NAARC - Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Recovery Coalition

Spread the awareness, shine light 🕯️ on this horror, make them scurry away in fear of exposure
Wnaad seems to have disappeared, I will not let this die

PSA #205

I will likely be unavailable for the next few days, and posting will be minimal or paused entirely.

In the meantime, I want to draw attention to the previous awareness campaign started by World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day. They made a genuine and important effort to promote awareness and education around coercive control and narcissistic abuse. I reached out recently with concern after noticing no activity this year and offered support in continuing the effort, but I have not yet received a response.

Please continue spreading awareness and supporting one another. If the torch has been set down, I will not hesitate to help carry it forward.

At the moment, I need to devote my full attention to a series of recent discoveries related to systemic access-to-justice issues that extend far beyond my personal situation. What I uncovered has significant implications, and I need time to fully analyze and document and advance it properly.

Thank you to everyone who continues to make this community thoughtful, informed, and supportive.

Community helps with healing, understanding from those who have experienced it, check out the last post for a free support session from a friend of the Page

Hey , Friend of the community Narcovery is offering a FREE zoom session tonight at 7pm EST, link in comments

Highly competent people often get trapped not because they are weak, but because they are problem-solvers.

They assume conflict is a systems failure.
Something to diagnose.
Something to stabilize.
Something to repair.

They enter the relationship believing both people are trying to solve the same problem.

But in coercive dynamics, that assumption is wrong.

The other person may not be pursuing resolution at all.
They may be pursuing control, narrative dominance, dependency, leverage, or emotional extraction.

So the competent partner keeps trying to “fix” a system that is functioning exactly as the other person intends.

The trap is not stupidity.
The trap is misidentifying the environment.

They think they are in a collaborative system when they are actually in an adversarial one.

The coercive dynamic itself was an unknown variable.

And because it was unknown, the problem-solver mistakenly treated it as known and operating in good faith.

The entire model becomes corrupted from the start.

I thought there was a solution.
I didn’t realize the only solution was to get out.

High-functioning people are often good at stabilizing chaos because chaos is familiar.
Many learned early in life to regulate dysfunctional systems, mediate tension, anticipate volatility, and keep things operational.

That becomes a strength professionally.
But inside coercive relationships, it becomes a trap.

They over-function.
They compensate.
They absorb instability.
They keep trying to restore equilibrium.

Meanwhile the other person is benefiting from the instability itself.

The point was never resolution.

That’s the realization survivors struggle with afterward.

Because once you understand the system was adversarial from the beginning, years of confusion suddenly make sense all at once.

There’s something I feel I need to say about this community.

One thing I genuinely respect is how often this space self-moderates thoughtfully.

That is not normal online, especially in spaces this size.

Most large spaces eventually collapse into outrage, tribalism, hostility, echo chambers, or emotional chaos. Especially around difficult topics like trauma, coercive control, abuse, and recovery.

But over and over, I watch people here:

* support each other,
* challenge harmful ideas without cruelty,
* encourage accountability and healing,
* reality test respectfully,
* and protect the tone of the space without turning it into a mob.

And importantly, this community has managed to do that without becoming siloed, hateful, or ideologically captured.

People here disagree sometimes.
People get triggered sometimes.
People are still healing.

But many of you still make the effort to think, reflect, regulate, and communicate with depth and humanity.

You should actually be proud of that.

Seriously.

What we have built here is rare.