Clarke Family Missions-Costa Rica

Update: God has been doing amazing things and here is one of them.....There will be an OPEN HOUSE on October 21 from 6-8pm at 19025 Valley Drive Flint, Texas 75762. COME SEE US!!

This was our message at church this past Sunday. It was given by Chris Bower and he shares about Kelly. This is an amazing, powerful testimony that I believe will touch many. Please take the time to listen and forward to others. To God be the Glory in our circumstances even when we think they are unfair and we don't understand!!!

You Say You Believe In God, But You Don't Believe He Is Fair "If God is good, then why did this happen to me?" If you have asked yourself this question or another like it, give Pastor Chris' message a listen.

(I wrote this yesterday morning on our flight back. My heart stands amazed and I’m so very greatful for my sister going with me!)
A lot of things going through my mind this morning as I am on the flight headed back to Texas. The one big question is was this trip back to Costa Rica worth it?? ABSOLUTELY without question this was a trip that has exceeded anything I could’ve thought or imagined it would or could be! I know without a shadow of a doubt God did some inner healing within me that couldn’t have been done anywhere except Costa Rica! As I sit here writing this tears are coming with a flood of emotions that are so very real and strong! My heart is still raw from the impact of all that took place there almost a year ago but the difference now is because of the heart of Jesus and these people who have so willingly just loved on me and my sister with every fiber of their being...my raw heart is beginning to heal! It will take time to feel completely whole again but as God has so graciously shown me this week that as I continue to keep moving forward in Him and speaking and declaring His truth and life over others I will begin to live again! I don’t know if I can even begin to express the deep love I have for these people other than their love and support for our family means the world to me and I wouldn’t be where I am at today without each one of them including each one of you!! Someone close to me recently told me that to live is to love and it’s better to have loved than not loved at all! I have found that that statement has come to life and full of truth for me in just the past few days. I have felt their hurting hearts and have intentionally prayed and loved on them. I have literally showed them I will walk through the muck and grime with them...They have felt the love of God and how sustaining it can be!! Jesus is the ONLY thing that is infallible in this life!’ Jesus loves us unconditionally which means without conditions. No that doesn’t mean we have free reign to live however we want because if we want to live a truly blessed life our heart has to line up with His word which is complete truth lacking in nothing! We have to be willing to give of ourselves in every area whatever that looks like and allow God to put accountability in our life. We are all one body with different gifting and callings and we fit together like a puzzle. So just imagine when we all do our part how that big picture is turning into something so amazing and beautiful! So when you are struggling and don’t feel like you have a purpose just remember you do and there is always someone that needs you!! You ARE wanted and you ARE needed!! I thank ALL the people (our life support) who have invested in our family! We literally can’t do life without each one of you!!! I’m literally seeing Gods purpose and plans for me beginning to unfold right in front of my very eyes!!! Each day is new and holds amazing blessings if we choose to see them!! ❤️❤️

What am I feeling? It feels a bit surreal to be sitting on this plane with my sister headed to Costa Rica! I am so full of excitement to see people in CR but still feel raw in parts of myself. As I look out into these clouds I think of Kelly and it puts a smile on my face and tears in my eyes to think I can be so close to him yet still far away. I know he would be very proud of me for taking this huge step by going back to CR so soon. I am a bit nervous but I have this great anticipation in my heart of what God is doing that I can’t do anything else but keep moving forward regardless of how I feel! It’s not feelings that are gonna reach people it’s Gods amazing love and sovereignty of how He is gonna work! I am a willing vessel that desires so desperately to be used no matter how! When you come to terms that life really isn’t about you and never has been but it’s about the life you live through Jesus so others can be lead to know the true heart of God. It takes a heart that is willing to be vulnerable and not complacent. THAT is not easy because we live in a society that the very focus is self. Anything that can fill what we need quickly is what we really are consumed with. So how do we change that mentality? We have to start with self. Meaning what we THINK we really need we don’t! It’s more called a want and we THINK we deserve it so we will manipulate it anyway we need so we can have it. Then we wonder why our happiness doesn’t last or we of course probably move onto something else. If we want change then we need to make change! We can start by asking God to help us. I believe if you truly have a heart that loves God and you desire to really change then HE and ONLY He can help you. It’s in the baby steps that we begin to make progress. One day it’s baby steps then the next thing you know your taking a leap like me and choosing to keep moving forward even when it doesn’t all feel good. yet this overwhelming surge of excitement begins to build up in you and BOOM.....others around you begin getting so touched all because you CHOSE to take a step toward obedience to Jesus!

Just wanted to inform everyone that I am flying to Costa Rica tomorrow at 7:35 AM with my sister. We will be there 6 days and fly back home on Wednesday Dec. 14th. We will be getting some things we had left there as well as be visiting some friends and get to be apart of our Tuesday night prayer meeting we helped start there. I’m asking for your prayers as we travel and for divine appts to take place. I’m so excited to declare how our God has so graciously and sovernly been with me and the kids every step of the way! I believe the time is now and the harvest is ready! Thank you all for your continued love, support and prayers! I can’t wait to share what God does! Much love to you all!!!❤️❤️

