Nancy Gilette RDI Consultant
Providing RDI Services & Support for Parents of Autistic Children & Teens.
I have dedicated two decades of my life to following the passion of my career, supporting families with children/teens with Autism and various other special needs in BC and Alberta. After completing my post-secondary education at Thompson Rivers University and Vancouver Island University, I began my incredible journey in the Autism field. That eventually led to me opening my successful private pra
Ever had your child melt down in a public place?
Maybe they dropped to the floor.
Maybe they ran away.
Maybe they screamed, cried, or hit.....
and suddenly it feels like every eye in the room is on you.
As parents, caregivers, and professionals, it's easy to feel pressure to get the behaviour under control as quickly as possible.
I've been there many times...
As both a parent and professional, I've experienced countless moments where a child was struggling in a public space and all I wanted was for everyone to stop looking.
But here's the shift:
đYour job isn't to make everyone else comfortable.
đYour job is to help your child through the experience.
If children could simply stop a behaviour because we asked them to, they would and we wouldn't have a child having a challenging moment...duh! hehehe
Instead of asking:
"How do I stop this?"
Try asking:
"What might my child be communicating and what can I do to help?"
Behaviour is communication
Often, what we see on the outside is a sign that something is happening underneath:
đ Overwhelm
đ Anxiety
đ Frustration
đ Confusion
đ Difficulty with regulation
When we understand behaviour differently, we can respond differently.
Not by excusing behaviour.
Not by ignoring it.
But by helping our children learn, regulate, recover, and develop new ways of navigating difficult situations over time :)
Who Knew...Over 25 years ago, I started this work because I wanted to help children. The children who were misunderstood, Judged, Confused..
The ones just trying to get along in a world that didn't always make sense to them. What surprised me was how much of the work became helping the environment around the child.
Being a parent is hard.. and as I met so many amazing families and with my own journey.. Us parents are doing the best we can..in world that is confusing with soo many demands and the truth is... parenting is complex, it's dynamic.
There is no "how-to" manual for parenting a neurodivergent child.....There are more questions, decisions, advocating and learning.
Trying to understand what your child needs while also trying to support yourself and your family..bah..there is soo much to navigate!
I was a professional and had all this insight.. but truth is ..When I became a parent it changed... (I still chuckled at what I used to say before kids!! Lol)..It pushed me to think differently.
To dig deeper.
To become more reflective.
To find out what truly supports an neurodivergent brain (thank you RDI!)
I had to let go of old assumptions and find a different way forward.
And through all these years, I've realized that the greatest gift I can offer parents isn't a perfect strategy or a quick fix.
It's a opportunity to shift to different perspective.
Because when we begin to see behavior differently, understand regulation differently, and view our children through a lens of curiosity, everything starts to shift.
Want to learn more about what I am talking about.. pm me!
06/16/2026
I am SO excited to offer The Autism Shift: Summer Edition! âď¸
This series is designed to provide parents and caregivers with a different perspective on autism...one that focuses on understanding, engagement, regulation, and supporting development.. at any age!
Together, we'll explore simple, practical strategies that can help you:
⨠Better understand behaviour
⨠Support emotional regulation
⨠Foster social development and independence
⨠Create more connection in everyday moments
Join me and other families this summer as we learn, reflect, and discover a different way forward.
PM me for more info :)
05/22/2026
Letâs talk about change....because for many families, this is hard.
So many parents notice that challenging behaviour shows up when:
¡ routines change
¡ something unexpected happens
¡ the TV gets turned off
¡ thereâs a transition to a new environment
This has been a conversation Iâve had for over 20 years. We often hear, âautism doesnât like change.â But the real question is why?
Itâs not about being stubborn or oppositional. Itâs because the brain isnât prepared to make the mental shift. When the brain isnât ready, the body reactsâand thatâs where dysregulation shows up.
This is why transition supports matter.
Iâve been giving my own child consistent transition warnings for over 10 years. Why? Because it supports regulation. It helps her brain get ready so that the unexpected doesnât automatically lead to a challenging momentâshe can move through the transition regulated.
Change happens all the time. The goal isnât to avoid itâitâs to support it.
And because our kids are still developing (research shows brain development continues until about age 25âand for some, even longer), they need support. Thatâs not a failure. Thatâs development.
Transition supports might include:
¡ visual schedules
¡ timers
¡ alarms
¡ reminders
¡ whatever works for your child
But hereâs the important part: the tool alone isnât enough.
As parents and caregivers, we need to model how the support is used so it becomes meaningful and functional.
For example:
âIâm going to set a timer for myself so I can stop scrolling on my phone.â
Thatâs modelling. Thatâs teaching the purpose of the tool.
Sometimes I hear, âMy child hates timersâitâs too much pressure.â And thatâs important information.
We need to ask:
¡ Was the expectation too big?
¡ Was the demand realistic?
¡ Could the child stop in the middle of something engaging?
