Sleep Thrive Grow

I’m calling this the pre and post partum motherhood remix 🤣 Anyone relate?!

It’s not just sleep is it?! It’s the mental load, the isolation, the pressure (internally and externally) to get it right.

Many of you that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and supporting have consumed hundreds of hours of sleep information, but I know very few of you have had someone ask: “How are YOU coping?”

I absolutely believe we can build capacity within our nervous system and learn to regulate ourselves more effectively in parenting.

But I also believe co-regulation matters HUGELY.

Because humans were never designed to do this alone. One of the things I often think when people tell parents to “just co-regulate” is: How do you co-regulate when nobody is regulating you?

How do you stay calm when you’ve been surviving on broken sleep for months?

How do you trust yourself when you’ve lost confidence after trying everything?

How do you hold space for someone else’s emotions when you’re barely holding yourself together?

This is why support matters. Often what begins to change in my work isn’t just a baby’s sleep. It’s watching parents breathe for the first time in months. Watching them stop analysing every wake-up. Watching them start trusting themselves again.

Because community, support and being held by others isn’t separate from sleep or a parenting fail. It’s part of the sleep ecosystem and normal sustainable parenting.

We were never meant to parent in isolation and then wonder why we’re struggling.

I don’t think there’s a parent alive who isn’t craving some level of being seen, understood and supported right now.

And maybe that’s why support can feel so powerful. Not because it changes the baby overnight. But because it helps the parent feel safe enough to keep showing up.

And sometimes that’s where everything starts to change. Give me a 💛 below if you resonate.

’sMyParentingVillage

You don’t need more pressure and I’m pretty sure you don’t need another generic sleep schedule.

You need support that helps you understand your baby, trust yourself, and create a version of sleep that feels sustainable for everyone.

If that sounds like what you’ve been looking for, support beyond black outs and awake windows reach out for a free Sleep Clarity Session and let’s explore what support could look like for your family. 💛

Discomfort is the first essential step to making confident kids 👌

Why do we expect teenagers to be supported through adolescence, but mothers are expected to navigate matrescence alone? 😱

We say:
“Teenagers are hormonal.”
“They’re finding themselves.”
“They need guidance.”
“Their brains are changing.”

And all of that is true. And guess what, motherhood is the SAME!

Your brain re-wires.
Your identity changes.
Your nervous system changes.
Your priorities change.
Your relationships change.
Your sense of self changes.

Yet somehow society still sells mothers the idea that we should “bounce back,” hold it all together, and be grateful every second while quietly drowning under the invisible load.

Of course hypervigilance goes through the roof.
Of course anxiety can increase.
Of course you feel torn between who you were and who you’re becoming.

And before we go ahead, blame, shame and diagnose, maybe we can recognise this first ☝️

That ambivalence doesn’t mean you’re failing motherhood.
It means you’re moving through matrescence.

And just like adolescence it takes time.

Time to grieve.
Time to rebuild.
Time to work out where your value comes from now.
Time to understand yourself again.

So just as society has accepted:
“they’re just being teenagers…”

Maybe we should start saying:
“she’s moving through matrescence.”

Because mothers were never meant to do this unsupported.

And because when you don’t feel safe,
sleep often stops feeling safe for your nervous system too.

That’s why I created my (matrescence friendly) free guide:
“When Sleep Doesn’t Feel Safe.”

A gentle resource to help you understand the nervous system side of sleep, hypervigilance and why motherhood can feel so intense in this season.

Comment SAFE below and I’ll send it through 💛

Now I’m not an awake times hater (a have a free download of them so that would be a little hypocritical 😜) Because In 6 years consulting, i’ve seen awake times become a useful guide (not a fan of the well-known app suggestions though sorry!) and also the opposite.

For the families they have supported they’ve shined most when interpreted loosely and alongside the bigger picture.
For others, they’ve caused stress and hell (literally) and that’s okay but not okay (of course) when we want sleep to be as stress free as possible.

You’ve probably heard the online noise around awake times ⤵️
“They’re not evidence based.”
“Throw them out.”
“Follow them exactly.”

But reality (and life let’s be honest) is far more nuanced.

We know baby sleep is influenced by ⤵️
→ temperament
→ sensory nourishment
→ stress levels (us & them)
→ development
→ feeding
→ connection + co-regulation
→ circadian rhythm
→ nervous system regulation

Which means no routine or awake window can perfectly predict a human baby every day! (Remember this when your app tells you you they need to sleep now 🤯)

I hear all the time “I followed the routines and sleep still isn’t improving.”

And my first thought is: I wouldn’t expect anything different.

Because sleep is more layered. Predictability and rhythm are wonderful for nervous system safety. But they’re not the be-all and end-all either.

Sometimes awake times reduce stress for parents.
Sometimes they create more stress.

Why are we arguing 🤦🏼‍♀️

Let come back to what is important, what areas of support YOU need. If you’re ready to understand your baby’s sleep on a deeper level beyond just routines and awake windows you’re going to love it here 💛

Now for the nuances, tell me your awake windows story below. Lover ❤️ or hater 🔥…let them burn 🤣🤣

One of the clearest examples I ever see of temperament shaping sleep is beautiful twins! 😍😍

Same parent(s).
Same home.
Same routines.
Same foundations.

Yet often completely different sleep needs!

I worked with a twin mum recently where one baby needed much more support winding down and settling into sleep. More closeness. More reassurance. More help transitioning.

Whereas the other actually became MORE frustrated with too much involvement. More support created more resistance, more fighting sleep and more waking.

Neither child was “wrong.”
Neither parent had created “bad habits.”

They simply had different nervous systems.

And honestly, I think this can be one of the most stretching lessons in parenting especially for parents who naturally love systems, predictability and doing things “right.”

Because children constantly invite us to get comfortable with adapting and being flexible. Only then can we begin asking:

“What does THIS child need from me?”
Not:
“How do I make this child fit the plan?”

I truly believe unconditional love and acceptance is felt in the sleep world too. Not changing who our children are but learning how to work WITH them. ✨

So if you feel like your hands trying a brick wall when it comes to your baby’s sleep, you may simply be in a square peg round hole situation and tailoring sleep to YOUR child’s temperament instead of trying to force generic advice to fit could be exactly what you need.
You ready for it? Comment CLARITY and let’s start chatting 💛

Anything that stops us shallow breathing all day and adds some humour to this parenting whirlwind I’m down for 🤣