Thank you all for your continued love and prayers for our family!! I am going to share another piece of my heart. I'm not doing this to get attention or to boast of myself or anything to do with me for that matter. It's all about what God is doing and if what I'm going through can minister to another's heart than so be it!
The other night I had dropped 2 of my kids off at church and my plan was to come home and chill. BUT GOD had other plans for me! Instead of going straight I felt lead to make a right turn and just keep going til I reached the cemetary where we buried Kelly's ashes next to his dads gravesite in Jacksonville. I had verbally told myself that I would never go back there after we initially first buried him. I pulled up to where I saw his name and just numbingly sat in my car. Weeping overtook my body and I just wailed uncontrollably for awhile. I got myself together enough to step out of my car and kneel by his sight. I then again lost it. I began talking to him and telling him so much of what had been in my heart that has built up in me. It has been 6 months and a few days since he past away so I had alot to share with him! Let me explain that I do know he isnt there anymore and he is in heaven having the best time. It's just that I so miss him and wanted to physically be near his body and the last place was right here at his gravesite. I know many may not understand this but the people who have lost a loved one will. I stayed there for almost 2 hours as I allowed my heart to ache and break even more. You see....to get to that place of able to move forward I began realizing through others that have been through loss that this is all part of the process of healing. My mind has a hard time grasping this because I just want to go on but in all honesty to go on you have to let go! That is hard as hell to let go of someone you love so deeply!! As my heart is still in pieces I have a feeling I may visit that site often to write. Here is the beginning of what is just the start before I was able to leave that night.
To me there is no greater pain than losing someone you love! Even saving someone's life when losing yours has ramifications for others. The risk is worth it all but the love lost is full of great pain... heartache....and even sleepless nights. Sometimes the heartache is so great that you almost feel like you cant breathe at times and you have to remember how to live life again cuz that knowing is gone. Having everything uprooted and finding that new normal is a process but as a sweet friend reminded me the process is relational because God created us to be relational beings with Him and each other. So as I'm learning to be intentional in allowing God to take me step by step through this relational process my heart is beginning to heal piece by piece into a beautiful tapestry that only He can divinely mend. That doesnt mean I will forget about Kelly and what we had but it just means my journey will continue to be fulfilled of Gods purposes and plans until the day we meet on the other side of heaven.❤❤

First time visiting Kelly's gravesite
6-27-18

My heart still stands in a state of awe of all God has done and is still doing in our family since Kelly's passing. I want to tell each and everyone of you THANK YOU for your constant prayers...love...support and for all the heart-felt comments you leave for me and our kids. I have come to realize this is not an easy road to continue on but in reality nothing is easy in life and death is inevitable for each of us one day. So the hope we have to hold onto is the hope of knowing one day we will be together again in heaven. I thank God every day that Kelly made a decision to not only follow God's heart but to make a conscious decision to do so every day. Does that mean he was perfect...absolutely not...neither of us were! 20 years of marriage we had to fight for! Two people becoming one yet your still two individuals. Add hormones on a level of young and old lol and you get a mix of small stupid arguments and humongo massive knock out drag out arugements ending in a separation where we were both done! We both had to make a decision....is it worth yet?? Hell yes!!! We knew the plans God had for our family were greater than the destruction the enemy wanted to do! So we fought hard together instead of against each other for our marriage and our family!! I thank God every day we had that time together in Costa Rica as a family!! Do I wish I had the chance to hold him a bit tighter and kiss him a bit longer..absolutely! My heart will always ache for him cuz that's a testament of how real our love was! BUT GOD.......His perfect love for us is so much greater...how can we deny that??? To say there is no God is to say love doesn't exist! Yet...all believe in love....so what love are YOU believing in???

God’s love is steadfast and unchanging
God’s love comforts us
God’s love is revealed to us through Jesus Christ
God’s love is poured into us through the Holy Spirit
God’s love compells us to love one another
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

I am in awe of what God did and is still doing through Kellys Celebration Service yesterday!! We want to thank each one of you for your love and support and for being apart of something so much greater that God is still unfolding! Our minds are still in surreal mode but yet as we continue to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward and lean hard into God cuz He isnt going anywhere...we will get through this with Him and each other! I am receiving testament after testament of how Gods loving presence was so evident and strong yesterday...thats what it is all about...allowing Him to come in no matter how things look or how they feel! Each one of you whether you could be there or not has such a special place in our families heart! Making the step to move back here right now has shown me that we are definitely surrounded by so many people that truly do have a heart for me and our kids. The strength and peace in that is crazi amazing!! I don't think any words could express enough our gratitude to each one of you. My heart is overwhelmed by the power of the Lords great love!!! 💗💗💗

Kelly and Pastor Manuel.....Brothers in Christ forever 💗💗

I want to take some time and say thank you all so much for everyones love...support and especially prayers going up for my family during this time. Christmas Day we saw our husband/father sacrifice his own life to save our friends (this friend was a man not a child and his name is Manuel) life. Kelly went out doing what he loved to do and what we were called to do....leave the 99 and save the one just as Jesus did. He payed the ultimate price but in return received the ultimate gift of eternal life with our heavenly Father. Our hearts are at peace because we know where he is. We will never get over this but we will get through it step by step with God. I cant begin to express how beyond blessed we feel by everyone and the abundance of the outpouring of love and support we feel here in Costa Rica!!! We are literally feeling a supernatural strength that is sustaining us during this surreal time. My heart is overwhelmed with all the emotions that come with losing someone close but at the same time joy that is unspeakable. We will be having a Celebration of Kellys life service. Once the kids and I are back in Texas (hopefully within a couple days) we will begin planning the service. I will post and keep everyone informed with the details of when and where. Please accept my apologies if I do not respond to messages or calls right away or possibly not at all. I am not on facebook right now other than to keep everyone informed. Me and the kids want to thank you all for everything!!! We love each and every one of you!!! 💗💗💗

It was a pleasure and honor to work with Manuel at a childrens Christmas outreach yesterday in San Rafael, Heredia. It was great to see smiles on the parents and kids faces as we handed out each and every gift to all the kids that came. But the greatest gift was seeing 15 children give their life to the Lord. To God be the Glory! 💗