Itâs not about forcing the transition, or thinking its only one tool...itâs about partnering with the brain and teaching how to shift.
"Changes is part of life. Transitions are unavoidable.
But dysregulation doesnât have to be"
With the right supports, taught intentionally, we can help autistic children move through change with more confidence, safety, and regulation...and help your child experience regulation when change happens..
Spring Break puppy! We got Joey 2 weeks ago and I canât imagine our world without himđđ
04/02/2026
Autism isnât something that needs to be fixed.
Itâs something that needs to be understood.
April 2 is Autism Awareness DayâŚand autism isnât just one day for me (and most of you reading this) ... itâs part of my life, every single day⌠and I truly love it. đ
Letâs take a moment to celebrate the beauty of neurodiversity and the authenticity that comes through autism (even the hard times of dysregulation, overwhelmed and exhausting at times)--cause that alone is something to celebrate-> reliance at its finest.
Being on this journey (with families with children, teens, and adults) is a deeply meaningful experience. Itâs has shaped how I see the world, how I connect, and how I support others.
I feel incredibly grateful to have built my career within the autism community. Through my work, lived experiences, and learning (including RDI), Iâve come to understand what it means to live more authentically and intentionally to create a quality of life.
Autism isnât about fitting into a mold.
Itâs about understanding, supporting, and nurturing each personâs unique way of being ...while building skills that support a meaningful quality of life.
Letâs continue to grow awareness, shift perspectives, and lead with understanding and respect for autistic individuals ... today and every day.đ¤đ
04/23/2025
When Grocery Shopping Feels Impossible â¨
Ever been here?
You walk into the storeâlist in hand, plan in mind.
Youâve done this before. You know what needs to happen.
But your autistic child? Yeah⌠theyâve got other plans.
đ The lights? Too bright.
đ The sounds? Way too much.
đ¨ The plan? Falling apart faster than you can say, âHere, take my phone.â
You feel their anxiety rising.
You feel your own regulation slipping.
But the groceries still need to get done.
So what do you do? Take a moment.. thats it..
You pause.
You breathe.
You meet them where they are and be curious what can I do to help (rather than focusing on control of behaviour).
⨠Find a role (hello co-regulation) something simple and predictable to keep them engaged.
đ âChild can hold the apple bag open, and Iâll put the apples in.â
đ âCan you help me check this off the list?â
Itâs not about rushing through.
Itâs about reframing the moment so it works for both of you.
Small shifts make a world of difference difference.
Understanding behaviour = Less stress and more connection.
Whatâs worked for you during errands? Drop a tip below or DM me..I love hearing whatâs helped other families.
OR even better... come join me in my group today for more insight in everyday life!
04/15/2025
And just like that⌠the evening is here... le sigh
Us parents raising kids in this busy world with different needs..we are doing all. the. things.
Some of you have completely shifted your whole lifestyle to be there for your child.
Some work from home. Some chose homeschooling because the traditional system just wasnât built for their kid. And some didnât..but regardless parents continue to show up in incredible ways....in ways most people donât even see or understand.
Whatever your situationâone thingâs for sure:
𤪠"Some days, balance feels like a total joke. 𤯠It's sooo overwhelming at times!"
Youâre juggling work, therapies, lesson plans, meltdowns, special interests, food requests, life stuffâŚand just when you finally sit down to breathe...you hear a crash from the kitchenâŚ
An âughâ from the bedroomâŚor feel the first wave of a sensory storm rolling in...
Whether itâs your childâs or (letâs be honest) your own. đ¤Ź
Youâre being pulled in every direction.
Because you care. So... Damn... Much....
You want to show up for your child, for your work, and still have energy left for yourself.
But sometimesâyou .just .donât.
Hereâs the hard truth...stop doing so much..you are doing already doing too much.
⨠"Itâs not about doing more⌠itâs about doing what matters most."
When you find strategies that actually fit your child and your life, things start to click.
Not perfect..but progress occurs in small, meaningful shifts....and those shifts? They change everything.đ
đ This is the shift Autism needs. A life thatâs authentic to your child and your family.
Because everything is "figureoutable" --thank you
Wanna learn more and hear more conversations?
Check out my page or visit my Linktree for support, resources, and a different perspective to help you create a life that actually helps.
02/25/2025
You had it all planned out:
A family outing.
A shared meal.
A trip to the park
But then⌠it all unraveled.
You're child/teen got frustrated.
You got frustrated.
And that time youâd set aside for connection? It turned into stress.
Hereâs the thing:
good intentions are a great start, but ----without strategies, they can fall short.
When we approach these moments with flexibility and curiosityâasking what they need and what you needâwe can shift the focus. Instead of chaos, we create space for learning and building skills together.
⨠Letâs talk: Whatâs one thing youâve reframed or adapted to better connect with your neurodivergent child/teen? Share your wisdom in the commentsâIâd love to hear it!
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