Rachel Rose

I’ve been sitting with whether to share this post. And I think because this is something I still struggle with from time to time, there is vulnerability in it.

And yet, perhaps because it has been such a big theme for me in this life, I’ve learnt a thing or two along the way that feels valuable to share. So here we go 👇🏽

Let’s talk about leaky energy, weak energetic boundaries and “energy vampiring,” and how this shows up inside spiritual, healing and therapeutic spaces.

There comes a time in everyone’s life where they end up being the person who takes too much.

This is something that will probably resonate for many people, especially those who work 1:1 or hold group containers. But also for those who are on the receiving end of those services and offerings.

Think back to a time when you felt lost, confused, desperate or disconnected from your power.
In a space of lack. A season where you didn’t feel strong enough to self-resource. So you met others with grabby energy.

When we’re in this place, we don’t know how to meet our needs directly. So instead, we find strategic ways to get them met.
Often trying to harvest energy from others because we’re unable to find it from within ourselves.

In spiritual spaces, there’s a shadow that plays out often. The “energy vampire.”
The person who takes more from the space than they give.

It can look like sending too many often long and loaded messages.
Hovering at the door to ask more questions.
Manipulating group dynamics to bring attention back to themselves.
Not paying on time, creating an energetic leak that the facilitator has to chase.
Now, I’m not writing this to shame anyone. Because I’ve been this. So. Many. Times!!

And if you look honestly at your own journey, there’s a good chance you have too.

When I put my holistic counsellor hat on, I see this through the lens of trauma, attachment and being deeply under-resourced.
We’re seeking connection, validation, power, recognition. The list goes on…
There is always a need underneath the behaviour trying to be met.
But instead of consciously meeting that need, it can show up as an unconscious attempt to feed off the facilitator, the group, or the energy in the space.

So how do we navigate this?

As space holders, I believe it starts within.
It’s easy to label someone an energy vampire.
It’s MORE POWERFUL to ask: where are my OWN boundaries weak?
Where AM I using my own spaces to get my needs met?
Perhaps to feel seen, validated, liked, important, powerful?
Where am I subtly feeding off my clients or students in order to feel bigger or stronger?

They are important questions to reflect on when you’re in a helping role. Because if you don’t get clear on why you help others...and really look at what you get from helping...then the exchange isn’t pure. It becomes bound up in hidden agendas that will eventually play out in your spaces.
It’s complex.

And it requires the space holder to have done a significant amount of shadow work, mentorship and supervision. But that’s a story for another day.

My mentor used to say, “Be the client you want as a facilitator.”
Show up on time.
Pay on time.
Contribute to the space.
Notice where you’re uncontained in your emotions.
Honour a fair balance of giving and receiving.
Because if we don’t take responsibility for our own energy, eventually it catches up to us.

We can finger point and say the client is an energy vampire.
Or we can strengthen our own boundaries so this dynamic doesn’t manifest in our spaces. And if it does (because we’re human and themes will arise in spaces/therapeutic relationships to be explored), we know how to respond with firmness, humility and compassion.

We can then model what healthy boundaries and self-responsibility look like.

We show others that boundaries are not rejection, they create safety. They allow for secure, healthy, long-term relationships in both personal and professional spaces.
Without them, no one feels safe. And that’s a problem.

And perhaps most importantly, we remove the shame from this archetype.
Because when we can admit we’ve all played it at some point, the charge softens.
The shadow loses its grip, because we lovingly own it and can begin meeting the needs that are crying out to be cared for.

For me, I sometimes still struggle with not taking on the energy of my clients. I sometimes run overtime in sessions. I sometimes give too much. I sometimes still have parts of me that are seeking to be heard, valued and seen.
But I am aware of them.

So I can tend to them with love and care, instead of letting them hijack the space or rupture relationships.

So, if this resonated, I’d love to hear from you in the comments… and if you feel willing to own your own “energy vampire,” how it’s shown up for you along the way.

