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“It Will Be Okay”

After my spouse died, everyone told me, “It will be okay”. I often wondered how these people that never lost a spouse were so sure about that. Sometimes when people haven’t lost someone, or experienced what you’re going through, they can say some really unhelpful things.

For me, this was one of them.

Maybe it would be okay, but when you first lose someone you love the pain is too heavy to imagine that it’s ever going to be okay. When you’re grieving there are just some things that you don’t want or need to hear. (These are those things I always tell you to put in your back pocket for later.)

When I was growing up my mother would always tell me, “If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.”

I remember I went to the cable company to take my spouse’s name off the account. I waited in a long line and then when it was my turn the lady at the counter said to me, “Why are you taking his name off the account?”

At first I thought it was really none of her business, but then I started to cry and replied, “Because he died.”

She said, “It will be okay, but you’re in the wrong line.”

Here’s the thing…..at that point it wasn’t okay. Nothing was okay. Nothing was going to be okay. I didn’t need or want people to keep telling me that.

But tell me they did.

I’ve lost a lot of people in my life, but until the death of my spouse I never realized the different levels and depths of grief that exist when someone you love dies. What I’ve learned is that it never really is okay. You just learn to live around it and find ways to incorporate your loss into your life.

Looking back, I’m pretty sure that lady at the cable company never lost a spouse, because if she did she would have just helped me instead of making me cry and sending me to another long line to wait in.

When people tell me they lost someone they love I never tell them it will be okay…...I just tell them it sucks!

Gary Sturgis – “Surviving Grief”