Ashley Wagner

You’re not lazy. You’re nutrient-deficient, and no amount of discipline is going to fix that.

If you’ve ever stared at the mat willing yourself to workout, felt completely blank looking at the email you need to get back to, or avoided training that you know you need to do (and called yourself unmotivated) you’ve been diagnosing the wrong problem.

Self-Determination Theory (40 years of research, most-cited motivation framework in psychology) says your brain runs on three psychological nutrients. Starve any one of them and motivation tanks. No matter how hard you push through with grit.

→ AUTONOMY: are you choosing this, or do you feel like you have to do it?
→ COMPETENCE: do you trust you’ve got the reps?
→ RELATEDNESS: is anyone actually in the arena with you? Do you feel connected with your people?

I learned this the hard way at the Olympic level. Nationals 2016: autonomy missing → lost the title. Worlds in Boston three months later: all three online → World silver. Same skater. Same body. Different fuel.

This is the first audit I run with every client. Most of them don’t need more discipline; they need to know which nutrient is missing and fix that ONE thing. The shift is almost embarrassingly fast.

So, which one is yours right now? Drop A, C, or R in the comments. I read them all 🫶🏻

Going deep on autonomy this week. Follow so you don’t miss it!

performance mindset

Psychology hack- when you care TOO much, you aren’t performing at your best.

Research shows us that there are 2 types of goal seekers: mastery goals and performance goals. Both are real, both can motivate you, but they lead to very different outcomes.

Mastery is about you- you want to actually get better. Highlight your work, beat the version of yourself that showed up yesterday.

Performance goals focus on outperforming others or avoiding losing. You know, like when we skate to “not lose”.

One creates a lot more anxiety but can be great for a quick push of motivation. Not necessarily bad, just different. One is slow and steady, resilient.

Which one drives you right now?

How to train self-discipline

When we find ourselves struggling with self-discipline and pushing through tough moments, or sticking with our goals, we often overlook what our experience with discipline was like as a kid.

Having a negative relationship with discipline could look like being pushed to stick with a sport you hate, or going back out onto the field too soon after a hard tackle. It’s the classic old school mentality of “just tough it out”.

You learn that pushing through SUCKS and probably won’t pay off, and your brain and body aren’t going to sign on for a sh*tty deal like that.

Change how you talk about your goals, remind your body why you’re sticking with something in the hard moments, and rework what you know about pushing yourself through.

Your brain: “what if everything goes wrong?”�You: k,cool… but even if it does, I still know how to keep going.

Maybe you aren’t struggling with confidence.�Maybe youre just believing every thought your brain throws at you.

“What if” keeps you stuck in fear.
“Even if” puts you back in control.
This is cognitive defusion - aka not letting your anxiety take over.

Save this for the next time your brain spirals before something that matters.
And try this today:
�Take one “what if” thought�Flip it to “even if”�Then go do the thing anyway

Even if you’re nervous.�Even if it’s messy.�Even if it’s not perfect.
That’s the work.

Ready to actually train your brain like this?�Click the link in my bio to schedule a session with me.

Choking? Popping? Not performing under pressure? I gotchu 🫡