With love,
Rachel Rose
Holistic Counsellor & Shamanic Healer
www.rachelrose.co

Right before every single shamanic healing I give… I think,
“I don’t want to do this.”

And if you’ve ever felt resistance to the very thing that feels bigger than you...your calling, your soul work, the thing you know you’re here for...this is for YOU.

Because that resistance? It doesn’t mean you’re off path.
Sometimes it means you’re right on it.

Before a clearing, a few things happen:

First 👉🏽 my field starts to resonate with the client’s. I can feel the entanglements. The entities. The “f**king with” energy. Any sane person would want to avoid that. Sometimes my whole system gets overwhelmed and just says NOPE. I don’t want to go near it.
Lucky for me, I have the tools.
But that doesn’t mean it’s not confronting.

Second 👉🏽 this work feels big. Bigger than me. Bigger than my ancestors. It feels like something I’m constantly being asked to step into more fully. And that kind of expansion? It’s not always comfortable.

Since stepping into shamanic healing, I’ve wanted to quit more times than I can count. I’ve spat the dummy. I’ve told clients I don’t have availability when I do. I’ve complained it’s too hard. Too much energy. Not worth it.

And yet.
After every single session, I leave feeling more like myself.
More connected.
Like I’ve come home to my being. My truth. What I came here for.

So what’s really going on? (and why this might be valuable to you)...

When you’re being asked to step into who you truly are, of course you want to push it away.
Because stepping in means change.

It means looking at yourself.
It means seeing where you’re out of integrity.
It means becoming better, daily.
It means holding discomfort, daily.
It means living with the sacred mirror all around you, reflecting back what you’d rather not see.

That’s not light, fluffy and easy work. That's HARD.

So if you’re rejecting the calling right now, it doesn’t mean you’re weak.
It might just mean you’re not resourced enough yet to hold that level of expansion.

🦋(And as I wrote that, a big black butterfly flew past my window lol. The timing.) 🦋

So where do you go from here?
Lean in 1%.
Not all in.
Not burn your life down.
Not force yourself into something your nervous system can’t hold.
Just 1%.

Do ONE thing that challenges you.
One thing that aligns with the vision.
One thing your heart knows is true.

If I had let my mind lead, I would have quit halfway through my training. lol.
But my heart knew.
This is home.

In sacred space, I know who I am with a certainty I don’t feel anywhere else. And to run from that… would be the ultimate self-betrayal.

So don’t betray yourself.

Lean in 1%.
Then another 1%.
Then another.
And one day, you’ll look back and realise, you didn’t force your becoming.
You allowed it. 1% at a time.

Musings from my morning walk.
With love,
Rachel Rose
Holistic Counsellor & Shamanic Healer
www.rachelrose.co

This space is for sensitive souls ready to break cycles of anxiety, shutdown, burnout, boundary guilt, and repeating relationship patterns.

Together we’ll regulate your nervous system, heal generational patterns, and reconnect you to your Soul path.
You’ll shift from survival to embodied presence, learning to trust yourself and create relationships that feel safe.

Now offering in-person sessions at Mooloolaba Wellness Collective (or online via Zoom).

🥳 Plus I’m celebrating with an intro offer: 3 x 60min sessions for $300 (20% off).
📲Free 15min consults also available, so we can explore if we’re the right fit.

📍

Comment below or send me a DM if you’d like to know more

It’s a big question, and I’m going to answer it by sharing a little story.

The patterns that keep showing up are showing up because something within you is still yet to be healed and resolved.

The solution? You need to be able to SEE the pattern and then BREAK the pattern.

This is something I have helped a lot of women inside my 1:1 coaching containers achieve, if you want support with this, send me a DM to discuss the best pathway for you.

With love,

Rachel Rose

Don't panic if this becomes your reality on the spiritual path.

The journey peaks and troughs.

Sometimes you're on cruise control, vibing the growth and enjoying the expansion 😎

Sometimes you're in fetal position on the floor of your bathroom mourning your Ego as it dies for the 8th time this year 😅

It's all normal. And as Eckart Tolle says, this too shall pass.