Timony Souler

Managed to drop the vacuum on my foot and give myself a contusion. Have decided to channel Kafka in my journalling. There is a flask of tea. Small comforts.

There's still fragments inside me somewhere; hoping to escape, praying for wholeness

It's my birthday today but I'm really not in the mood to celebrate. Things are slowly getting better but my housing situation is still very precarious and the stress of that is beyond words right now.

I've had to rely on my community for help over the past six months, and the fact that I have one to call on is truly a blessing.

I'd love if you show up for this amazing concert that's bound to be a great time and we'll call it a belated birthday celebration while we're at it ♥

Sort of an update, mostly just what's in my head

Stuck Inside My Head (and My Apartment): A Chronic Pain Tale Part I My mind is screaming at me to write something — anything at all. Maybe I need to get all of this out — this time wasted staring at walls…

There's still poetry in me, when I can look past the pain long enough

everyone has secrets and I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours
maybe we can create a masterpiece with all the colours
our tongues know how to paint all
while we desperately hold our ughest masks in place
everyone lies sometimes and maybe I'll learn how to
show you my truth if you show me yours
and we'll add in all the fine details our lies forgot
while our masks begin to crack just ever so slightly
here, sharpen your claws while I bare my chest
you can bury your secrets deep inside
I promise not a soul would know - not even the one I lost
dreaming of a big beautiful life because
(and heres the only secret I'll never tell)
I've always been too afraid that all the little lies I hide in your shadow
are bigger than any dream I could swallow whole
whole worlds I've built in a darker corner of the soul I sold
sold to the highest bidder so I could run and keep on running
and everyone runs away from something only they stop
long enough to look back sometimes
but I never will because (and here's another secret I'll never tell)
I don't want to become all the bloody parts of myself I tore away
with blunted claws and serrated knife edges
keep sharpening yours so you can rend this ribcage wide open
this ribcage that was once used as both piano and punching bag
so you can look deep inside where my tired heart can't
seem to stem the bleed I can never find
find it so you can tell me if it's still worthy of beating
if I'm still worthy of loving despite all the secrets I'll never tell

Like, share, donate. Do whatever you can to help me get out this depression pit and back to working and creating 🖤

TikTok · Timony Souler Check out Timony Souler’s video.

A wee update ft a sleepy Salem:

I'm still in a whole lot of pain, but I'm getting a little mobility back. I can walk around with a cane, as long as I don't move my head or my right arm too much, for as long as 15 minutes. And I can kinda sit up for a few hours before I feel like I'm gonna collapse.

I've started physio and had a change up of meds, so hopefully there'll be more healing, and maybe even faster healing.

I'm still broke as f**k and the shenanigans disguised as bureaucracy are making me go a little nuts. So I'm still crowd funding my existence (link in bio).

I'm still really f**king tired and being alive is really hard.

Sorry this wasn't a happier update. Idk when those will happen.

*tishard

I was supposed to be reading this poem at an open mic but I never made it. You can read the whole thing on Medium if you wanna

I drew this little guy a few months ago. This drawing was meant to be a "first attempt" at both Madhubani style art and using more colour in my art.

Hopefully I'll be back to being able to draw more in a few months. If you feel like helping me get back to drawing shiny things then please consider donating to my gofundme (link in bio) or even just sharing the link so more people can see it and help me hit my goal faster!

Unril then you'll find me snuggling up with the cats and binge watching 🖤

As you all know things are really rough atm with being injured, unable to work or create and on the verge of losing my apartment. I would appreciate if you could share or donate to the gofundme that's been set up to help me get back on my feet 🖤

https://gofund.me/204b862d