HorsesExplained

It’s not that I’ve never said those words. I think I’m writing this because I’ve said them too many times myself.

I remember coming home from a dressage bootcamp at what was, at the time, one of the most prestigious dressage barns in the country. I got on my little mare with my new professional attitude, stronger seat, more precise aids and all this new knowledge. Except there was one problem. My mare hadn’t been at that bootcamp. I had. Sadly, instead of using what I had learned to teach her, I became more demanding. I was stronger and more precise, but that didn’t mean she suddenly understood what I was asking. She became stronger in her answers, I became stronger in mine, and our rides became a fight from both sides.
I wish I understood then that education should give us more ways to explain something to the horse, not more ways to make him do it.

And that’s only one example. A horse bites the stall bars, and we yell at him. He cribs, and we put a cribbing collar on. He doesn’t go forward, so we use more force and call him lazy. He stops reacting, and we call him bombproof.

Of course, not every unwanted behaviour means pain, fear or bad management. Horses learn behaviours too. But stopping a behaviour and understanding why it is happening are two very different things. We say we want a relationship with our horses. That’s why we have them, no? So maybe we need to become a little less interested in correcting every answer we don’t like, and a little more interested in understanding why the horse gave us that answer in the first place.

-Joanna

How strange is it that we so often blame the horse for his inability to communicate, when we are the ones who failed to learn his language?

We confuse clarity with dominance. Patience with passivity. Gentleness with weakness. And listening with ignorance.
We want trust and connection, but we speak in anger and rush. We want improvement, but we don’t have time to learn. And somewhere in the middle of all of this is a horse. Listening. Waiting. Responding in the best way he knows how.

So before we call him naughty, stubborn, dumb, dramatic or overreacting, maybe we should first ask ourselves:

Am I educated enough in his language to make that claim?

Because perhaps the horse isn’t failing to communicate. Perhaps we simply haven’t learned how to listen yet.

-Joanna

We spend so much time learning to read them—their behaviour, body language, tension, emotions.
But let's remember that relationship goes both ways. Horses are learning us too. Our timing. Our habits. Our tension. Our predictability. What happens when they say no. What happens when they get it right.

Maybe understanding horses also requires occasionally looking at ourselves from their side.

-Joanna

For me, this came with age and experience. At some point I grew out of chasing perfection. Or, probably more truthfully, chasing being better than someone else.
For a long time riding kept me focused on training, making things happen, pushing myself, riding until I was out of breath and sometimes crossing that line between bravery and stupidity. Sometimes it was fun, sometimes scary, and sometimes it really did make me grow.
But that’s the thing. It made ME grow. Not necessarily US. I think this is where maturity as a rider starts. When you stop looking only at your own goals and start looking at how you and your horse are growing together.
I could tell you how good this is for the horse, for their needs, for their wellbeing. I could talk about what it does for us too. But some things are difficult to explain until you experience them.

So I’ll just invite you to make some space for it. Waste some time with your horse. Get to know them outside of what they can do for you.
Because when that relationship becomes yours, there is suddenly much less you need to prove to anyone else.

-Joanna

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Knowing a horse and having a horse are two very different things. I see so many people just existing next to their horses. And I get it. It’s faster, easier, easier to manage. We have things to do, so we catch them, groom them, ride them, put them away.

But I think the real beauty of having a horse starts with giving them time and space. Time where we’re not rushing them or constantly asking for the next thing. Space for an actual conversation.
And yes, I know “making your horse feel seen” sounds cliché. I don’t really care. Because once you’ve experienced a relationship with a horse who knows you’re listening, you understand the difference.

Your horse becomes your friend. Not just your ride. Not just a pet.

-Joanna

How easy is it to lose patience? I’ve been guilty of that way too many times. Because there is so much pressure in the equestrian world to be better and better. For the horse to be perfect. To impress people, to please coaches, to make progress.
And when someone is really good, riding looks so easy from the outside. That lightness, suppleness and almost invisible communication can make us think we should be able to get there quickly too. And we can get there. But not by forcing it or rushing towards it.

We get there by listening to the horse, being patient enough to hear the answer, and being open to having a conversation rather than just giving instructions.

And maybe, at some point, we become so good at that dialogue that we need very few words at all.

Just like old friends.

-Joanna

Think of being HANGRY. Hunger changes how we feel, and how we feel changes how we respond. Someone may see irritation. Hunger is part of what sits behind it.
With horses, we often work in the opposite direction. The horse bites when being girthed—correct the bite. Rushes towards the barn — slow him down. Refuses to go forward — add more leg. Becomes agitated around food—teach him to stand. Sometimes it works. The behaviour stops. But what stopped? The problem, or its expression?

Behaviour can be influenced by pain, fear, frustration, deprivation, conflicting motivations, unmet needs and previous learning. It is the visible part of a much bigger picture. This doesn't mean unwanted behaviour shouldn't be addressed, especially when safety is involved. It means that correction should come with investigation.
When does it happen? What happens before it? What makes it better or worse?

Then look at the horse's body, environment, needs and training. Behaviour gives us information. We should use it.

●Joanna
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References
☆ McDonnell, S.M. (2003). The Equid Ethogram.
☆ Zeitler-Feicht, M.H. (2004). Horse Behaviour Explained.
☆ Mills, D.S. & McDonnell, S.M. (eds.) (2005). The Domestic Horse.

Don’t rush. It is a process. Your journey with your horse is happening here. Now. And it will never happen exactly this way again.
There will always be another exercise to learn, another level to reach, another person doing something you cannot do yet. None of that is very important in the end. What matters is what kind of journey you gave your horse while getting there.
Our responsibility is to the horse. Not to our ambitions, not to somebody else’s timeline, and not to proving where we should be by now.

Take your time. Most of what feels so important today is fleeting anyway.
The horse is not.

-Joanna