The Fictional Balsam Beach Inn

so it has turned out
that I've abandoned this site
for a long time
no new postings
nothing has made it out
of the editing department
although there is a relentless pile
of possibilities I haven't
found the required energy
to make worthwhile to share
we should all be grateful for
this kind of restraint
that in the past
has been in short supply

yet every day around suppertime
there is an unknown visitor or two
and
I lie awake wondering who and why
but guess it's probably AI

May

haven’t figured out what to do with this site
large changes in reality
have ground writing energy down
there are plenty of dangling ideas

I appreciate those who still visit
anyway
and hope in the new year
to make it more worthwhile
for you to do so

cheers!

First
a little background …

Esio Teri Lark has been head chef from the beginning. Spanning two centuries he has maintained a reputation for aloofness, borderline arrogance, stubbornness, reckless experimentation, sloppy flourishing, a wavering lack of attention to detail, nurturing bizarre saucing concepts, preposterous presentations, a fanatical preoccupation with ultra fresh ingredients and a tendency for obsessive self criticism. Then there are the negatives. Much of this, including the origins of his name, is fortunately behind a pay wall. One persistent rumour has it that he apprenticed with Michael Stadtländer at Eingensinn Farm and this has opened many doors for him over time. Until now no proof of this has surfaced.
Lark, as he is known on good days, has also stepped in to run things when management floundered and has been known to walk on water while under pressure in critical kitchen situations. His last Inn preoccupation centred around his beloved 3D food printer which he modified to skip ingredients and print full meals effectively rendering himself superfluous yet basically insuring his future in the augmented quasi reality of airship.

But despite and perhaps also because of all of this he is widely known for a string of fabulous successes that have happened, it is suspected, more or less by accident. He continually got away with them and his legacy has been enshrined with a small devoted fan club and a series of distasteful infomercials circulating relentlessly on social media. Of course what the former Inn photographer Leanard Capsicum did for him in the kitchen has been largely under appreciated over the years.

Philip R. Space, aka. phil space,
first showed up from a small town on a friday night and started parking cars, moved up through reservations and inventory then finally topped out as day manager. Impressive as that was what he has now found himself involved with, namely as airship master of space and time, is astonishing. This meteoric ascension has to be viewed as a warning that this sort of thing could happen to anyone and it’s not their fault. No one uses his last name anymore.
What was just a concept scrawled on a Stella coaster at the Lion on the Beach years ago has morphed into a galactic phenomenon with Phil Space knock off tshirts having their own Amazon warehouse packed with the latest models that collect energy to power asssist whatever ails you. Humble to-a-t he still often wears his original glow in the dark T-shirt he used parking cars on that first friday night.
Phil's inception of automatic semi weightlessness
is simple to explain (however much gravity is useful in any given moment) but he outdid himself setting it up�with the added bonus of altered teleportation. With all that in place airship has ultimate shared space and relegates 3D food printing and virtual chat rooms to archival status memories. Bob says semi weightlessness is like automatic pedal assist on an ebike.

With an after wedding event as the first occasion bringing most of the old team together another key player is Scarlet Nantés who had originally knocked on the Inn's front door, in uniform, selling girl guide cookies in the early 90's. She rapidly worked her way from chamber maid to housekeeper to general manager and recently became CEO Nantés. Overseeing an after wedding event is well within her grasp although she herself has never been hitched. Scarlet and Lark have discreetly raised some eyebrows on some under reported occasions.

In the early days of Inn Ms Sonya would perch her glasses on the end of her nose and say that’s not true when she read the latest press release and Twirl Spinner would reassure her by saying that it would be. But with airship Twirl's tall tale talents w not needed so she, more than most, was looking in new directions. She wanted to cook and Lark appreciated her flare. It was like pouring gas on a flame.
While Twirl had done her best with scientific abbreviations in the intro describing a modified airship once again Bob said it best when asked what airship was:
“if you could imagine yourself being anywhere you could imagine to be and in a particular situation and be at it with others in the same time and space”.

Kurt Kove grew up on a remote island beach, had a passion about free diving for seafood and slept in a self built treehouse before he was recruited to be a fishing guide in the early days of the Inn when there were fish in the Lake. His career path resembles a run on sentence that circled back on itself. Later on, like the others, he expanded his services by escorting housewives around local boutiques, became knowledgeable about all local tourist attractions including museums, galleries and live theatre and clubbing but he yearned to be back diving again and … bingo! We'll be needing spiney lobsters.

Chives began life as a pick pocket thief who worked nights to get ahead and eventually landed as a Butler on the shores of the Inn. From earnestly becoming everyone’s personal assistant and organizer now he is known as Sir Wirelessness or, more intimately, Sir Light Ness and is basically the caretaker for airship's brain aka Avatarium manager. He repairs connections and airship is teeming with them. What another fabulous career path he personifies from the Inn of opportunity. Bob has him under his wing although neither of them realize it.

And from cutting lawns after school through to becoming an Inn Estates farmhand promoted to foreman then gradually evolving back to his roots on the land is Lief Milch but everybody calls him Jim out of respect - you can call him Jimmie if you help him in the field. He also handles parks and recreation creating on demand micro universes for every occcasion such as readying a garden of eden farm and theatre for wedding guests. He has a close friendship with Lark that dates back and they often have a few glasses together to wind down.

Willow joined the team one summer then continued to work when needed and she really was needed for her feminine perspective. She did it all from 'exquisitely appropriate to the occasion' hostessing to lightening precise administration, choreographed multiple diverse staff energies around her, could monitor and take over in the kitchen, enjoyed small talking her way through a crowded room and had a special pass with the Inn it was thought. She is the kind of being who could magically transform situations and do it with modesty and self delight. She was also allusive with the Innkeeper and that's a fact.

These are some of the key figures and more will be revealed in future posts but now we have to move on.

The plan is that wedding guests will meander about and sign on according to their skills, curiosities, or desire for adventure and with assistance from staff will produce all aspects of an evening's dinner feast and theatre in the round in a specially formatted forest farm paradise.
Groups will be involved in acquisition, construction, food preparation and entertainment - everyone will be involved as participants rather than spectators right up to curtain call.

The next post will be a review of the whole thing.

ready to launch new office shuttle
waiting for a sunny day

With the disappearance
of the Balsam Beach Inn
staff have been drifting in a state
of homeless loss of meaning
and fading into oblivion
we felt that it was time
to take a shot at resolving things
a little more decisively …

So this escapade has been launched as a reunion workshop to explore
what is now what
with this rowdy crew
of eccentric souls

by new EM Warp Propulsion
and packing total AVR transparency
we have set sail and are currently
in geosyncronous orbit over Greece
consolidating inner space
accumulating momentum
for achieving escape velocity
and venturing into outer space
in the general direction of the moon

along a circuitous route
the staff will be mingling together
for the first time in ages
to explain themselves and explore redefined roles for the future although they suspect it’s more likely
they are involved in some kind of extravagant swan song denouement
- a writer’s paradise in other words

We’re also going to a wedding

and then, other things ...
if fatigue doesn’t set in

Twirl Spinner,
former publicist for the group
July 1, 2022