Choice Mom Coach
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Choice Mom | Certified Coach | Certified Fertile Body Therapist
My parents had a lot of feelings about this decision. And honestly — I understood every single one of them. 🤍
1️⃣ They knew nothing about donors
Who is this person? What are we passing on to our grandchild? Are they healthy? Educated? They had never seen a donor profile before. Once I showed them just how much information you actually receive — health history, genetic testing, education, personality, even audio recordings — their fear around this started to soften.
2️⃣ They thought it was selfish to bring a child into the world without a father
This one stung. But I understood where it came from. They weren’t trying to hurt me — they were worried about my child. It took time and many conversations for them to see that a child can be deeply loved and fully supported without a father in the traditional sense.
3️⃣ They worried about what the community would think
In our culture, what others think carries enormous weight. The idea of facing questions, judgment, and whispers from people they knew was genuinely distressing for them. This fear was less about me and more about their own standing — and I had to give them space to work through that.
4️⃣ They worried about how hard it would be for me
This one came from love. They knew what solo parenting looked like — the financial pressure, the exhaustion, the weight of doing it all alone. They weren’t wrong. It is hard. But I was ready for it.
5️⃣ They still believed a partner would come
They wanted me to wait. They were convinced that if I just held on a little longer, the right person would show up. And for a long time, so did I.
Today she is the love of their lives and their biggest light and joy. And every reservation they had quietly disappeared the moment she arrived. 🤍
Drop a 🤍 if your family had some of these same concerns.
08/11/2026
I became a mother without a partner, without a fairy tale, and without a road map.
And it is the most empowering decision I have ever made. 🤍
If you are sitting with this dream and don't know where to start — this is for you.
1️⃣ Give yourself permission to want this
Not as a backup plan. Not as a last resort. As a real, valid, courageous choice. I spent years treating this path like something I would turn to if everything else failed. The moment I stopped doing that — the moment I allowed myself to want this as its own beautiful, intentional decision — everything shifted. That permission has to come from you first.
2️⃣ Get your fertility assessment now
Not when you feel ready. Not after you've made the decision. Now. Because the information you get from that one appointment will give you more clarity than years of going back and forth in your own head. Ask about everything — egg freezing, embryo freezing, IUI, IVF, donor selection. The earlier you start learning the more options you have. Knowledge is not scary. The unknown is.
3️⃣ Research your clinic before you commit
Not all clinics are the same. Not all doctors are the same. The clinic you choose will shape your entire experience — how supported you feel, how informed you are, how you are treated when things don't go as planned. Read reviews. Ask for recommendations. Talk to women who have been through it. I walked out of my first clinic mid-cycle because something didn't feel right. Trust your gut. It matters.
4️⃣ Build your support system before you need it
Solo doesn't mean alone. Find your people before the hard moments arrive — a therapist, a coach, a community of women who understand this path. Someone who has walked it and come out the other side. This journey asks a lot of you. You were never meant to carry all of it by yourself.
You don't need a partner. You don't need a fairy tale. You don't need a road map.
You just need to take the first step. 🤍
The full story — and everything I wish I had known before I started — is in my book Choice Mom. Link in bio.
Somewhere out there, your child might have half-siblings. Same donor, different families. How do you even begin to think about that? 👀
This week on Ask The Coach, Reema and Mel get honest about donor siblings, and the fact that they’re in completely different places with it.
Mel’s explored this properly. In the UK, the HFEA lets you write in and request information, so she now knows how many donor siblings there are, their birth years, and their genders. There are WhatsApp and Facebook groups too, no matches yet, but she’s told her daughter these children exist, and that when she’s 18, she can find them if she wants to.
We want to hear from you. Have you looked into your child’s donor siblings? Are you keen to connect, or not there yet? Drop us a comment 🩷
08/07/2026
“Just because you don’t have a partner, doesn’t mean you can’t fulfil your dream of motherhood.”
A reader left this review on Amazon and it reminded me exactly why I wrote this book. 💙
For the woman who is unsure, scared, and quietly wondering if she could really do this on her own — this book was written for you.
You can. And you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Every step of this journey — from the first question to fertility treatments, donor selection, solo pregnancy, and life as a choice mom — is covered in this book. Because no woman should have to navigate this without a roadmap.
Grab your copy. Link in bio. 📖
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