Complex Trauma Resources

📚 Sept. 22: Pro-d day! 🍎 What workshop are you taking this Friday? Consider spending the day learning about how stress and trauma can impact the brain and body.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Certificate Provided (5 hours) – Link in bio

For children who have endured trauma, it's essential to understand that the impact isn't just a distant memory of a past event. Instead, these children internalize the trauma, causing it to become something that they experience ongoingly. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​This ongoing trauma disrupts their emotional equilibrium and hinders their capacity to form meaningful connections. Consequently, they start to cultivate negative, frequently shame-driven perceptions of themselves and the world.

Physiologically, this trauma leads to a disconnection from their emotions and the present moment. Profound changes that significantly affect their ability to feel secure, trust others, engage in intimate relationships, maintain self-esteem, and assert themselves.

📚 Sept. 22: Pro-d day! 🍎 Teachers/staff in Coquitlam, Delta, Langley, North Van, Richmond, or Vancouver, your first semester workshop awaits. Explore stress & trauma's impact on the brain/body. Link in bio.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

As adults, we often underestimate how much we all need a champion. But if you take a moment to reflect on your upbringing, I'm sure you would think fondly of those who believed in your ability to become the best version of yourself. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​So we need to be these people for our children and youth. Especially for those who have experienced trauma and therefore, have a difficult time believing that they are good.

We are our children’s mirrors, and we reframe their big behaviours to things such as:​​​​​​​​​- “You haven’t had time to learn this yet.” ​​​​​​​​​- “You're on a learning journey, and this is a lesson that takes time."
- “You're in the process of building your skills to handle situations like this."

Such reframes remind us that our children don't have years of scaffolding on how to cope with stress, disappointment, or anger.

For more information and a script to play around with, watch our reel “How to describe kids who:
manipulate
lie
cheat
dominate, etc.”

We hear first-hand from educators how challenging it is to support children with trauma backgrounds, while still caring for all the kids in their classroom.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​This fall we are planning to host pro-d workshops to equip educators and school staff with practical strategies to help children heal in the classroom. Stay tuned for more info coming soon.

When we step onto the same side as our kids seeking to understand their perspective, we build trust, connection, and empathy — even when saying no or setting limits. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​While it doesn't guarantee an absence of meltdowns, it increases the likelihood of your child feeling seen, heard, and understood.

Empathizing with their experiences helps them realize that you truly understand them, and over time, it becomes easier for them to accept your no as a reflection of their best interests.

Parenting has no shortcuts, but this tool is essential for fostering connection in times of heightened disconnection.

For more information and a script to play around with, watch our reel, “Maintaining connection when you have to say "No"

If you have never had anyone teach you what sadness or anger looks or feels like, it just feels like chaos.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​An incredibly effective way to teach emotional awareness is by modelling them when we experience an emotion (e.g. sadness, frustration, disappointment) and talking out loud about our process so our kids can make sense of what we are doing.

By providing them with a roadmap to follow and experiment with, we empower our kids to explore their own emotional landscape. Remember, they'll need to see the roadmap many times before they can effectively navigate it themselves.

For more information and a script to play around with, watch this week's reel, “How to help kids learn what they think or feel inside.”

Being part of any family—especially as a foster or adoptive child—can bring up fears and worries about differences. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Foster and adoptive children may feel scared or uncertain about where they fit in.

As parents, it's our role to provide a sense of security and acceptance for who our children are.

When we talk openly and respectfully and sometimes, playfully about all the ways (including ourselves) we are the same and different, we help our children feel seen, heard, and valued.

For more information and a script to play with, watch this week's reel, “How to talk about differences and build connection.”

Power struggles are exhausting—especially when they seem to happen on repeat.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​We MUST look underneath power struggles and be curious about why they happen in order to effectively reduce them.

Check out this week’s reel, “What lies beneath power struggles”, to see a script you can use to help your child begin developing an awareness about why power struggles seem to arise so often.

If we model anger as yelling and shouting, our children are much more likely to reflect back anger to us as yelling and shouting.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​If we model anger with deep breaths, taking space, setting boundaries, and repairing, they will *overtime* reflect back to us similar healthy coping mechanisms.

It takes time but the long-term payoff is an important life skill. This is a long-term game.

Watch this week’s reel titled, “Strategy to try: how to help your kid calm down” for a script to experiment with.