HeartFelt

It seemed like I stepped out of a movie this Sunday when the porter asked me if I had ever visited this park before. Just like in one of those scenes when the spectators and protagonists know that this question can only come from a clueless outsider who missed the narrative of the past 50 years, I stopped and swallowed my shock. And for that moment, while reflecting on an adequate answer, I felt slightly insulted as everyone should and so should he know that this is my birthplace, my DNA, my right to be here even when the gates are closed. Because this landscape, the paths and the bridges, the trees and bushes all know. They saw me as a kid playing with our gang of kids, witnessed our antics and joys. He is merely a porter guarding an abandoned hospital site and its serene park but "I am coming home. " I said. And walked and breathed and took it all in for I never get tried of listening to the birds, to the sounds of nature, to the total absence of man-made-noise. This is my eternal landscape of bliss.

In another landscape I was again by eight pm. In a supreme, gold-guilded, red-velvet-cushioned hall of music where Max Richter transcended us into his musical piece of In A Landscape: an otherworldly interpretation of sounds that transformed my mind from hearing his music to only hearing myself beyond the ordinary level of thoughts. His music cleaned all the noise out of my mind creating an ever expanding space for intuition to awake and fly.

This experience that I had only felt in the landscape of my birth place was recreated by this extraordinary musician in a concert hall. And now I can't stop longing for this supernatural state of mind, for this purity and intuition.

For when I hear Max Richter's In A Landscape I ultimately and finally hear myself.

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I am spending the year-end days in the apartment of dear friends who will return in two days. This being alone at friends' home is becoming a wonderful realisation of what being sola a casa can gift me. Firstly in your friends' home you are not lonely even if alone. Their smiling faces in framed photos, the prepared towels, the full fridge are all so welcoming like a cosy blanket on the sofa. Furthermore in everything I do I define myself for myself as opposed to in the context of others. What a soulful time! I have the chance to imprint the things I want to include and do in the new year and to clean out all that no longer serve me. Let these days be purifying and welcoming and enjoy the passing of time! By the break of the night I will be with loved ones again. 🥰HNY 2026!