Patsyism

Patsesis 1:7-8 | And Patsy decorated the luxury penthouse impeccably, and divided the city into chic bits below the condo and dull parts above the condo. And Patsy called the condo her Padulous. And the preparty and the afterparty were the second rave.

Patsesis 1:5-6 | And Patsy called the deep house music FIERCE and the other sh*tty music she called suitable for a Tyler Perry movie. And the preparty and the afterparty were the first rave. And Patsy said, let there be a luxury condo in the midst of Manhattan, and let it divide downtown from uptown.

Patsesis 1:3-4 | And Patsy said, Let there be deep house music: and there was deep house music. And Patsy heard the deep house music, that it was good: and Patsy divided the deep house music from other sh*tty music.

Patsesis 1:1-2 | In the beginning Patsy created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, like a baggie in a cup of coffee, and void, like her stomach. And darkness was upon the face of the obese. And the Spirit of Patsy moved upon the face of the thin and the gorgeous.

Lo, and the Patsy said: Let there be a reading of my sacred text, the Book of Patsy, one chapter a day, forever and ever and ever. This is my will. This is thine task.

Welcome, minions! You have all come to this page to bask in my fabyoulousness for many reasons: you might be a devout worshipper; a lonely, homely teenager; or a complete sociopath. I couldn't care less, really, as long as you worship the very dirt beneath my stilettos.