wrong, it’s God’s design, but when it becomes our ultimate aim, we risk losing sight of the Giver.

እናላችሁ I “followed my heart” and got married at 22. The young and desperate girl, hoping that this marriage would finally answer the long questions in her heart. Everything was great at first, but as time passed, the confusion began to grow. I began asking why my questions are still not answered. Why I still feel the emptiness? even after getting married, I still hadn’t found the wholeness I was searching for. My heart broke.

That’s when I realized even a good gift can’t fill a place meant only for God. There came a point when I had to face the ache I couldn’t ignore. እንግዲህ አስቡት I had everything I once prayed for a husband, a home, the title “wife”, and yet something inside still felt incomplete. That’s when God began to gently reveal something to me: I had started to worship the gift instead of the Giver.

ግን እግዚአብሔር ቸር አይደለ He reminded me that marriage was never meant to complete me only Christ can do that, not my husband not not even me. Marriage is a gift, a reflection of His love, but not the source of it.

ያኔ I had to take a step back, to pause and let Him reorder my heart. Slowly, my joy became less about what my marriage looked like and more about who was at the center of it.

If I could get the chance to sit with woman waiting for marriage, or a wife trying to make sense of it, I would tell her this: Marriage is beautiful, but it is not your identity. It is not your finish line. It is not the place where you finally become whole. If you make marriage your source, you will end up empty — not because marriage is bad, but because only Jesus was meant to fill that space. Find your identity in Christ — before and after marriage. Let Him define who you are, not your title, your relationship, or your season. Be grateful for the gift, but stay anchored in the Giver. Because when your heart is secure in Him, you can actually enjoy the gift without depending on it to make you happy. The same God who is faithful in singleness is faithful in marriage. Don’t try to find your happiness and Identity in marriage. That’s when you will truly be happy with your marriage.

Wives and moms it’s time to break the silence and find freedom 🤗🤗

Whether you’re married, pregnant, waiting for your blessing, or raising toddlers and teens—how’s life really treating you? How’s marriage? How are you handling the hard moments with your spouse? And for those pregnant mamas—how’s morning sickness? Mood swings? Hormones?
And for the new mamas—how was labor? I remember mine vividly. Both of my labors were relatively for a short period of time, but I had never experienced a pain like that in my life. Honestly, I cannot even describe it—ahhh!😔😔 And for the mamas who delivered by C-section—how’s recovery going? How’s breastfeeding your little one after that major surgery? (ይሄን እንኳን ብዙም ባላውቀውም የቅርብ ጓደኞቼ ግን በደምብ ነግረውኛልl). And both mamas how are you handling postpartum depression?
For those with toddlers or teenagers, how are your kids? How’s disciplining them? Balancing work and being there for them? I remember how hard those moments were for me. Even though I was surrounded by people,(people who were there for me, who were kindhearted and amazing) I felt completely alone, I felt like no one could ever understand my pain.
The first problem I faced was not knowing I wasn’t alone. Ecclesiastes 1:9 reminds us, there’s nothing new under the sun. እናቴ the struggles you’re facing aren’t specifically made for you. Someone else has walked this path or is walking it now, or will in the future. Ayzon you are not alone.
The second problem was silence, I kept all of it to myself. I observed other moms and wives around me, always seeming perfect—perfect wives, perfect moms—and I thought my struggles were too messy to share. So I chose to stay silent, በነገርሽ ላይ ፤ do you know keeping silent often stems from Pride, fear of Judgment or shame which are all rooted in sin, so I had a fear that if I told anyone they might judge me and say that I am a bad wife or a bad mom. And the tricky thing about sin: it isolates you, whispers that you’re helpless, and convinces you that you have to carry everything alone.

Sin also keeps you in a “victim mentality,” making pain your identity instead of something you walk through. It produces guilt, brokenness, and mistrust.
So what’s