Muhande Muruli

This is what THE WORLD missed after Man City and Chelsea dominated the decade with oil money. EPL needs the Arsenal, United, Liverpool rivalry back!

ARSENAL FANS IN NAIROBI. Msisahau kutokea archives Sunday. Make City council police busy! Na nyinyi haters pia you are welcome: We were all born Arsenal fans but many of you changed after taking w**d and alcohol. Larry Madowo should be on the ground to give CNN free views!

CONGRATULATIONS ARSENAL! Man United fans, brace yourself; this is going to be your wórst year of your lives. Let me warm up; when did you last win the league? Mmmh?

Someone tell MAN CITY, we don’t want to win the league today. We want to win it over the weekend with a bitter 1-0 scoreline! How can we p**s off our háters if we win it today? 😡😡😡SIJAFURAHIA.

THOSE QUESTIONING WHY ARSENAL IS WINNING THE LEAGUE. Here is why!
❌WIVU-FUL Manchester United is 17 points behind Arsenal
❌ PAST-TENSED Liverpool is 20 points behind Arsenal
❌ SHAMELESS Spurs is 44 points behind Arsenal and in relegation battle. 44!
❌ NDUTHI-FUL Chelsea is hopelessly 30 points behind Arsenal
❌ THE-TEAM-YOU-ARE-ALL-SUPPORTING Man city is 5 points behind Arsenal. (Okay, make it 2 points loooooser!)
❌ There's NO OTHER AGENDA. We are on top because we took advantage of our 38 games and gained points to favour us. What did you do with your 38 games, give BRUNO 12 assists from corners?

SPOUSES WHO THOUGHT TALENT IS SÈXÚÀLLLY TRANSMITTED.
1. MUNGAI EVE-Used to get million views with her Ex but Siku izi she posts juicy bikini photos but ends up getting 5 likes from hungry Bomet guys.
2. WAKAVINYE-Huyu atazeeka vibaya sana.
3. SECOND WIFE WA MULAMWA- Naskia siku izi ni prime Kante; box to box midfielder.
4. MADEM WOTE WA FLAQO- Smh
5. DAYANA BAHATI- She is a talented content creator but someone lied to her that akilala na Baha, Sauti inakuwa transferred by BJ. Akaanza kuCompete chura pale studio.
6. MILLY CHEBBI- Huyu aende achunge ngombe huko Sotik.
7. MILLY WA JESUS- Jesus hàtès her too.
8. SARA KABU Of Bonfire- She was to start her own company to compete her husband. What happened?
9. Mbona mskue tu k**a BIBI YA CHURCHILL?

They are hyping a guy who has 8 open play assists😂 12 from set pieces, mostly corners.😂! Look at Henry’s stats, that’s how an assist should sound like. He Even Gachagua can assist with a corner! Anyway, Arsenal is winning all the remaining 3 games!

FACEBOOK HAS MADE MORE CONSISTENT TALENTS THAN ANY OTHER APP.
1. MAMMITO after Churchill- Hit after hit.
2. AWINJA- she has the most expensive budget. Mara kamisi matching, Mara feeding the whole community, mara mara achinje a whole cow for content, mara ooh mara ooh
3. NICK AND MAMA RYAN- Hawa waowane tu sasa.
4. FLAQO-Msiseme ni wa YouTube. Alianza FB
5. KARTELO- His first skit blew up on fb. He is now on radio.
6. ZZERO SUFURI- He blew up on Nairobi Gossip.
7. MULAMWA- No one cared about his talents until Nairobi Gosiip made his sexxual life prime news. What is his talent even?
8. DESAGU- He was on the other list but during Covid-time DESAGU was top 3 earner on YouTube competing with kina Emmanuel’a of Nigeria. Lakini pombe cheap weweee!
9. AKOTHE- She gets more views on Facebook than YT and other apps, so….
10. And of course DEM WA FB.
11. ADD
EDIT=> Most of them blew on IG too and the same time, coz these two apps are inter-twinned, so, muache kiherehere!

SIAKA CHALLENGE is trending in America after CHICK FIL employees were fired by the owners after marketing the brand with the “dirty” challenge. Now everyone is participating in the challenge to stand with the fired employees! Niliwaambia Mejja ni genius in a dirty way mkakataa! One American view= 1000 Chepalungu views! The song is minting dollars now!

I want this game to end in a draw so that VILLA gets a better reason to fíght in their last game c a. Incase City wins, it will be by a small goal margin. We don’t care because ARSENAL is going to win all their remaining fixtures, we are just being cautious incase we draw one game!

TIKTOK MAKE THE MOST SHORT-LIVED CELEBS EVER! Kuna mtu mnakumbuka kwa hii list?
1. Bena wa Malines- Huyu alikuwa na talent gani sasa?
2. Lucy Smiles- SMH
3. David Moya- alipata mumama akanona k**a ngoima.
4. Onsongo the comedian- SMH
5. Fardosa- Huyu addict ya chang’aa pia alikuwa celeb? 😂
6. Kaluma Boy- 😂😂
7. Hey Kababa- sauti ya pornno ndio mlipenda
8. Mama wa KuWhistle- Mlinikasirisha na hii “talent”
9. Nduru Man- Refer to number 8
10. Azziad pia aliisha k**a lining ya Gstring.
SPECIAL MENTIONS(Not Tiktokers but waliisha k**a kamisi)
12. Shakila
13. DESAGU